Happy Summer

Finally! A good scan:-) all is normal on the CT, praise God. I have a small ovarian cyst but that's pretty normal for me. I have to wait for my doctor to return Monday for his thoughts. But this is so good! We are chilling at mom's pool in Griffin - so relaxing but best of all getting to spend time with her and the girls. This is now MY official start to summer...

Recovery and Benadryl

I was able to talk to the nurse yesterday in hopes of finding out what my recovery time would look like. Mostly, it depends on the individual but she gave me some stats as a baseline - some people do better, some take longer. 

2-4 days in hospital.

2 weeks of seriously uncomfortable, with lots of sleep, muscle relaxers and narcotics. 

Must have someone to take care of me, and then someone to take care of kids. 

4 Weeks until super light lower body exercise (walk or spin), driving. No bouncing or upper body.

The conversation was much, much longer, but that's basically the gist! Said the back pain is probably the worst part where they remove the muscle. So this will be "easy-peasy lemon-squeezy" as Lana would say!

On another note, today I had a CT as I've had some stomach pain. Doctor decided to be cautious considering my current situation. I've probably had 8-10 scans with contrast, but today I was blessed with an allergic reaction to it. Oh yes. It was joyful. Instant vomit and hives. After the shock of it I started laughing... only me. They let me go after I proved I could breathe and headed to grab some Benadryl, just in case. 

Now I'm a sleepy mess and my stomach is in knots, but overall, okay! 

Results tomorrow... Until then. note to self: No contrast.

Lot's of Boobies and a Date!

Yesterday afternoon/evening we got to meet with the doctor who will be my plastic surgeon. I told Skip I knew he was just perfect in about a minute. He looked at me, made a few comments and said, "Oh, ya, I got it. Yep, we're good. You're going to look amazing." That is the words of an artist. I do the same thing. I'll meet with co-workers and clients and after gathering their ideas I say the exact same... "Oh ya, I got this." We did lots of really cool pictures, even one on a machine called a Vectra. It takes your picture and then puts it into 3-D so they can move,shape, size, etc. Very cool. Afterwards we went into the doctors office to chat and it was wallpapered with certificates galore, from where do you think? Oh yes, John Hopkins. Okay, see, I did "feel" John Hopkins, I just didn't realize it would be a doctor who studied there and not the actual place. It made me smile. He pulled out his laptop and we started looking at all of the options. Big, little, muscle, fat, nipple sparing, nipple making, you name it, we saw it. I must say, I was blown away. (Especially if you ever google masectomy images - never EVER do that by the way) So we decided what we wanted to do. Again, I get an email and cell phone number with directions to contact or text him any time at all. Amazing. So we love them, I got to choose my hospital, and done. Well, kind of. So THEN she goes, so, not to freak you out, but we're out of network. I think my eyes popped out of my head, mouth hit the floor and I thought no way. No way.  I'll be honest, if God got us this far, and this guy can do everything he says he can do, well it's worth it. We are going to have to come out of pocket a little more than expected, but she said they would work with us in some amazing way. We're in God's hands now, so bring on the fun!

Found out today, Wednesday June 12 will be the surgery date at NorthSide Hospital. Until then, I have a super long list of things the kids would like to do this summer. If you want to join us on any of them, keep in touch... we have a LONG list and we'd love to share them all with family and friends!

Love y'all bunches. XO
PS. Found out today a good friend's breast biopsy came back negative. Praise the Lord. I am so, so happy for her :)

A Little Wow for the Day

So in my last post, I was pretty confident my choices were narrowed down to Emory or John Hopkins. I had cancelled the one with an Atlanta doctor, as my research had led me to wanting a surgical oncologist. That same evening, about 4 hours after my post, I get a phone call from the very doctor I cancelled with. And let me remind you, I've never spoken to or met this doctor in my life. I just simply cancelled my appointment. Not only did he take the next 15 minutes to talk to me, but then proceeded to give me his cell number so I could text him in case I needed anything. Really? I got off the phone and told Skip. I was floored. Why did it matter to him? Why did he feel the need to call me? I called my dad, spoke to a friend and decided to text him. "Thank you so much for talking to me tonight. I have been praying hard about this decision. I'd love to make an appointment to talk more." The following morning a nurse from his office calls and said he had told her that he wanted to see me and that the only time he had was 6:30AM Thursday. Wow. The only good thing about that is no traffic! Sure! Why not?

Now it's Wednesday. I went to meet with Dr. Carlson at Emory. He was very thorough. I love Emory and I think extremely high of the hospital and what they do. I thought Dr. C was professional and gave me great insight as to how the surgery would work. Oh, and he does both. One of the very few doctors that can. He was a little "in my space" as I would call it, as at one point I think he was about 6 inches from my nose and said, "you're tall." In my head, all I could think is 'you have very blue eyes and you're too close' but I just said "well, you're tall too." He was an older white-haired man and just had a sweet look about him. I told Skip while we waited for him to come back that I didn't think we'd need to go to John Hopkins unless tomorrow was a total fail. So I left there and thought, wow, that went really well! I feel good.

After a few nightmares about me and Alana in Ellijay, I woke up at the fabulous time of 4:30AM! See if you read farther back, God had been preparing me all along for this early wake-up. We drove separately and we arrived right on time. The door was locked, so as I would any doctor of mine, I texted the doctor to let him know I was there. Yes, that was funny-sarcasm... it's very bizarre. He greeted us with a great big smile and walked us back. No check-in, no nurses. The building was quiet and we were the only ones there.

He started through his checklist to make sure he covered everything, and wow, did he cover everything. There was so much information that I think my mouth may have just hung open a while - but it was so good. I love good info, especially medical info. He proceeded to explain about the sentinal node biopsy they would perform during surgery and why he felt it was super important for us to do it bilaterally. That was the second WOW for me as two doctors had said they would do right side only. (The first was one number playing into how aggressive the tumor was and he was the first to not blow it off) The biggest reason I wowed was that the night before I laid in bed and for a second I thought, "but why wouldn't you do both sides if you weren't sure there was cancer in the left breast too?"

He had a more thorough exam than the other two doctors combined. He taught us all about what we saw on the ultrasound machine and where it lie exactly under the skin. He first put it up and all I could think about was my girls and the first time we saw them on the screen, so me being me I go, "awwwww, look honey, it's our baby...." I'm not sure if Skip was amused but it sure made me laugh. He explained how very important it would be for WHOever did the surgery that they take everything around it because of it's close proximity to the skin.

At one point I looked up at the wall and there was a poster his children had made that had a scripture at the top and a picture they had taken down a dirt road with a telephone pole at the end. It was so pretty. I knew God had led me down this road... I was in the right place. Before we left he texted the plastic surgeon all my information (who was in surgery mind you) and I had an appointment scheduled FOR TODAY within 2 hours. I left there processing a whole morning of wows.

In the end, what I thought I knew two days ago God completely disagreed with a turned around in a matter of 48 hours. To the point that John Hopkins is 99% out of the picture and a doctor I didn't even have an appointment with may very well be it. I won't say definitely until I meet with the plastic surgeon, but I'm not sure how that could go badly at this point...

I have to say thank you to everyone who has called, stopped me in the hall, texted, emailed, facebook, smiley-waved, visited and overall just been there. It already is, and is going to be an amazing journey because of you <3

Ring, Ring! God Calling.

I started this morning a little anxious about the week. I have my two appointments at Emory and John Hopkins scheduled this month and feel very strongly that it will be one of those two. I have 3 other appointments this week that needed to be cancelled in light of that feeling, but knowing how hard it was to get in with these doctors, I had this hesitation. So I prayed. Hard. I asked God to just show me what I should do, I needed a sign... ring, ring. It was Warren. He was calling about my other mom, (Skip's mom) and said that it was a miracle she was alive. They found that her main artery was 99% blocked and they could not believe she had not had a heart attack. They were in shock. I hung up the phone trying to process it all, and I'm not really sure what I did after that, but eventually realized that was my answer. I went in for thyroid surgery and the doctors were shocked. When they opened my neck, everything was black. When I go into breast surgery, I pray they're not shocked, but what if they are? I love my doctor to this point, she is great, and the doctors I have been referred to I'm sure are awesome as well. I just think I'm being led elsewhere. As soon as I gathered my thoughts, the first of those doctors called asking if I'd like to come in today instead, they had a cancellation, and instead I got to cancel it on the spot. 

Wednesday I see the surgical oncologist at Emory and May 28th is the one in Baltimore... Praying for wisdom, confirmation and discernment as we continue to make these huge decisions. Until Wednesday...

Perhaps John Hopkins

So a book was given to me by a very special friend and because it was the shortest I decided to read it first. It's written by Lillie Shockney and titled, Stealing Second Base. First, let me say, every woman ever diagnosed with breast cancer should autimatically receive this book. She has anazmzing sense of humor and basically walks you through her journey. From emotions, to questions, to terminology - everything. The reason my friend gave me this book was that she actually had a connection to her and had sent an email hoping we could connect. After I finished the book (last night) I decided to email her my story and had a couple of questions. She wrote me back this morning with her answers...

1. I saw you refer to a few surgeons in your book as surgical oncologists. I have two breast specialists that I've been referred to in our area, but I don't think either have that title. Is there a difference or a reason I should look into finding one?

THERE IS A DIFFERENCE. A BREAST SURGICAL ONCOLOGIST IS A SURGEON WHO CHOSE TO GET MORE EDUCATION AND DO A FELLOWSHIP AT AN ACADEMIC CANCER CENTER. THESE CAN BE 1-2 YEARS IN LENGTH AND IT IS DEDICATED SOLELY TO BREAST CANCER DIAGNOSIS AND TREATMENT. THESE TYPES OF BREAST SURGEONS (SO THEY AREN’T GENERAL SURGEONS DOING SOME BREAST SURGERIES) HAVE BEEN SCIENTIFICALLY PROVEN TO HAVE HIGHER SURVIVAL RATES TOO.

2. Would you see a reason to travel to John Hopkins at my current stage/diagnosis? Are there any institutions/doctors you would recommend here in Atlanta? 

WE PROVIDE I BELIEVE THE BEST SKIN SPARING/NIPPLE SPARING MASTECTOMIES WITH EVERY FORM OF RECONSTRUCTION KNOWN TO MAN/WOMAN. IT IS WORTH THE TRIP TO COME HERE. MORE THAN 30% OF OUR PATIENTS TRAVEL MORE THAN 500 MILES FOR THEIR SURGERY HERE. THEN IF ADDITIONAL TREATMENT IS NEEDED WE GET THEM CONNECTED WITH FOLKS BACK HOMEFOR CHEMO OR RADIATION IF NEEDED.   BTW, YOU ARE CORRECT THAT YOUR PROGNOSTIC FACTORS OF ER,PR AND HER2 ARE EXCELLENT. THIS MEANS YOU SHOULD HAVE ONCOTYPEDX TEST DONE TO DETERMINE IF CHEMO WOULD BE OF BENEFIT OR NOT. I AM HOPING YOU DON’T NEED IT!!  IF YOU WANT TO COME HERE CALL 443-287-2778.  LET ME KNOW IF YOU DO COME. TELL THE SCHEDULER YOU CONNECTED WITH ME VIA OUR WEBSITE. I WOULD RECOMMEND DR CAMP AND DR SACKS FOR YOU!!

Looks like I may be getting a third opinon in Baltimore! And I was just saying how I'd love to travel this summer... funny.

Decisions, Decisions!

So. I have decided that I would like to do this once, and will opt for the double mastectomy. And I like abbreviations so I'm going to call it a MM or maybe a doubleM. :) I've been reading my brains out and have a good idea of what I'm in for, but I'm sure nothing will prepare me for the real thing. I'm super, super peaceful and rarely even think about it anymore - but that may be the fact that there's what seems like an eternity (or a week) between every doctor visit, so why be bothered!? It's just a little rock in my boob. Hardly noticeable other than I feel this need to pick at it at least 5 times a day. I'm serious!

So my next decision is who my surgeons will be. I've had 4 very highly recommended. The first I loved, but because I am a huge advocate for second opinions, I will be seeing the rest...

May 14 Dr. Barber - Breast Surgeon

May 15 Dr. Fabian - Plastic Surgeon

May 22 Dr. Corgan - Breast Surgeon (I love her)

TBD Dr. Woods - Plastic Suregoen

Anyway! Lots of visits and lots of praying over who is right for me! My first instinct seems to know, but always, always make sure! A friend posted this morning about her husband who was admitted today: "if it were our child, we would want the opinion of every doctor in this place." And she's on her 4th opinion in a matter of a few hours. :)It was an awesome reminder of how important it really is. (And I read her post about 2 minutes after making my 2nd appointment - guessing that was confirmation. hehe)

So the good news is that I get time to chill for 8 more days... yipeeeee! (I really would like this done tomorrow, but I was advised not to worry. So I'm not!) Hugs and love to all my favorite people out there! Yep, that's all of y'all!

Kids Ride for the Cure at Harmony

Wow! What an amazing AMAZING day!!! First. I will start with there were several of us praying all week as we watched the weather report get worse and worse. All I kept thinking was, "I'm stressing more about the weather and Kids Ride than I am about cancer!" How weird is that!?? So I left it to God. He was going to make this work - and he did. There was flooding and a 90% chance of rain for the entire weekend. Until the hourly came out Sunday morning. There would be sun from 1-4pm. Seriously! It rained throughout our entire set up and then poof, the clouds disappeared and the sun came out! It was GORGEOUS! It was a miracle... just like God parted the seas, he parted those clouds so we could make a difference and so our kids would be safe. HOW COOL IS THAT!?

The ride was awesome. Simply awesome. The kids had a blast, the adults had fun cheering, and overall we could not have asked for a better event... I'm so thankful for all those who helped make it happen because Lord knows there was no way I could do it alone. :)

At 4:00 sprinkle, sprinkle, down came the rain and in perfect timing. We were packing up - and may I add, at lightning speed. We have some pretty awesome volunteers because I blinked and it was done. Not kidding. And even better, while we were finishing up Vicki was preparing our house for dinner. So after a fun-filled, adrenaline-rushed 5 hours, we could chill out, and eat dinner. She even made these beautiful Sweet Rides cupcakes and a SR cake in radioactive green! Love it! Then, if it weren't already the best day, we look outside and it's a double rainbow... a reminder of God's promises. Pretty awesome.

Hanging out with family and friends this weekend and watching this ride come together was emotionally beautiful. I can't describe to anyone the feeling it gives, but it humbles me to know that so many people are walking with us and are here for us.

45 riders. Close to $900 raised. Safe kids. Riding for a cure. yep, well worth it...
Pictures are on our facebook page: www.facebook.com/sweetrides

Estrogen+,progesterone+,HER2-

It's been a really good day. I kept Madison out of school and we all went to the zoo! Animals, cotton candy, pretzels, slushies, stuffed animals, giraffe feeding... Spoiled rotten! :)

I did get some results back this afternoon via Emory! I officially have a nurse navigator and she was able to give me results and next steps. My tumor came back estrogen positive, progesterone positive, and HER2 negative. If you're like me I have no clue what that meant, but apparently that is really good! In the end it means the cells would likely be responsive to hormone therapy treatment and is likely slower growing than previously thought. Also gives me a 50/50 chance of having chemo. I have made the decision to have a double mastectomy so the next step is to meet with another surgeon, possibly two, as well as plastic surgeons. I really REALLY love Dr Corgan but I am a huge advocate for getting second opinions so I'm hoping I can get in quickly. I have a few referrals and will make calls Monday. After I settle on the WHO we will make a surgery date. During surgery they will check lymph nodes for possible involvement and will send off everything for pathology. After we get those results I will meet with the oncologist at Emory to discuss the findings and treatment plan. Seems like such a slow process for cancer but I'm once again reminded Gods timing is perfect and I just need to wait. :) peaceful as can be!

I'm probably less peaceful seeing the wether reports for Sunday. Our Kids Ride for the Cure is 2:00 and I just pray we are able to continue. Despite the crazy though, people continue to register which is just amazing and warms my heart.

Can't wait for my lazy day tomorrow. Our calendar actually has nothing on it!!!
Hugs to all...
Nadine

MRI Results

Thank you for the notes and calls of love today. All I could think all morning was, "should I call? Should I call? Maybe I will. I can wait. Should I call? Would I be bugging them?" Ya, I called and two hours later the report came during my mommy/daughter tea <3 (Which was a tear jerker in itself)

MRI shows 3 more spots. Two on the same side as the current mass. One new one on the other side. The one only-lonely mass is super tiny and suspicious. There is a similar one on the right. The other on the right they are concerned about - it's an ugly one.

So the choice presents itself, do the triple-MRI guided biopsy so you know it's cancer or not, or do the double mastectomy and call it a day. Time to have a date night...

I love you all so so so so much. You must know that. I love people and I want to call every single one of you, but I need you to know that that in itself is super overwhelming and this is just the best way I know how to update you all right now. My family, my friends, y'all rock my wonderful world and know I am peaceful because of your love and prayers <3

The Elevator Ride

We jumped on the elevator and I hear, "Nadine Lewin!?" I turn and it was Jill Godbee from high school :) We had a quick hello, she got off and apparently we didn't press any buttons so back down we went. The door opens and in walks a woman. "Lance?? Nadine?? What are you doing here??" Really? It's Mrs. Bagley from Calumet West and wow, that was awesome! Down more we go and we are back to the lobby. The three of us get off, kind of in shock and up walks Jamie Maddox from church! WHAT!? lol. Now I'm just laughing... Get a hug and off they go. Not 30 seconds later David Markham and Ashlyn, my neighbors walk in. Made my day! So all within a two minute time frame we had a sweet reunions with old friends and got to say hello to current ones! I didn't want to leave the lobby, but we went up, except we had to stop on 4 floors before we could figure our where our cars were... It's funny how much joy two minutes can bring. I'm still smiling. :)