Bootilicious Weekend!

It’s always hard to get the body parts moving the day after 24 Hours of booty, it’s a Booty hangover. Joints hurt, muscles ache, there’s that fog that lingers where you just can’t quite think of what next… or maybe, that’s just because Booty is over. There is now nothing to do, right?

Sweet Rides is made up of some pretty awesome people. We have the veterans and the last minute additions, casual and serious riders, silly and adventurous. But all together, I think our team has a beautiful spirit. Green, yellow, a splash of pink, glow in the dark… colors that I can’t pass on a daily basis without a smile. A green purse? It’s a must have! Glow in the dark paint, yes please! Our team is colorful inside and out, and they do Booty with a purpose.

Kicking cancer’s booty is a phrase I hear often. I’m in the middle of it kicking it’s booty, and have learned to do it well, means to stay positive, active, and fight hard.  This weekend I watched 250 riders, a mess load of volunteers, a bunch or spectators and cheerleaders, friends, family, strangers and the Booty organizers go into overdrive, literally karate chopping cancer’s booty to the ground.

First was the fundraising aspect of it all. With amazing donors, corporate sponsors, yard Sales, Kids 24 Minutes of Booty, 2013 BootyCrawl, Canyon’s Night, Friday Night Live events, and again amazing donors,   our team raised almost $17,000. About $10,000 of that being only in the last two weeks. I personally came in a speck under $3,000, Madison beat her goal of $500, and Skip raised over $1,000 in one week. Atlanta raised over $135,000 with a grand tour booty total of around 1.8 million. Not too shabby! In Atlanta our funds raised benefit The Aflac Center at Children’s Healthcare, where I personally know three patients, and LiveStrong, one of the coolest national cancer support systems in the world. Applause for those who have all worked so hard!

Second the riding. For those that know me well, biking is kind of my thing. And the best part, my family loves it too. In past events I’ve ridden the most at 122 miles, the first 24 Hours of booty and the first time being on a road bike. This weekend, I set my goal of 5 miles. Having done treatment 2 days earlier, it was going to be a little tricky. I couldn’t over-do it. I went out for the first lap in the Peachtree Bikes pace vehicle! It felt like I was in the car for a Tour de France team with the guys on the radios. I got to hang out the window and watch my daughter and husband and some pretty sweet survivors and top fundraisers, follow us through the course. You could not get the grin off my face. It was awesome. I felt like I was the queen of the world for just a moment!

My second lap was on a bike. I don’t remember too much because I was concerned about shifting, breaking, taking it easy, watching for cobbles, corners and holes. But I did get to ride with a few 100% amazing people, had a few laughs and lots of shout outs to anyone who wanted to be my Booty buddy. It always sounds wrong, clean people, stay clean. I pulled in to complete my first lap and oooops, what did I do, I just kept right on going! HEHE. I felt fine and honestly the walking back and forth to the bathroom was much much harder. I wish I could have ridden with every single person out there. I wanted to and it makes me sad that I didn’t so maybe next year that is a goal… to somehow ride with everyone for at least a minute!

Now, that being said, I did get a WHOLE lot of pictures with people. LOTS. I think like 60 plus the 400 I downloaded of my Canon. LOL. If I missed getting my picture with you, I’m sorry, know I love you bunches! Everyone there!

Third thing, awards. Friday afternoon, I got a sweet call from Janet saying that 24 Hour of Booty would be awarding the Wall family (that’s us) the Spirit Award. It goes to a rider, or group, that has shown lots of cancer-fighting spirit. What an honor!! I love these guys! They did a quick little interview where Madison got to tell about the cool bike her dad built for her, and Alana, who said “itchy” over and over. She actually got nervous! Yes, Alana. Skip reiterated the fact that so many people helped us during this crazy time and that we could not have done it without them. From meals, to babysitting, to paying for bills, this has been an overwhelming experience and the LEAST we can do is go through it with a positive attitude knowing that God does provide through family, friends and strangers, and that there is good that can come out of such an ugly thing. This weekend was shining goodness and love and I hope you could feel it even if you weren’t there.

Hitting refresh, refresh, refresh, refresh… Friday afternoon was fun as always and it showed at 5:00 PM that we would also be the recipient of the 2013 Top Fundraiser award. ONLY because of our INCREDIBLE donors we have made it into the top three for all 4 years now. I have to be honest, the other teams up there put up a crazy fight and competitive me had prepared myself for “butthead Jay” or Brian to beat us, but once I gave it up, the donations poured in. I prayed over every dollar a LOT of times, and I am confident that our donations, our fundraising, are going to make a difference in this city! So way to go team! Four years in a row, that’s a lot to be excited about! Huge smile!

Fourth, glowsticks. So what’s up with all the glowsticks? For every $5 donation, you can honor someone you love that has fought or is fighting cancer by having their name written on a glowstick. At sunset Saturday we light them and remember why we are here. One friend said, “beautiful, but too many.” And again, it’s why we ride. On Friday night, about 7:30 I’m writing the remainder of the names and realize I had just run out of glowsticks! I ran to Dollar Tree and they had none. I called the second store and wow did I score! 3 to a pack and though there were no green, there were lots of pink! What have I said, “green with a splash of pink!?” It was perrrrrrfect! We wrote them, strung them, hung them and at dark, we lit them. I think we still need to find a good way to make sure everyone is there, like EVERYONE, because it sure is an amazing way to honor survivors. I would LOVE to have 500 glowsticks next year, strung all around both tents, symbolizing the lives that have fought. Mmm. It was cool. (Oh and I still have to laugh, Tracy, Therese and I all could not break the first stick. Always seems to happen that way!)

Fifth, thank you’s. Skip. Madison. Tracy. Therese.

Skip is my love. My sweetest, cutest love. He has been there these last few months in ways I honestly didn’t know possible. When you have fluid oozing from your boob for weeks, it’s not all that flattering! “Hey honey, can you change out the bandage?” CHEESE! He has seen it all folks, and still loves me, that’s HUGE! Hehe! He’s also put up with my nervous tendencies (I talk A LOT) and even shared a little Xanax with me! It’s been hard at times and easy at others, but I think overall, he handled this ordeal really, really well, like a rockstar actually. A pink-haired rockstar. He’s got this silly/serious sense of humor that keeps me on my toes too. Not sure the In Honor of Walter White was all to appropriate, but then again, I’m kind of really drawn to that about him. When you can just shake your head and giggle… He’s crazy.  I love that he is as competitive, if not more, than me, especially when biking is involved! I love that he dyed his hair pink and that he didn’t shave it and went to work like that today. I love that he waxed his legs to finalize last year’s fund raising debt. (video coming soon) I love that he puts up with all my fund raising ideas though he thinks we’re nuts, and I love that he is so generous. I loved riding alongside him this weekend! I barely got to finish the last lap with him, but made it, sprinted and stood up a few times to get there, but wouldn’t want to cross the line with anyone else! (Well, maybe M, but she had another idea in mind) Skip is pretty special to me and so happy God thought enough of me to give me him. Can’t wait for the next 13 cancer-free years!

Madison is mini-me. My clone. However Spencer put it in the awards ceremony, she’s it. But that just means I’m really cute, right??! She is a precious little soul. She is quiet and a bit shy, but one determined, competitive, sweet little girl. And really, once she get’s to know you, it’s over. No more shyness. She rode 46.2 miles meeting and exceeding her goal, all because at 10 years old, she knows what cancer is and how it can hit home. It’s shaken her world and she fights on. She’s determined for a cure. I do love that she saved her energy to be the first to cross the line during the last lap. I’m pretty sure I was near dying trying to keep up with her and finally gave up. Yes, Madison beat me. Whew! Lol.  I loved it when she came up to me and said, “I put three names on the Wall of hope” With the little sweet grin… I knew who the three people were. It melted my heart. Way to go my little Madison, could not be any prouder today of what she’s accomplished!

Tracy, my co-captain Tracy! What a seriously insane year. I am not sure I could fit in here what it means that she keeps doing this crazy thing called booty with me, but I must same I AM SO glad she does! I love her heart and her passion for fighting this ugly disease. I didn’t get to ride with her until after the last lap actually, which was actually kind of funny and pretty sure I won’t forget it, so hoping I will get to ride with her soon. She has a gift of organization, generosity, hospitality, and serving and I love that she loves to go over the top with everything. At the end of the day we may be wore out and think “what in the world are we doing”, but truly, the friendship we have is worth it. So glad we met, made this team and kept it going. It’s been a blast. I can’t thank her enough for how she’s helped, I’m truly thankful for our continued friendship.

My other new long-time booty friend and now co-captain Therese… this is another partner in crime! This girl does a TON! Broken foot, baby, 5^th grade homework... Nothing stops her from fighting the fight. I’m so glad she is a part of this. She’s creative, fun and I love that she is always up for a challenge! She’s a great friend and truly blessed to ride alongside her as well…

Last but not least, highlights, and probably more thank you’s… (I’m going to forget something, I know it! Chemo brain is going to make this hard… READY?) ~ I loved seeing Team MRI pair up with Sweet Rides at the last minute, an amazing group of guys (and Cathy) that I wish I could have ridden with more and gotten to know better this past race season! Definitely not too late! ~ Rode with Mr. Dan Wagner as he made it down from Kentucky with his amazing family and I got to meet his sweet wife Colette. She’s a trip and I’m sure I got me another new friend for life!  Can’t thank them enough, and words will never give justice to how they have supported me and my family through the years. ~ Team Collin, holy moly, I just adore them. I loved seeing them ride by and cheering for them. So glad I got to hug the neck of Vaughn and Melinda. Seeing Vaughn in a dress a

nd pink hair was, well, pretty! Lol. Super precious people. ~ Jay cracks me up as usual. He swears he didn’t ride much but I saw him in a different shirt over and over and over… he was cutting the course, I know. He’s the best at thanking his donors and the pink shirts, pink facial hair and new team this year were pretty cool. I’m so honored to ride alongside him. ~ Peggy, peggy. Oh the girl with pink hair! She ran the course before riding it because she is that awesome. She is a lively spirit and hugging that woman after getting encouragement overload on facebook these last few months was a gift. ~ Brian Hevesy. Got a kiss on the cheek and got to ride in some of my last lap with this inspirational man. Hope someone got a picture of our hands raised coming up that hill! I was a little freaked I was going to hit a cone, but super cool moment. ~ Bob Falkenberg a crazy awesome survivor who has been an inspiration to me these last two months popping up behind me on one of my laps was a little booty gift ~ Team Pirates. I think I got to talk to Kelley more than I ever have this weekend and she is just awesome! So bright and fun! John Manser touched my heart this weekend and loved getting passed by lots of pirate friends on the course. You can always see them coming! Argh!! ~ The neighborhood parties! Lots of cheering from the sidelines! There was even a waterslide at one house and a big screen at another! Lots of signs, people handing out cold drinks, a guy banging on his drums in the driveway early Sunday morning! Priceless! We even got to get cheered on by the Miffitts who came out to see us! I’m not sure they know how much it meant to see them, but it meant a lot! ~ All the Booty crew. They are just crazy awesome. They have been there for us so much through the years. A lovely group of people who I am so beyond honored to know, and keep meeting more! Loved getting on Rogers unicycle! That was COOL! New friend Steve drew the iPad name! Great people! ~ The Rau family, Jen and Rob! They were out volunteering in the Booty store this year and they made my day! Cutest couple ever! I did miss my picture with Jennifer! We said bye and I was trying to refill my Zophram as I had just dropped and lost my pills on the ground and was in a whirlwind! Crazy moment of course and I saw her down the sidewalk and had no energy to chase her down! So gotta get my pic with you girl!!! It was fun to cheer them on too! ~ 5:30 AM bathroom chat with new friend Ann Marie from Charlotte. Sweetheart. ~  6:30 AM breakfast with Blake who may have had the highest mileage for any Sweet Rides team member yet! It was over 200… and most he has ever ridden too! Woohoo! ~ Also ate breakfast with Spencer. Super nice chatting with him. He’s the reason Booty started… and so grateful. Super nice guy with a LOT of heart. ~ Seeing my dad was cool. He’s been working his brains out. I went and took a nap and he slept outside. It was really sweet. Love you ~ Maggie and Warren are heroic. I’m not sure how they kept up with Kaylee and Alana and sometime the rest of the kids this weekend, but they are official Sweet Rides team parents! They are so kind and so generous. Not only did they make it as easy as possible for us, but they may have told those kids no once making it a blast for the little ones. ~ Walked by the Yelp tent and the announcer said to enter to win the red blow up couch. Well guess who won!? ME! HAHA! There were a 167 buttons in the bag and I guessed 149! Woohoo! We are now proud owners of an inflatable couch and the kids were ecstatic. ~ Tina Surls. She is one of my golden donors. Supported all four years in honor of her mom and dad. She cheers me and my family on so much. The encouraging lady was out for a good 8 hours helping and volunteering which blew me away. A light and a love and an inspiration of selflessness! Hope I get to hang out with her some this year ~ Heather for bringing lunch Saturday. She and her aunt will never know how helpful just a meal is. The team was well fed and the food was incredible. It’s really hard to set up and remember to eat, they provided a meal over and beyond. ~ Getting my hug and a few shout outs on the bike from sweet Giordana. She’s a cutie as always ~ Best moment with Amy was when she looked up and noticed the clouds. Pretty sure grandpa was showing off again ~ My mommy. She did a 100 miles and I think I got more hugs from her than ever! Lol! I always love riding with my mom and it was awesome to do the last one with her. ~ Coming to the campsite in the morning and seeing Madison and Skip’s pink head pop out of the tent. Most precious moment. My heart melted! ~ Gayle. I don’t know why her gluten free midnight pizza snack keeps popping in my head but it has all morning! She inspires me on how health-minded she has become. So proud of her! She rode a killing out there and so honored to be on this team four years in a row with her and her sweet husband. She won’t know what all those texts and messages meant to me this summer… what a love. ~ So good to see Ingrid doing massage therapy! What a sweet lady who I hope will even ride with us next year! ~ The Offenbergs! What would it be without Matt and Traci! So glad they came out to ride! Love them so so much! Wish Traci’s knees had felt better - I didn’t get to ride with her either!! Whats up with that?! But I was glad to give Matt an energy gel! lol ~ The Kovacs! Seriously, Jen volunteered. She blew me away, as usual. Generous and kind family. Glad I got to eat dinner with them and  be around her super sweet kiddos ~ Steve Nance came out which was super cool! He is an incredible supporter and I was so grateful he could ride this year ~ David and Kara and boys! Lots of fun watching the boys go around and ride! They really got into it! I especially loved the BMX skidding into place on the last lap. Cracked me up. ~ Aunt Joan and her flowers and her excitement about being there and volunteering was contagious. I bet if you talked to her, you would be out there with her volunteering. It was really sweet and I’m glad she can still be a part in her own special way ~ I think what stands out in my head for Tucker is that curly beard and hair! Lol. I can’t get past it! Naw, I’m kidding. Another perfect example of generosity and friendship. Such a great guy and it was fun watching him and blake bust out some fast laps ~ Michael Burgess showing up for the glow stick ceremony again. Glad he got to pirate a few laps…

I have so many stories and don’t think I have the energy to post them all, much less sift through the chemo brain right now, but these were the first to come to mind. I do want to point out one more amazing thing. The weather was iffy and a ton of people were talking about it. But do you know, it was some of the most beautiful weather, and that the downpour waited for us to unload, close the garage and head upstairs. Most perfect timing ever, as usual. Thank you Lord for watching over us and seeing that the weather would not be a worry and for me not getting too sunburned. Hehe. I always forget that sunscreen!

We wrapped up the weekend with a great dinner with family at California Dreaming. Even my grandmother came and her tears were just heart wrenching. I can’t wait to heal up and visit with her more. I know cancer has pierced her heart in an ugly way… that’s why I continue riding, for all the people with chipped hearts, mine included.

Lot’s of love was shown to my family this weekend and it made my heart grow in ways I didn’t know possible. Cancer isn’t easy, but it sure is fun “thinking” it is. So keep positive, and if you or someone you know is in it, find a way to laugh or make them laugh today! And if you see the color green today, whisper or shout up a ‘thank you’ because it’s my color, I’m cancer free, and God is really good!

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month

It's a HUGE week. Today is October first... the start of Breast Cancer Awareness month. A month that now has a whole new meaning for me and my family... Sweet Rides has always been green, and my story has always been thyroid cancer. Well now, we're just going to throw a little pink in the mix!

Thursday is my last round of chemo! It's kind of surreal in a way... it went by really fast me and the kids agreed last night. I think we're going to celebrate at Pure Taqueria at 7ish if you want to join us! It'll be my last unhealthy meal then its off to crazy-land. I have read and done a ton of research on food and how it relates to cancer and Ijust would rather be safe this go around. I have been told I have cancer now three times, and that's a charm. This is it... no more.

Saturday is also a huge day because it will be our fourth 24 Hours of Booty. It's been a year to say to least. I've never hit that 150 mile goal that I dreamed of, but I will be back next year and it will happen. So this year I am going to play, sleep, ride a lap, talk, sleep, ride another lap, play, sleep and a lot of sleep... Being two days after chemo is always a little concerning but never enough to keep me from riding. Heck, I rode my second round with a fever... it'll be all good. Can't wait to wear all my new green fun stuff! TodayI bought giant glasses, wings, glow things, and my friend made me a great big headband bow (since I can't wear any of the others she has made me!) It's actually pretty obnoxious, but totally perfect. Green & pink with lots of bling!

Well, I will try to blog once more before Booty to let everyone know how round four went! Praying for smooth sailing and the easiest yet! Praise the Lord for Benadryl, Claritin, Steroid and Adivan.

Love y'all!

Catching up on my blogging!

The last 2 weeks have been pretty uneventful hence my lack of not blogging! I was perfectly perfect the first 4 days after chemo and didn't even feel fatigued until day 5! I had started to itch but with a little Benadryl it wiped it out and NEVER came back! I had very little stomach issues which I am convinced are due to milk now and really breezed through this round if compared to the last two! I feel very blessed. My perspective is constantly in check and even today you know, I just can't complain.

I rode for the first time in round three the farthest yet at 6.0 miles with 720 feet of climbing. I had to giggle. There was a guy walking and he said,"wow, I am so impressed. You don't see bikes over on this side of the neighborhood!" I thought, probably not riders undergoing chemo either! I kept fighting on. It hurt, wasn't the easiest of rides but I was on a cancer killing mission. It was NOT going to stop me yesterday and I probably would've ridden farther had I been with some company.

I did however have another first. I stood up and pedaled three pedal strokes on my bike. HUGE. It felt awkward and weird but it's now checked off my list! YAY!

Right now things are crazy busy with the last week of fund raising here. We are doing a yard sale at Child's Play this weekend where people donate items and the proceeds go to the team. This year, we are going to also give a portion to one of the sweetest teachers of the school, just diagnosed with ALL. I have a million emotions but my words are few. I know that shock stage can be overwhelming. Praying for them every day.
We just finished up sorting and whew, I'm cooked. It's a ton of work, but we went through and knocked it out like champs. It was sad that no one showed up to volunteer... Just some sweet moms from Sweet Rides! Gotta love 'em!

I'm off to take a nap now and hoping I'll have energy for a date night!

Tata and if you live in the area PLEASE SHOP OUR SALE TOMORROW OR SATURDAY!!!! Childsd Play Early Learning Center on Hickory Flat Highway 9-1pm! :D www.facebook.com/sweetridesga

Third Emory Visit!

One bad week, 2 good weeks, and one more bad week equals FOUR weeks left! Can you believe it!!?? It FLEW by. I think with school in session (blessing), and losing weeks at a time being sick, just helped it go by fast.

So yesterday was AWESOME. It was the most chill day I have had yet, and the longest! We were gone for 12 hours. 6:45AM-6:45PM. Tracy, my partner in Sweet Rides for 4 years now, worked it out so she could come along. Huge kudos to Scott for making it happen, I know it wasn't easy.

I picked her up at 7 (yes I drove, you all know I'm a nut about that) and we got there at 8:40. On the way I had realized I had forgot my litocaine cream for Lovie! I was bummed until I realized the little tube I saw in my backpack the night before wasn't toothpaste but cream! WAHOO! They took me though I was late. I had my thyroid ultrasound first. I am going to guess it was fine, because she basically said she didn't see anything and it was the FASTEST one I've ever had there. so as long as that is clear and I had good numbers, the thyroid continues to stay in check! Praise God! Oh, during the ultrasound I had to put my cream on and forgot the pad so we used a rubber glove and tissues - very creative. lol. Hey! It worked!!

We went upstairs and my FAVORITE port nurse was there. She is amazing and once again piece of cake! She even used the sensitive bandages for me since I react to everything!OH! And Buffy was there again! I was so happy! She is my cute chemo buddy who is on my same schedule :) Then we walked over to wait for Ruth O'Reagan. And wow, did we wait. It was well over an hour... but we were in no rush at all! We tlaked and caught up on everything that has been going on! It'll all happen in the right timing anyway, and that we saw... We went back and the Doctor to come in first was a resident. I've made it pretty clear that I am NOT a fan of them coming in prior to the doctor and last time, Ruth came in without them which was the best. So when she came in and started asking questions I just politely, all smiles, told her I'd rather just go through everything with Ruth so I didn't have to explain it twice. She agreed but then asked, "how are you so positive?..." She looked floored. It caught me off guard a little, but I told her prayers. lots of prayers. and staying positive. We have fun. I could sit in that corner and cry and mope around, but what good would that do?... I swear she had tears in her little asian eyes and I then realized she was the sweet doctor who talked to me over labor day weekend about my itching. I even posted on facebook how sweet she was. God just made an instant connection, and she looked at me and said, :you're my inspiration. My fiance left me today... Honestly it's all a blur from there. I know there was a promise me it will be okay and Tracy quickly said God promises. :) It was SO awesome. Thinking about it on my way home last night, there were a million things I'd want to share with her. But so thankful he gave us those 5 minutes. She was a doll and I'm so praying for her... Dr. Zane. She's on call this weekend... have this feeling I might need help with a sneeze or something! ;)

Anyway, we did finally meet with Ruth and she seemed like I'd be fine with the Benadryl and so we moved on! Downstairs to infusion waiting where I'm typically very moved. A lot of very sick people down there... a lot of prayers said and tenderness come from just sitting in that room. I recognized many people... some going downhill. Some the same. Wracking my brain of how I can help when this is done...

We finally got called back. 2 hours late and I was in bay A. Well, that wasn't going to work! I needed to sit by my friend! haha! so the sweet wonderful nurses moved me to bay B across from her and her mom. It was so nice to get to know them and their stories (yes, breast cancer for both, twice). Amazing bright women who i'm sure without a doubt God placed in my life for a reason. Forever friends... :')

No adverse reactions so we moved right along and everything was pretty good! I had my same nurse, the one whose birthday is my grandfathers birthday and we got to know each other a little more. This time it was another WOW. She asked about biking and the girls and we told her about Booty and the ride. Somehow we got on the subject of school and how her sister teaches. Do you want to know WHERE her sister teaches? At the school that will be hosting the 24 Hours of booty. I'm not lying!! I looked at Tracy like you have to be kidding me. Well, Cary is all excited about booty now and she is going to ask her sister about it... God? Um, yes! Grandpa, hello! I see you watching!!

So as Buffy was leaving she said they were wearing all pink the next visit to celebrate the end of her treatment and told us about the bell. There is a pretty brass BELL on the wall!!! You get to ring it when you've completed your treatment!!! FUN! The wheels in my head are turning like crazy! I'm going to have some fun with that bell! HAH! Y'all know me, so if you have any thoughts, please pass my way. And I promise to videotape it!

Other than that I had a pretty sleepless night. Lots of insomnia for no reason. Hot flashes, reflux, wheezing. so I played on facebook, ate a snack, ripped the covers off skip by accident (lol. hehe) Poor guy. I'm not the quietest insomniac. So I'm on 4 hours total sleep. 2 and 2 equals for I think... so I'm looking forward to my nap today. Blogging, cleaning and napping are all on the list of things to do. Nice and quiet, all in my own pace. Will probably do a little fundraising too, so if you see an email from me, know I'm passionate about this ride and helping people with cancer know it's going to be okay. 24 Hours of Booty Atlanta supports The Aflac Center at Childrens and LiveStrong, two of my favorites and I sadly know people and children needing both currently. And as we grow in Atlanta, more local cancer initiatives like Winship can be supported too. (I also know that your odds of winning an ipad mini are really good and I really want one of my friends to win it!hehe)!

If you haven't seen, www.sweetridesga.org for all the fabulous steps! Don't forget #5, it's the most important to get you entered!

Happy Happy Friday! Know I love you more! And I mean that! <3

Recap because I haven't blogged AT ALL!

I guess it's been a while since I have blogged, so I will try to do a quick recap. I was working as much as I could to catch up AND get ahead for this next round, and I'm feeling pretty good about where I am...

The second chemo was WAY different from the first. The bone pain and stomach cramping was nearly nothing with the advil, claritin, culturelle, and ativan! I'm such a druggie! I did however contract a NASTY upper respiratory infection that had me calling Emory with a fever and colorful cough by Saturday afternoon. We had the scare of, "if the fever isn't gone in 6 hours you need to go to the ER." Well by the grace of God, MANY prayers and a Z-pack, that sucker was gone by midnight! Whew! Took about 6 days to knock the other crud out, but by day 10 I was feeling back to normal. Buttttt... that's when the rash came. Now at first, I'm thinking a little contact dermatitis. I was wearing a new hat and it was nasty hot. It was all around my scalp and I was an itchy disaster. Taking 3 sometimes 4 showers a day just to scorch it and then put ice water on my head! HA! I got prescription strength cortisone cream from a friend. Nada. I finally called Emory (once again over a weekend, and a holiday weekend at that!) and this sweet doctor (remember her for my next post, she stood out to me as super nice, I even facebooked that she was sweet) told me to take Benadryl, 25mg every 6 hours. I was ready to go the the ER but she said that is what they would do first anyway. It helped tremendously, took the itch off, but made me OH SO Sleepy! After a couple of days of naps and working through a Benadryl fog, Tuesday came and I had to call back. It was EVERYWHERE now. Coming, going, itching, like giant mosquito bites! I was even convinced I had bugs in my house. I vacuumed for the FIRST time in 12 weeks. With two hands and if you know my living room rug, it's like 16x16 maybe? Took 30 minutes because I thought I was sucking up bugs galore. I went outside and dumped it in a bag and started digging with my fingers... you know what I found? Nothing. haha! No bugs. But at least my living room carpet was clean! They finally got me a steroid pack called in Tuesday afternoon and it saved the day! I was on it for 6 days, tapering off. By the last day it was already coming back, but not itchy! So I was okay with that! Had my appointment yesterday and she called me in an extra pack in case it comes back this time, had Benadry in my IV and I'll do the medication coctail that helped last time...

Some fun things to recap on...

Wig! I got my wig, finally, thanks to the special sweet employees at Pings Salon! They are too good to us! Star went with me and we didn't get to meet with my wig-dresser (is that what they're called) but another lady. She was okay but scared me to death when she started cutting it all up! lol. I was like, uhhhhh, is that what you do!?? I think Star freaked too, but in the end it looked great! It was a little "poofy" for me and my flat hair self, but a fun change. I wore it home and Skip I think, was questionable. He never said he didn't like it, but I think it was too-not-me for him :) Then the girls got home and they NEVER SAID A WORD! I was like, hm, did they forget i lost my hair??? I asked madison like an hour later and she goes, "ya, I think I'm used to you without hair now." SAY WHAT?!?!! She was the reason I GOT the wig! Girlllll.... Anyway. I did wear it that afternoon and I like it. I don't need it to feel secure or anything, but it was a fun change. I wore it out the first night to the 24 Hours of booty bar Crawl and loved dressing up! But after about 2 hours, I was done and off it went and onto other people it went! lol. Like I said, it's fun to dress up... The Crawl (a tour of the Woodstock restaurants) was top notch. I don't know how the Offenbergs pulled it off, but it was so good, people were signing up last minute that saw the signs!! It was AWESOME! There was one group that was a Pure, saw the poster and the girls friend had passed away from a brain tumor and that day was her heaven day. They looked for the group and asked to sign up as did 4 other people! That's a God thing... I know it says "Bar" Crawl and that's a little hard for some people to get past, but this event was prayed over as well as the fund raising. It was truly inspiring, exciting and you know what, its over a week later and we are STILL talking about how much fun we had. And the donations the restaurants and local merchants gave, the cover was WELL worth it. I'm so going back to ICE for Sushi now! I never knew they had that amazing sushi!! I'm literally craving it! So huge shout out to Firestone (appetizers and drink specials), Pure (20% off bill and bottomless cheese dip), Ice (sushi, edameme, hummus and drink special), and Cupcakalicious (free mini cupcakes to anyone who stopped by). All four places were extremely generous making this an event that could be pretty huge in years to come... Love our little town and the friends we have here!So good to hang out and laugh in the midst of all the crazy... It's a night I'll never forget.

One other fun thing to recap on! I TOTALLY road my bike up hills last weekend. Yep, I used gears and rode four miles through the neighborhood. It was beautiful. I was feeling wonderful. I couldn't crank it up a hill, that was too much. So I was definitely limited there and had to use my gears wisely, but overall went well. Even went up some big hills! So I am hoping I can get in a couple of laps at booty. Speaking of, I sent Skip a few links to build your own pedi cab and I SO want him to do it this weekend! We have an old bike trailer that the material fell apart on us, that would be PERFECT. We are getting close to the event, only 3 weeks away and I'm getting SUPER excited. We did the booty crawl, the annual school yard sale is in 2 weeks and we started an ipad mini raffle this month!! For $10 donations we enter you into the raffle to win!! some people are getting 5-10 at a time!! LiveStrong and Radioshack donated it and we are SO thankful. Good friends helping us be successful - truly heartwarming. (So if you haven't donated, you should, because right now, I think we only have 60 entries. GOOD odds! And we are going to draw the name at Booty... www.sweetridesga.org for instructions. You have to email your receipt to ipad@sweetridesga.org to qualify, so don't miss that step!)

Finally. Special thanks to my mom and Skip's mom and Warren for staying here when I was down and out. For the MANY meals we received that week. The cards, notes and letters... You all will never know how much they helped... we are so grateful!!

Okay... think that it it for now. I know a ton happened, but it's really hard to blog when i don't feel good, and then when I do feel good, I'm catching up on work. I promise to try to do better this time! Even if not for you, but for me! It's SUCH a good therapy and outlet, and I want to keep my story. Y'all know that I don't have chemo brain... I NEVER have a memory... so this is good :)

Thanks for reading and don't forget to enter to win that ipad and donate in honor of someone YOU know that's battled cancer!!!

LOVE YOU!

Half Way Through...

So I haven't been able to blog since my last round of chemo. I wrote about a paragraph and I read it back to myself 3 times and it didn't make any sense, so I decided to wait until I was feeling better to try again. Let me see if I can remember now...

I ended up feeling fine all the way through Friday night. That is when I realized I was coming down with a cold. Congestion, runny nose, head ache, I was not very accepting. We woke up Saturday morning and I knew the next few days could be hard so I was bound and determined to spend the spring-like day at the park. I managed 4 miles over I think probably 2 hours, had a picnic and laid in the shade under a tree watching the dog and the kids and skip go around and around. It was really good, but I realized how sick i was when we got back into the car. We headed home and lucky for me, the fever was only 100.7. Bad news is, that is a call to Emory.

I had a doctor call me, a prescription called in and picked up all within an hour and a half or so. I did find it very funny, our conversation. The doctor went through and asked me questions and finally he says, "So you have two options. One you can go to the ER. Two I can call you in an antibiotic." I was like, huh? Would anyone actually choose one?? How could that even be a choice! lol. I said, um, yes, I'll take the antibiotic please. Still makes me laugh! I had 6 hours to get rid of the fever or I would HAVE to go to ER and with meds and the power of prayer, it was gone in less than three and NEVER returned. Pretty sweet!

The next few days were a fog. I slept A LOT. The bone pain came and went, but I think the combination of claritin and advil worked wonders for it. I think I may have had a couple of rough hours, so huge blessing. I also did not have the stomach upset I had last time, honestly partly because I could not smell nor taste food for about 4 days! Unfortunately the day my nose cleared I cooked a pot of oatmeal that ended up making me nauseated for about two days. There is something about a crock pot - smells like crock-pot chicken (a pregnancy nightmare making me still gag today) and it lingers into every room. ew. Next subject.

I had a bad idea about taking a bath. I forget my hair is still falling out as it's so short. Well, it was everyyyyywhere. I took a picture, but it didn't do it justice. I can't even describe it but I was surprised to have any left when I dried off! lol. So for now, no baths! It did however inspire me to try to clean the bathroom and at 11 weeks post op, I was able to successfully complete the task. And wow, did it feel GOOD! :D

We were very blessed with meals this week. I think we had dinner brought to us or ordered through a gift card every night this week. We are so grateful for all of the friends and family who are just bringing us as close to a normal life as possible. Skip had a LONG work week and a lot of long commuting. Thankfully we had my mom stay one night and maggie for two more. To have loving family so close has been the sweetest thing, and wish dearly they were even closer, or we weren't so far!

I had some amazing bible study days this week also. A lot of joy filled scripture and great empowerment to endure the sickness. It was definitely needed this week and it seemed like every time I opened up the word, God was giving me exactly what I needed for the day. I did get a little upset at my kids one night and felt bad. I had not yelled in a while. My tolerance was zero and after 10pm on a school night hearing two people cry about whether the night light stays on or off, yep, mommy let loose. But hey, you know what? They went to bed! Sometimes we all need a little discipline and mine know exactly when mommy is serious.

Speaking of the girls, they have been okay with me having no hat this week, and I'm getting used to it too. Skip seems to get caught of guard by it as much as I do, but I think overall it's being accepted into the house as the new norm. It's really funny walking by and catching a glimpse of your reflection and startling yourself. Seriously. I even did it putting something into the microwave the other day! I took a double take and just shook my head! Weird bald lady in my house!

I finally ordered my wig thanks to some awesome people at Ping's Salon. They not only shaved my head making it fun, but they raised money for me to buy a wig. I'm forever grateful for their friendships and love and for always always making me and my girls feel special and pretty. I ordered the long one on facebook that looked most like my hair and the decision made madison SO happy.

Yesterday was FINALLY a make-up day. And yes, I have a sweet friend who almost daily texted me, is it a make-up day yet?? She knows me pretty well... It was actually a really nice day. I probably over did it some, but I wasn't caring too much. After what, almost 8 days of barely leaving the house, it was time! lol.

Well, today is Saturday and I do feel "normal". I have a lingering cough but I think I'm on the road to recovery. Fingers crossed! I'm officially 50% finished today if I include the three weeks after the last round of chemo. That's pretty cool. I'm on a "7-11 energy / 12-4 low energy / 5-9 energy / after 9 crash" cycle again. So I'm making sure I listen to my body and schedule things accordingly. It's been a particularly lovely day with my Madison. We are working on a science project and she caught up on some reading.

All is right, all is good.

Angels Are Real

There were SO many crazy things that happened yesterday, let me see if I can remember them all...

My lovely day started out with some wonderful friends and family at breakfast at Cracker Barrel. For those that don't know, my grandfather passed away a year ago this past May and we used to eat at CB alllllll the time. We even had a pretty regular table AND waitress. I guess I wasn't really thinking, but I chose where we would eat! They sit us at our regular table first. It was a little weird... I have to be honest. Then the waitress came over and told us how much we had missed her and asked about our girls. Wow. I could barely answer her... then I realized, wow, I think grandpa MAY have something to do with this ;) hehe. We had an awesome time overall and it was so great to catch up with old friends...

After that I remembered my good old litocaine cream and patched that stuff on so when my favorite port nurse popped it in, there was once again nada thing! Woohoo! I love that little Lovie! Especially later on when I watched this guy get poked ALL over. Totally not cool. And he's been doing this for FOUR YEARS! Say what?!?!!!

Anyway, back to floor 2 at Emory. So one of my complaints, or better yet just something nagging me was the fact that my oncologist always has her nurse practitioner come in prior to her to look me over. Then relays the information and THEN she comes in. I pick my doctors because I want THAT doctor and I felt led to "hire" then so to speak. I had even mentioned it to doctor Barber the other day. (one of my most favorite doctors in the world - and he says I'm his favorite patient. hehe) So, the girl last time mashed on me so hard that I hurt the next day. Not today, because Dr. O'Reagan came in all by herself and we had THE BEST TALK. I had SO many issues last time and we went through each one and have a game plan for this round. She agrees it's got to get better! I'm kind of excited to see how this goes! Once I get to next Monday, I will officially be half way through!

After the great visit with my oncologist (and again, the FIRST time I've ever just seen her - maybe someone is watching???) I went down for the infusion. We waited a REALLY long time but when the guy came out, he didn't call me by name he walked up to me and said we're ready for you. HUH??? How do you know who I am? This waiting room is PACKED! lol. Weird. So anyway, we went back to the same "bay" and it was decorated with snowflakes and a snow theme. Apparently it is Cruise Week (my grandparents LOVED to cruise) and I got Alaska. Now listen, hospitals are cold, but the infusion room is by far an ice box. So seriously?! Alaska?!! lol. Everyone had palm trees! We sat down and one of the snowflakes above us fell. Me and Amy just giggled then the nurse came up and saw my birthday and said, "Oh! Mine is the 19th!" I almost cried. That was gpas birthday. Really, then we had no doubt, we were sure grandpa was keeping an eye out for me... :')

Overall it was an easy peasay lemon squeezy infusion. We had to wait a lot because of labs and some mix up with the order, but we had another fun bay. I saw my friend Buffy again and we are totally scheduling them at the same time again in three weeks! HAHA! She's a cutie. I also sat in front of a four year brain tumor survivor. Wow is all. Super fun guy with 6 children and an amazing wife who you could tell was just madly in love with her man and never ever leaves his side. It was precious. 

We drove home through a monsoon, I even got flood video, and went to Pure for dinner. (Figured if I was going to be ill, I'd get a yummy "last meal") It was awesome. Skip met us and then we met two new amazing friends! We had THE BEST TIME. It was so nice to sit outside after being inside all day and just laugh until our cheeks hurt. Such an beautiful time...

This morning I lost at least another quarter of my hair and it's up in pig tails until it goes tonight! We had to reschedule as Madison was taking it really hard for the first time since the diagnosis. So pray we have an easy time tonight, lots of laughs and that no one is scared. Pray the kids can handle the change, I know it's hard for them. I can't make them okay with it, only God can protect their hearts <3

Off I go! I've gotta get the girls lunch! We were out of lunch meat!! AH! haha! I feel SUPER awesome today and hope I can keep up the energy! 20 minutes of excersize a day keeps the blood counts good and lots of protein! Love to all who read this! MUAH!

H.O.W. Can I Ever Be The Same

Tomorrow will be 10 weeks since my surgery! What a journey!

I wrote a bunch this morning, trying to catch up, and had yet to post it, but I have to write about what tonight meant to me first...

H.O.W. is an organization called Helping One Woman. Each month a woman going through a tough time is nominated and loved on at a girls night dinner at Cherokee Cattle Company. There are several chapters and they all meet at the same time on the same night! Each woman brings $10 for the woman honored and all the money is raised for her as a beautiful blessing. Tonight that recipient was me. 

It is nearly impossible to put all of my feelings into words. God sent a group of truly amazing women to eat alongside us tonight. My mom, aunt, grandmother and dear friends all came. Staff, bible study friends, people I didn't even know... All came to honor... me... My family. I'm sorry, but that can only be a God thing. He has taught me so many things through my battles with cancer. First it was  love. Second it was leadership. This time it is learning how to slow down and identifying what true joy is. I believe a God given joy is spiritual. It is not something you can conjure up and make happen. I was diagnosed with cancer and my response was joy. I woke up from surgery and there it wa again, joy. I faced some of the hardest most painful days and nights of my life, he sent me joy. Tonight, it showed up again... Joy.

 I received notes and hugs and smiles that were beyond anything this world could ever give. A joy resonates in my heart tonight, a sweet song, one that creates tears of joy, peace and a smile. Joy is a positive feeling, almost a childlike contentment and a fullness of your soul. It's something that I know I would've never found had I never faced this storm... Not something we will always choose, but i am living proof that if we search for the positive, we will find it. We will make it through. We will eventually know why, even if not in this life... God is my strength, and he's topped it with a little joy. I'll never be able to tell each person how their presence changed me tonight. There's a part of my heart that is forever changed and thank you will never ever be enough. 

...the following is what I started writing this morning... 

This weekend my hair began falling out but starting yesterday it REALLY started falling out. Wow! I woke up and my pillow was covered in hair. Then I worked for a couple of hours and when I got up hair was everywhere! I then decided I should probably put my hat back on. I took a shower last night and there was so much hair it covered the drain! Then I had to clean out my hairbrush twice. I've decided it's time to shave my head so I'm heading to Pings Salon tomorrow night! Can't wait. I don't really care, it's kind of interesting how it all just happens at once, but at this point it's just messy and sticks to everything.  I'm not even sure how to get it all out of my hat. I know, I can just turn it inside out and it'll be a wig! Lol

On a different note, I rode 43 minutes on the trainer yesterday! The first time I've had my heart rate up (we did some intervals) and the longest I've pedaled since surgery. Let me just say, it was AWESOME. I have to say other than the losing of hair and the sporadic random pain somewhere and numbness, I'm back to normal! I know it's the calm before the storm, but I think I am actually ready! At one point, sicker than I've ever been I just yelled and laughed "bring it on! I've got God on my side! Lets go!" 

Now I'm feeling good, I'm ready... Lets do this! 

Uppidy-up!

I am definitely on the "up!" I feel about 90% back to normal! Maybe more :) I rode my bike for the first time! 4.5 miles!! I have volunteered at the school for Alana's teacher TWICE! I went SHOPPING at Kohls AND Target today! I even rode the trainer for 15 minutes, but my legs were toast after my little bike adventure and mile walk yesterday! I went grocery shopping and I've done a TON of work, trying to catch up and get a little ahead before the next round-o-chemo. I did discover yet another positive today! Ready? I don't have to shave!! HAHA! I went to shave my legs and was like, huh, it didn't grow! And my underarms! Nada! lol. I think possibly maybe my hair was falling out a little more than normal today, but I didn't really tug on it to see either! It had been shedding less than when I had long hair up until today... yay for short, healthy hair!I also had a few other firsts: I could fluff the sheets (like when you swoosh them in the air to straighten them out!), I carried in my own groceries, and I was able to wipe down the counters! Big week! I also had no stomach issues and no food adversions. I ate my first salad and it was YUMMY. The only think tasting funny now is anything sour and dips with ships or crackers. All taste super weird...

I'm so ready for the weekend! I really wish it were not going to rain. I'm loving the cool air and would love to do something SUPER fun with the family while I have good energy... not really sure what that is yet, but I'm sure we will figure out something! I want to thank everyone reading for all the continued support. I know by next weekend I will be feeling like caca again, but to feel THIS good right now is so wonderful and so amazing... All my love! Muah!

Adventures in Atlanta Plastic Surgery

Today I am feeling wonderful. I got ready, did my hair and make-up and felt oddly "normal." I made it right on time to the doctors office and the rapid strep test was negative. They are sending it for a culture, but went ahead and started me on antibiotics to just be sure I don't pick up strep from the lanaberry. I actually had never met this doctor and I really, really like her... I may have to cheat on Dr. Williams every once in a while! HAHA!

I also had my check up with Dr. Namnoum today. And like the title says, it is ALWAYS an adventure and I always get a good laugh and leave with a smile. When Dr. N came in he saw my hair chopped and asked, "What did you do to your hair?" And because his face was all red I had to ask, "What did you do to your face!??" (Apparently he was bored and was lazering some spots away. lol) He messed with my hair and was making ehhh sounds. It makes me laugh, because he is just one of those people who is blatantly honest. He asked about chemo and I told him how awful it was and how I had bone pain. Well he went into this OCD mode where he HAD to figure out why Taxol actually CAUSES bone pain. So when I was leaving he pulled me aside to their computers and I'm watching him google and learn. He was getting really frustrated that it wasn't telling him what he wanted to now and I'm sorry, but it was really funny. I wondered if there were any other patients  at this point. I was pretty sure there were about 5 nurses hanging around and were all quiet until sweet Cindy came out! She's his admin and she rocks. She was in love with my hair saying how sexy it was! Love her! Then I saw Allison, the main nurse who tells me when I can do things... I had asked Dr. N if I could ride my bike and he said deep in internet world, "ya, whatever." lol So I asked her and she said as long as I'm careful!!! So if you can't find me tonight you know where I'll be! (Allison thought I had sexy hair too, so as long as my husband thinks it is, we're all good! lol) Anyway, you may have had to have been there to get a giggle, but it made me laugh. I now have to wait a whole month, but the receptionist said I can visit any time. So I may have to drop in with some goodies on a week I'm feeling up to it. They are all just the sweetest there and it helps to leave somewhere feeling good about yourself, especially after all of this craziness.

Alana is feeling LOADS better. Like a new child. I did look in her throat though and ewwww. It is still a nasty haven of swollen sickness. No fever though and hoping Madison can hold out for us! She was coughing this morning... I know. I know.

Back to working i go, had to blog that before i forgot :)

Dodging the Sickies

This weekend I felt continually better. Until dinner Saturday night, when I just crashed from literally going all day long. Something I did do this weekend, was get on a bike!! It was an incredible feeling... I just have so much "happy" on my bike. I go to the doctor tomorrow and I really hope I can get cleared to ride the Greenway! I'd love to try before the next round of chemo! I did get in a 20 minute walk with Madison last night and we made a trip to Ellijay to check on things... overall, a wonderful weekend. 

Today we've been faced with our first sick challenge. Alana spiked a fever last night and has a pretty nasty sore throat. I had heard there was a virus going around, so thank God I talked to Jen today. She was telling me how her daughter had strep, the ONLY reason I made an appointment today. We went in and the doctor gasped! lol. There were two nasty looking pus balls on her throat. Bigger than any I have EVER seen. So the obvious is here - the concern of what happens if I get strep throat.

I called Emory and they asked me to get a strep test ASAP. Unfortunately I've been exposed and she is contagious for another 20 hours. If I do however come down with symptoms, off to Emory I go. So we are hoping I can stay germ free, even with a compromised immune system...

I've started getting itchy scalp but I haven't seen any hair fall out yet. Or nothing more than the norm. I had a dream I was pulling it out in clumps, it was long again, and it was kinda gross. I like dreams to know how I'm going to react. Before the mastectomy i had a dream and when I saw the end results, I was okay! and in my dream the cupcakes weren't near as pretty! hah!

Tonight a friend and I chatted about a really neat thing he wants to do as a fund raiser, Sock it to Cancer 24HOB. It is going to make me cry... so I'll write more when the links come out. But know it's so me, and so cool. :)

Good night! Gotta get sick child one and runny nose two off to bed... then it's off to doctor visits in the morning!

XOXO.

Feeling Perdy Good

Happy Friday, happy day eight!

So today was the end of the school week, and we celebrated with pool, Teds and ice cream! And you know what!!? I was able to eat and it was wonderful :) today I've felt amazing compared to any day last week. Maybe it was the quick trip to school to drop off apples today. I was the worst parent ever. It's week one and I'm sneaking into class for a peak. (I justified it because I didn't get to go to meet n greet) but then, I saw Alana at the board, the cutest class ever, talked to the teacher and started to cry!! I couldn't stop!! Lol. I let before I caused too much commotion... Still cannot believe I cried!!? Lol.

I went to physical therapy today and she adjusted all my excersizes. I guess because I have a port there are limited things we can do now. Glad I didn't stretch out for two weeks!! She also gave me a great back rub helping to ease some of the nerve shock pain (I call it) in the back. Apparently as you get feeling, things can feel that way.

I chopped my hair off yesterday! That was fun actually. I got the best scalp massage EVER and then Ping did her thing. She's amazing. I can pretty much let her do her thing and I'll never be disappointed. Ever. I'm really happy with the new style. I had a dream last night that my hair started coming out in chunks and that was weird. The lady said it would be 10-14 before it did, so maybe near the end of the weekend.

It has truly never felt so good to feel good. It was a hard week, and I know three more are awaiting me after each treatment, but at least we know what's coming this go around. Being better prepared will be huge. Like taking out stock in Imodium!! Lol.

I would love to try to see if I can ride a bike this weekend, but we will see. There is lots of fun stuff planned, hopefully I can continue to feel good and we can enjoy the sunshine:) feeling extra special and extra thankful tonight as I write. Off to get some sleep... Xoxoxo

1 Down, 11 To Go!

It's been one week since chemo and wowzers, it kicked my booty. I am currently 10 pounds down and fit in my jeans again, thanks to the amazing chemo diet! It consisted of scrambled eggs, soup and crackers for about 4 days and over 40 trips to the bathroom, but I do not recommend it. Needless to say, my stomach is still sore, and I am tired, but slowly I am beginning to function again! I've noticed I have the most energy between 9 and 11 AM and 4 and 8 PM, so I'm trying to work/nap in between so I can rest, and do chores and help the kids the other times. It seems to work well so far. Last night, Skip took me to the mall to get a couple of things and really, to get out. I walked slow and sat in the chairs and didn't even go far, but when I was done, my feet were killing me. So weird. Then we went to Taco Mac for dinner, and I can't believe I did it, but I ordered a kids grilled cheese, unseasoned fries and a ginger ale. Amazingly, everything actually sounded good on the menu, but I knew my stomach would reject it. For the first time though, it 4 days, dinner stayed and it was actually pretty good! Who knew!

Today, I worked a bit and worked on designing the 2013 Sweet Rides jersey, took a strengths test (which said my number one strength was positivity! HA!) and organized the tupperware that kept pouring out of the cabinet.(Skip is going to love me more now. Watch.) I think I'm going to get my hair chopped today. More because I like getting my hair cut and less of any other reason. lol. I can't get manicures and pedicures during chemo because of infection risk, so this is my back up. Plus, I would kinda like to see what I'm going to look like in short hair... I didn't order the wig yet because I was sold on getting the long one until Skip said short was cute - well, and the fact I couldn't pick up the phone to call the lady. 

OK. Off to get after school snacks ready.... be back tomorrow! Hopefully feeling "more better" as Alana would say!

PS, my girls are getting along, madison is not anxious for school, is making friends and helping her little sister. She is more confident and organized and I have a great feeling about this year. Little Lana is loving school and comments daily, "the best day ever." Such a relief for me... such a relief.

Day 6... And Home Alone!

"You have become weak, so make yourselves strong again. Keep on the right path, so [you] will not stumble but rather be strengthened." Hebrews 12:12-13

Praise God for bringing me out of the last two days. I see some light and my stomach is feeling a bit of relief!  I'm not sure I've ever been so weak, depleted of every last bit of energy and strength. Close, but this weekend wins the gold for sure. I neared the door of stupid discouragement a few times, only neared it, but kept it closed tight with the love and encouragement of many. It's truly a gift looking back, of the words that were said and written. There are many, many angels looking over us...

I've now lost six pounds already due to the cells being destroyed in my stomach. I love that chemo works on quickly replicating cells, but I'm disappointed that one of those cells happens to be the lining of your stomach. Did you know that's why people often get sick and nauseated? Yep. Learn something new every day ;) I'm now on Culturelle, a semi liquid diet (soup & eggs), Zantac and Tylenol and I'm feeling a bit better. My organic, healthy, fruit & veggie diet is out the window for the next 78 days as me even writing those words makes me actually gag. I will take a tray of tater tots please. My food aversions are almost identical to those of when I was pregnant, but worse. Haha. I saw an avocado yesterday and instantly gagged. I wasn't even planning on eating it!! It just looked at me! Anyway, I'm sure it's half the reason my stomach is rotten, I mean, I'm not sure the last time I ate a can of Campbell's soup. (As my gpa would say, "sodium soup". Hehe) I will start back after this is done... Until then it's junk food frenzy. Just kidding. That too sounds awful. Lol. 

I was able to help see the girls off to school today without feeling like I was going to pass out, and I even walked home! .06 miles. (We now know that from the transportation website) lol. Not far but good to get a breath of fresh air. Now me and Jax are laying in bed. I'm contemplating starting my physical therapy as I'm way way behind, but then getting a hair cut sounds like heaven too. I know, it seems a little silly considering it'll likely fall out in a week, but it always feels so yummy to get your hair washed! You know what I'm talking about ;) don't think I'm crazy, you'd totally do it too! 

I guess I will get some nap time here at the great time of 9 AM. I'm feeling a little sleepy again. If you're reading this know I love you so so much, and I hope you have the best day. Smile big and keep strong in whatever you face today! Muah!

Ouchy Mama

It's most definitely been a trying 24 hours. Despite my hourly irritable stomach, sometimes more than hourly, I had bone pain like nothing I could ever prepare for. I was trying to find a way to describe it. I think if you imagine shin splints, they hurt, that never cease, and then take that pain and add it to your knees, hips and femurs, that would be a good start. Constant. Then you get the momentary shock of pain in other bones, like wrist, back and even the face. Yes, I had chin and cheek bone pain. If you know me well, I have a pretty high tolerance for pain. I ride a lot, I do things my body gets pretty angry about, but this... It's nagging. I had it all day and night... I'm still feeling it. I prayed through the pain for others suffering, I tried cuddling next to warm skip, I got up-down-up-down, I added and took away pillows... But it wasn't until 6:30 when I felt like the pain released for a moment. But guess what time that was? Yep! First day of school time. I'm not kidding! So I hobbled into the bathroom where two girls actually worked together to share a bathroom. Two very, very excited girls. I managed to do hair, barely, and we all went downstairs. Alana was more excited than any person I have ever seen go to school. She was insane! Lol. Then skip drove us to the bus stop while the girls walked down. Lana had already lost her bow and her ponytail was barely hanging on, and was nearly jumping the entire time. I watched and smiled, deep down knowing this was probably the hardest morning I've ever had. I was almost certain I was going to pass out, but the bus saved the day. We watched them onto the bus, skip drove me home, I sat on the couch and completely lost it. I had to hold it together for Madison, but I was pretty sure I'd never felt this bad in my life, along with watching our youngest baby start kindergarten. Skip laughed because he had just asked if I'd like him to work from home and I had answered him faster than I've ever answered. But once he saw the waterfall of tears, he goes, oh ya, I'm definitely staying home. I'm not sad, and I'm ok, I'm just worn out. Like a 5 year old that just needs to go to sleep. I was done. I'm going to try for sleep now that its 9:30. Just hoping I wake up a little better (: good thing is that chemo is doing its job. 80 days left! Wheeeeee.

First 48 Hours

Well, I forgot to post this, so here were my thoughts from the first day... "Today is the big day! The chemo is dripping and nearly one down three to go. Everyone has been really nice and skip even met a stage four, three year survivor when I went to the restroom. I think she made his day :) They accessed my port for the first time this morning. I wasn't sure what to expect but it went beautifully!! Not even a pinch! I'm sure it's due to all the wonderful prayers. I've watched one lady get pricked 3 times (sweet, sweet Cynthia), and another once (Buffy). I was so anxious for them!! I know now without a doubt now I did the right thing! Love my Lovie!  I was not once nervous today. A bit tired and a little headache, but otherwise okay! All curled up in my fancy recliner... Maybe I can nap like the sweet old man across from me. He is out like a light... Now that's peaceful at its finest..."

The first 24 hours were fairly uneventful. After chemo we went and had a lovely lunch at California Dreaming and then went home for a quiet night. I woke up with some pain under my arms which I now know is normal. I took it easy all day knowing it was Canyons Night for our 24 Hours of Booty fund raiser. About two hours before I started losing all my energy and decided to ride in wih Skip. It was sooooo good to see so many friendly faces, and met a whole bunch of knew ones too! I drank a Coke and ate a double cheeseburger. I don't think my current healthy eating kick is going to go over well. You know, it kinda feels like I'm pregnant. Tired. Food looks gross. And I have this nasty taste in my mouth on the tip of my tongue. It almost feels numb or like you burned it maybe? Almost fizzy. That's the best way to describe it. Overall I feel very blessed and thankful.

Today I woke up and my stomach isn't very happy and I have a weird subtle pain in my chin-neck. Lol. Who knows, maybe it's killing those left over thyroid cells ;) I need to go to the grocery store but Skip and I both decided I might not make it without falling asleep! Holy tired! I feel like the laziest person on the planet at the moment. I went to get the girls lunch and the word left overs made my stomach turn. Ooooky gooky. Back in the recliner... :) Dog with a blog, Good luck Charlie, Jesse... Yep, I'm now a Disney Channel guru. (: as long as I don't start watching when they're gone...

That being said it is the last weekend before school starts. It seems so weird that I have a fifth grader and a Kindergadener! Just got all their paperwork signed and back packs packed... I shouldn't talk about that. My babies are all gone... Whaaaaaaaa! Ok. Seriously, lunch time for the family. Girls are eating chips. :) tata for now! 2 days done, 82 to go!

Meet My Port...

Madison woke up today and asked me if I had gotten my port. I said yes and she asked me if I had named it. I asked her why she thought I would've named my port. She said, "because that is something you would do..." He he. Se knows me well. I think I'm going to name it Lovie, but I need to make sure that's cool with Madison first.

Yesterday I went in to get my port. It was a really long day as they were hours behind schedule. Thankfully I wasn't very nervous, more hungry since I had to fast. It was an overall kinda-okay experience. I did meet a wonderful nurse who was trying to save me from getting pricked twice, sending me back to radiology, but in the end they sent me back to her. I was basically messing with their system and they couldn't accommodate. I was a little on edge from getting blood and getting an IV right up to the point I looked up at her name tag, it was Joy. And she was a sweetheart. After that, no worries... Even the IV was a piece of cake later.

 They do a lot of prep in the room before they sedate you. I remember asking them twice how long it takes to work, because there was no strange feeling or what they said, "you'll hear us but you won't care." I felt and listened to the entire numbing process and again told her I was pretty coherent. She said she was giving me more and from that moment on, I was out cold. I wasn't feeling great after the drugs, so I took lots of PM medicine and crashed through the night. Today I'm feeling better. We just left Dr. Namnoum who literally scolded me for letting Emory implanting the port without asking him first. He wants it done right, with as little scar as possible - basically he is a perfectionist and made it clear he wants the very best for me. So I agreed to never have another procedure without consulting him first. Lol. It was like getting sat-down by my dad! I was a little nervous! Haha! He took out more fluid and we are waiting until next Tuesday to expand again since we are headed out of town. 

As far as chemo is concerned, we are just going to see how it goes. I'm going to check out Illuminations Tuesday for a wig and Thursday is the first treatment. I've been told to expect to not feel good starting about 3 days after treatment. Then possibly again at 10-14 days when your neutrophils are lowest. Most people said the fourth treatment is the hardest. Guess we are just going to wait and see. One of those things we literally cannot prepare for - and for me that is hard! Thankfully we won't need too much help as the kids go back to school the fifth. Once again, perfect timing.

Off to go play in Charlotte 24 Hours of Booty... Kinda weird not to be prepping for a ride!! Instead I get to cheer, volunteer, take pictures, & talk! Can't wait to see who I'll meet this weekend! 

:) happy weekend. 

Physical therapy and Pink Ribbons

I just got back from PT with magical Gweyn. Today she added 1 pound weights and made me lay on my stomach! EEK. That was SUPER scary! She assured me that it was all good, which of course, it was. She has me doing these push up things. More like a lower back stretch, but regardless it felt SO good. We did yoga moves and some other interesting things to help my spine and posture, and wow it works! She's awesome and gave me a huge hug before we left. I can't wait to see where I am in two more weeks! Maybe I'll be doing a handstand!!! ;)

I left there and had a second appointment, actually not with a doctor. My plastic surgeon started a non-profit back in 2009 called the Pink Ribbon Story Foundation. Basically, it will eventually be a massive catalog of women's stories who have battled breast cancer for newly diagnosed woman to go to for encouragement and research. I was honored to be a part of the filming today, and made a lot of new friends. There were lots of smiles and lots of giggles, so in my book, that is a good day. I sincerely love people, and if sharing my story can help someone else, by all means, I am in.

I did meet a woman today who did the Penguin Cold Cap who said she would do it again in a heartbeat, but I don't think I'm that dedicated. It's a lot of money and seems like a lot of work, for something that will come back over time. (Maybe I could score a little thicker hair even! lol). As I heard her story, how and why she did it, I realized how different each and every one of us is. We faced the same disease, with strength, but with two totally different personalities. She needed no one to know, she needed to feel as normal as possible. Obviously, I need everyone to know, as I draw contentment from the social interaction. I don't really care if someone stops me and asks how I am doing... She said it would make her sick if someone did... We were both completely opposite, but peaceful in our storms. Very enlightening for me...

I'm not trying to belittle what people go through, I'm walking my own trial, but having a positive, fun attitude, making light of what could be very dark, is my way of getting through. I hope other people can find their "happy" amidst the storms. Trusting God allows me to be free... I can't imagine doing life any other way.

Fuzzy Weekend

I have to be honest. I'm kinda in lala land. My mind is in one hundred places other than where I actually am. I'm not sad, depressed, nothing like that, just weird. I'm peaceful, but feel like I have too many loose ends before chemo, yet I don't really know what those loose ends are? Does that even make sense? I'm quiet. Overly quiet, but keep being reminded that "in quietness and trust shall be your strength." I'm quiet and trusting because I'm not quite sure what else I'm supposed to be doing! I know that I need to tell the kids at some point, and I just need to pray for the perfect time and words. I need a lot of sitters over the next two weeks and I'm not really feeling organized enough to manage that. I have my chalkboard up, but feeling scatterbrained and its bothering me that I started with Saturday instead of Monday but too much of a hassle to re do it. I feel like I need to do something here at home to prepare for chemo, but I keep getting distracted. Praying hard for creativity because working has become quite interesting. Then the pondering of what should I do with all this hair. Should I buy hats and scarves? Weird. It's all super weird.

On a completely other note, I did love the church service on Baptism today. It was so good and everyone should listen to it. The service closed with the song Cornerstone. It was just for me... Through the storm, he is lord, lord of all.

-Verse 1-

My hope is built on nothing less

than Jesus' blood and righteousness

I dare not trust the sweetest frame

but wholly trust in Jesus' name

[Verse 1]

-Chorus-

Christ alone, Cornerstone

Weak made strong, in the Savior's love

Through the storm

He is Lord, Lord of All

-Verse 2-

When darkness seems to hide His face

I rest on His unchanging grace

In every high and stormy gale

My anchor holds within the veil

My anchor holds within the veil 

[Chorus]

He is Lord, Lord of all

[Chorus 2x]

-Verse 3-

Then He shall come with trumpets sound

Oh, may I then in Him be found

Dressed in His righteousness alone

faultless, stand before the throne

Oncology Visit and More...

It's been a few days, maybe longer since I've blogged! I have a lot to write actually...

Lots of firsts: I drove, twice. First time was a little tight and I stayed in the hood. Tonight I ventured to the grocery and felt awesome. I went to the Y and was able to get on the spin bike. I submerdged into the lazy river pool, wonderful. I took my first bath today. I've had several moments doing things and having a "normal" feeling. Doing my scissor arm stretches I touched the floor. I made a bed. I cooked dinner a few times. Lots and lots! It's really nice to feel like we're returning to some normalcy. Even though I know it's not going to last long, it feels refreshing and its keeping me really positive.

I went back to Dr. Namnoum Tuesday and he removed fluid from the right side only. I actually got a great picture of the needle. It's huge. Tomorrow I get my first cupcake filling and we will ask about new expected dates for the rest of reconstruction. It gets put off with chemo, but praying we can keep a surgery date before dec 31 as we would hate to start the deduct ales over.

Today was our trip to Emory. We were expecting I'd have to do chemo, I am, and we got the time line. I will start treatment August 1. I will do four treatments three weeks apart. Aug 1, Aug 22, Sep 12, and the last dose Oct 3. (Two days before booty!!! I thought that was pretty special) We have lots of research but the drug combo will be taxotere and cytoxan. Yes, hair loss is expected, but it's all good. So thankful that it seems to be a quick deal and we will pray everything gets to stay on schedule, and most of all it makes certain this disease never comes back.

I saw a friend at Emory today, she was seeing the same doctor. It was one of those God moments - totally made my day. She's a super rock star and has encouraged me more tha she knows. Very thankful for her!

Off to bed I go. This may have been the longest day ever. I'm so sleepy. Love to all of you and don't hesitate to call, text, email or Facebook! I love keeping in touch with everyone!

XOxo

Physical-magical-therapy

Thursday was my PT appointment with Gweyn. Now once again I heard her name over and over, "Gweyn is the best. You can only see her." Even the scheduler said that. Lol. Gweyn is a woman probably in her late fifties with a deep knowledge of anatomy physiology. She showed me charts and explained why I was feeling what I was feeling for an hour. Then she stopped, and we started the excersizes. I didn't like her any more. She first said ok lay flat on this table. I laughed. She made me. Then she has me taking deep breaths and it felt like my cupcakes were going to fall out of their wrappers. Then she grabs my arm starts moving it in all not so wonderful directions and oh my, hello muscle reactions! She stopped and we started 5 different, super slow, therapies. My arms were literally shaking. She counted, made me hold, stretch, reach... If you know Irene from the Y, this would be her BFF. We finished up and she said I had to do all of that three times a day. Yaaaa... Ok. I thought I was going to die. We drove home and surprisingly, I felt fairly good. I took some Advil and that evening I was reminded I needed to do them again. I did however notice, my little left pain, was nonexistent and I was sure I overdid it? Hm. So I did my stuff and went to bed - on my back with 3 pillows instead of 8. She said no more nest. Kinda sad... but, it felt good and I slept 6 hours. I woke up super early for my Emory appointment with my endocrinologist and began to get ready. I was blown away... I could wash both hands in the sink at the same time, I could stand almost straight up washing my hair, I got dressed with no pain, I felt almost normal!! It was awesome! It went on ALL day. There were things I couldn't dream of doing the day before without hurting that suddenly I could do with no problem. The muscle I would massage under my arm had been so tight it felt like I had a piece of wood stretching across it. This day, mush. I could squish it! It really got me excited and I couldn't stop. I cut pizza with a knife and used pressure! Insert silly dance. I'm still excited. I used my camera and took pictures last night of the kids playing!! I felt really good. So. You want to hear the very best part? It happened today and I almost cried I was so happy... I was able to stretch my arms almost over my head! Ok. Cool, but do you know what that meant?!? That I could shave ALL of my underarms! No joke. I've been fighting the pain, smoothing it, doing everything I could and could still never ever get it all... Today, I'm a new woman. Laugh away, it was glorious!!! It's the little things I tell you, the little things. So, I now a have a huge love for good physical therapists. She changed my life in less than 24 hours and I'm forever grateful. OH and you know what she said, I'll have you back at the YMCA doing your classes and we will get you back mountain biking too. She was confident and I believe her! Thank you magical PT lady! You're an amazing blessing!