Happy Friday, I've been home 2 Weeks!

The birds have left the nest! No drains. I can't explain the feeling but its funny. I find myself checking that they're not being pulled, going to the bathroom just got easier, and my first shower drain less was glorious! No drains had hurt but the last drain I felt go through my entire back. I think it was near a few nerves and must've been the weird feeling I'd get every so often in my back. They are still unhappy with the fluid build up so I'm now double wrapped. The pain on the left side is still intense and I endured it until 7. Then I couldn't rip it off fast enough. It is working though because I can see my underarms which were so swollen two days ago that I couldn't tell the difference between a fold and incision! So gross... Try shaving that too. Ain't happenin!

Today was also fantastic as my friend Star not only took me to the doctor but also took me to the grocery store!! It was awesome. I've been wanting to go so badly:) weird. I know. Thankfully not too many stared at my need to constantly put pressure on my pain spot (aka side boob). I don't always think about it anymore as I pretty much have my hand in my shirt non-stop. My neighbor borrowed milk today and we busted out laughing as I didn't even notice... Sad.

Oooh! Today we hired a maid. I'm kinda excited. We've never had anyone clean our house until our neighbors bought us the housecleaning certificate. It was incredible to come home to a perfect house, but as the weeks have come and gone, there are just some things skip doesn't need to add to his plate. So we found this sweet young girl and she is going to be here every other week starting Monday! What a treat!

I'm still obsessed with turmeric, maitke mushrooms, organic vegetables, sugar free findings and their relationship to cancer. Books and websites are confirming my need to change how we eat here. Especially since it could potentially save my life and preventing anyone else in my family from getting cancer. I'm going to end up being that weird vegetarian lady and probably drive my husband nuts, but I think in the end, if there's a warm meal on the table, he won't care too much. My first attempt to the change is I ordered turmeric supplements, I've ordered a weekly organic veggie and fruit basket that is delivered in my neighborhood, and all the meat I bought today was organic. I'm kind of excited.  Most people that know me know I love food.  I means it's actually a problem... This is going to be hard but I'm convinced it has to be done.

So sleepy! Until tomorrow....

(Skip just had a bug in his shorts. Funniest thing ever)

No Fear

“He will have NO fear of bad news : his heart is steadfast trusting in the Lord”  Psalm 112:7

Read this on a blog of a friend whose son is in fierce treatment for Luekemia. I really needed that today and praying so hard for that sweet boy! The faith of their family shines so bright...

I have officially figured out how to put on and take off shirts with sleeves! It's another step! Loosely bandaged today and looks like drains are draining less this morning! That's exciting. Praying my body absorbs the fluid. Another weird thing I'm experiencing is the feeling of a need to stretch whenever I wake in the night. Everything tenses and then relieves as if I've stretched! It's bizarre - hoping that's maybe just a normal side effect of living off muscle relaxers or something...

The girls are occupied this morning by our wonderful morning nanny! Marisa has been a blessing as her entire family. She comes and gets the girls fed and dressed every day, and then entertains them for a while. It gives me a chance to get ready, which is around an hour or so and let's Skip start working. He is going to go back to the office next week which makes me a tad nervous, but at least he picked a week with a holiday!! I'm sure he is ready to get to get away from the crazy...

Two Week Anniversary!

Yes it has been two weeks! Yesterday I went in for another check up and the doctor was not happy with how slow my body seemed to be absorbing the fluids, so he left the drains in and wrapped me. At first it felt loose and I kind of liked the support. Oh, and picture a giant ace bandage. He also signed me up for physical therapy which we will start next week sometime. After the appointment we did lunch, watched a movie, took a mile walk with the kids and dog, and came home. And then out of nowhere began the pain on the left boob. We took off the bandage. No relief. Pain meds, no relief. It took about 3 hours and falling asleep to get past it. I was really concerned about sleeping and slept 7 hours straight! Proves I truly do not need to worry, I know this! He took me off one antibiotic and that was the 3 am one! So that was cool. I took a muscle relaxer, climbed back in bed and slept until 9:30. It takes me forever to get ready so around 11 I was done, right about the time the kids headed off to a friends house for the day. It was so so needed. The quiet that is. The bickering has truly stressed both skip and I to our limits and to the point I think it's halting my progress. Hopefully, today was a good change of scenery and they can come home peacefully. (Never mind, I already hear skips voice and its not pretty. Lol) Anyway, I head back to the doctor Friday to get drains two and four out. That will be nice.

Progress...
I wore make up and a dress!! I folded laundry (that was too much). I started working today and never once got queezy.

Off I go. Enjoying the sounds on the back patio as the sun sets. Lots of birds, bats, and last night even a screech owl... Pretty.

Slow & Calm

I'm trying to figure out the last time we had a calm, low key weekend. When was the last time anyone had one? Well, we here at the Wall family stay busy. So busy in fact I watched my husband do nearly 8 hours of yard work yesterday. It included making new pine islands where grass had died, pruning bushes, filling in holes, mowing... It looks so pretty! We always had a pretty yard, but we had even let that go and I had not realized how bad it looked until it was fixed. I think that's life in general. Sometimes we don't know how bad we are making things until something stops you in your tracks. Today's devotional was about slowing down, finding calm, and peace. That's funny, I've found the ultimate calm - I can't lift a magazine per the doctors orders! Sitting around and being forced to be "slow" has made me realize how fast I really am. It's almost like a feeling of frustration followed by a huge understanding of why I needed to slow down. For example, I wanted to dig, lay pine straw, do all those yard work things and instead I sat in different chairs throughout the day, finding shade. That evening Skip admitted he overdid it. But we always overdo it. Even this kids are fast. I took my first walk with them yesterday evening before dinner. I made it to the first roundabout and back, maybe 1/4 mile or so! The kids kept yelling at each other, "wait for mom!" I'm usually the one going hurry, hurry! Come on girls. It was fun to watch them wander up and around enjoying the freedom of just going at their own pace. Overall an awesome weekend...

I can now get ready for the day on my own, I can make scrambled eggs if someone brings me all the ingredients and washes the pan. I can spend a little time on the computer without nausea, as I paid bills and worked on my scrapbook! I sat on the ground for the first time yesterday! Getting up was interesting. I try every day to lift my arms a little higher. My right is doing better than my left. I'm only taking a pain pill to sleep and haven't even thought about cutting back on muscle relaxers yet. They work so well. I have a doctor appointment tomorrow. I likely will not get the drains out as I think yesterday's output was still around 50-60. Maybe by the end of the week!?

Well, today I have a ridiculous headache and seem to be more sleepy than most days so off I go to nap. So thrilled that I am just 2 days from the two week mark. Longest, calmest, slowest, most peaceful two weeks ever. That's something to be thankful for.

Update before the weekend

We are daily thankful for the unbelievable outpouring of love. God has shown up in ways I never even imagined. People we don't even know are taking care of us and doing everything possible to keep some sort of normalcy through all of this. I know it's God, because God is love. It's a beautiful thing and my heart is overjoyed and happy; thankful tears cover my face often. I don't know how to ever thank so many people, they've blessed our family so...

Today is one week and two days from surgery and feeling a tiny bit of normal return. Today I opened a pill bottle AND the microwave! Lol. It sounds so funny, but I've been trying for days to open that silly little bottle. It's crazy all the muscles you use for the smallest things. I also sat on the back patio and watched skip cut the bushes, watched the kids play in the pool, and did lots of arts and crafts with the girls.  I even got up and back in bed by myself!

Yesterday we made a last minute trip to the doctor as I was just draining too much. Thankfully it was an easy fix and they just added a stitch. They also decided to remove all the tagiderm which gave me a new sense of freedom! Having my skin back was nice, and a little weird. There's a lot of swelling still but that should all go down in weeks to come. I cannot believe that this is only the first step - definitely not what I originally pictured, but so grateful for my doctors because its great. I go back Tuesday at noon for another check up and expect to get the other two drains out. Until then, it's stay mobile, rest often, keep reaching, and no lifting.

Kinda Gross Day

Last night was Skips first night free from duties. Vicki sat with me and helped me get ready for bed. I was pretty wiped out from the long day. I ate all my meals downstairs, ventured outside and to the doctor, got two drains out, watched a movie on the couch and slept in my bed last night. The only complication is that one drain scar is constantly seeping and soaked through the tagiderm and lots of gauze. Skip fixed me up and changed my bandages this morning to try to keep them dry. We go back Friday to get everything else removed as I'm still covered in tagiderm. They said it will feel relly good to get it all off - I can't wait. I had a serious bout of tummy trouble this morning which has pretty much put me out of commission. It was worse than childbirth to the point I started to think I'd have to call 911. Of course it had to happen when I had our babysitter stay with me but she was a champ. Her mom warned me to eat lots of papaya... Whew, she didn't really go into detail of what would happen if I didn't and now I'm fearful of anything ever passing through my system again. Ever. I'm off to nap now. Between not being able to sit at this point and shot nerves from Dr Skips drain changing I'm ready to start today over... :) maybe when I wake up it'll be all better...

Pathology Report

Fastest pathology results on the planet. 2.2 cm tumor with clear margins (so they got everything around it). No other suspicious areas were found. Left breast completely clear. All lymph nodes were clear. Wished it were a bit smaller, as between 2-5cm is considered stage 2. Maybe since its barely over I get a free pass to stay stage 1. ;) overall, nice results.

All of the treatment questions will be addressed in the oncology appointment I'm making with Emory now. They usually see patients 2-3 weeks out of surgery. I should have the oncotype (recurrence test) back then as well.

There are so many people praying and helping. It's so nice and truly helps. So ready to get into a good groove with kids home. They're so cute but its definitely a little more than I'm ready for, at least today it was.
Lots of hugs.

The Nest

It's Monday! Wow! Looks like skip is going to work from home this week :) thank goodness! I can get up and down but I need help getting into my nest. We must take a picture. I think it's 6 pillows, one bean bag, 3 blankets, me and the recliner. Oh! And my 4 baby eggs (drains). Alana and Madison were a little weirded out by the drains and so we said I was the mama bird, and they're my baby birds, and I have to sit on them so they will hatch and fly away. They liked that much better than the obvious. Actually, she just woke up, ran in and asked if my eggs hatched! Lol. She's hilarious. She wanted to see them and now she is flying away...

I slept really really good last night. Around 11 I was ready to go back in my nest and the house was silent. I was chatting with Maggie on Facebook and no one was answering their phones! I finally went into Madison's bedroom and Madison, skip and Jax were all fast asleep on the top bunk and my mom on the bottom. It was sweet. :) we got me set up and turned alarms on for 1 o'clock meds and I didn't wake until 3! Then I got right back in bed until 7. Poor skip must feel like he has a newborn all over again.

I'm going to do art with my oh so helpful Madison. She has barely left my side. It's super sweet...

Total Content

It's Sunday! Happy Father's Day! It's been 4 days since I checked into Northside. I'm in a little more pain this morning but worth it. I slept really really good for the first time and missed a dose of meds. So we are going to see if we can cut back a smidge. I don't love being on all this stuff. Even aftern12 hours my eyes are real groggy and I could probably go back to sleep.

Skip has been amazing. He's there every second. Helping, pushing, lifting, serving, distributing, dealing (lol, my drugs), and most of all loving me. I guess acts of service is my love language so if he knows it or not, it's got me full! Haha! He's done so good with drains too. Its kind of a game - like a horse race. Good old number two seems to overproduce, and we laugh as we call them by name.

He made me laugh about so hard yesterday it hurt. All I remember was that we were looking at the new ladies and they're much huger than I ever expected. They're wide! Boxy like she said, and hard. I thought waiting for the nipples would be weird, but its not. They actually look amazing for just having surgery. There is this clear plastic dressings they form to your incisions to keep them clean and dry so you see everything. There are two circles where they went in from the aeroela, and one 4 inch or so where the lump, two under my arm, two 6-8 inch incisions on the back where the muscle was removed. That's probably the most painful area, but better than I expected.

It's such a wild experience. I'm so thankful for where we've been and feel God sitting right here always. I feel like I'm being babysat by lots of angels. The joy I feel daily is from none other than God. It's similar to that "peace that transcends all understanding" but joy. It's contentment. I read another day of Joyce Meyers devotional and today I noticed something. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" is one of the most tresasured scriptures, but I've somehow missed the text that proceeds it...

"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength. (Philippians 4:11-13 NIV)"

"The apostle Paul said in Philippians 4:11-13 that he had learned how to be content and satisfied to the point where he was not disturbed by whatever state he was in. In other words, he never allowed himself to get upset with where he was at the moment, he was always looking forward to where he could be. That means you, like Paul, need to find a balance between contentment and ambition. Here's the key: Learn to enjoy where you are on the way to where you're going."

It was just an awesome word. I'm feeling like a nap all of a sudden... Bye bye

Two days post op and I'm feeling great!

So far so good. Drains are flowing and today has been a sleepy yet restless day. IV out thankfully and now I'm waiting for dinner, meds and a ride home! Skip is putting a removable shower head and  bench in the shower as that proved to be so helpful. I'm already weaning off pain meds as I just went 7 hours! Yikes! I'm hurting now but thats better than every hour yesterday. We've had the nicest nurses, such a gift. Especially the food service girl. She looks like one of my bffs from ny who passed away. She brings me extra special treats and is just wonderful. Feeling so loved by so many. Just brings me such joy... Just got up all by myself and walked around my suite today too! I can't believe it really. Praying for quick healing and no infections! Have to sanitize things daily and anyone sick or who has been sick cant visit or make food. It makes sense to me as I know a few women who've endured that additional battle. Three more days until we get pathology reports! It's going by quick and I'm not too nervous. Guess I'm prepared either way but obviously hope we can skip that step;) surgery again in three months and then they are going to do everything possible to get me on the road bike for booty. She said I may only get one lap, but she would make it happen. Think I've recruited my favorite nurse to ride with us too! Rita's a gem. Maggie is my fearless nurse. Sandra was my wise loving nurse. Sara was my smiling tech. Sharon was my overnight blessing nurse. All of them really... Just precious. Well I guess I've rambled enough. Maybe I can catch one more nap before 7.

Consider it pure joy when you face troubles of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith produces perserverance. James 1:2-3

Joy doesn't come from having your circumstances in order or under control; it comes from what's in your heart. -Joyce Meyer (June 13 Daily Reading)

This is where the healing begins

Thank you Lord for getting me onto the flip side. No lymph node involvement was found, no surprises, and my doc texted me saying it went spectacularly well. Skip and I decided to look at the incisions together and we were so impressed. It already looks so good! :) praying for no infections or anything of the such. Just a simple healing... We've been sleeping on a and off and I've gotten up to go to the restroom twice. I was a little nervous but it wasn't near as bad as I expected it to be! Then I got to eat some jello for breakfast! Orange, my favorite! Oh and those little juice cups. Yum!! Just ate lunch and got my muscle relaxer. Definitely a key drug in helping with comfort. Honestly I never thought I would feel this good. I'm so joyful... I couldn't figure out what Gods word is this go around. Usually get something whether a word or scripture but not this time. I was praying this morning and reading iversion and there it was again, joy! All as I watched the sunrise out my amazing room:) Joy keeps popping up and I know that's where my heart is. God has giving me a huge dose of joy in my heart and I'm just so thankful. Everyone has been so kind on Facebook and it is so great to connect with so many faces of love. I can't even begin to describe how touching one little comment can be.

Now we wait for pathology and recur eve rating and thank God they have all the cancer out:) grateful for the best, most compassionate couple of doctors on the planet.

I'm here!

I'm sitting in the back waiting to go! Long day for everyone but its going to be A okay! I've never been so peaceful and this silly childlike joy is all over me. It's a blessing I know! I love and adore every note, text, email, message, comment,like, visit and more... It's been overwhelming in a good way. If Godis love then I'm witnessing him in a beautiful way and you are all a part.

Yesterday I got marked with a sharpie and if I get more courage i will post my additions. I added a few designs because it was calling my name! Who doesn't love to doodle with a sharpie!!!?? :) love and love my surgeons! They have been calling and texting me for weeks. It's so special to feel like you're the only patient in the world...

Just got the iv and I almost got sick. Apparently they used the biggest one. And though they numbed it it hit a nerve. That's not a good pain... So it stands, I hate IVs.

10:30 surgery
8hours
3hour recovery
4 days in hospital

I'll write more later! Off to radiology for a final MRI:) feeling better and now my honey is here. Ah.

Cowden's?

I had my genetic test results come back and they told us nothing... Basically, the results were not positive for Cowdens Syndrome, but they weren't negative either! Of course, I'm 0.20% of the people that show a mutation in the PTEN gene that is unclassified and ultimately inconclusive. So they want my family and I to participate in a research study. I actually laughed out loud and the girl was shocked saying I was taking this so well. I was honestly confused... should I be sad? It's okay, I know I'm a little weird!

So. two full days left... I'm actually feeling good. Not anxious, just feel like I have 8 million things to do before then. I keep an ongoing list on my phone, but whew, its crunch time, but at least we had FUN these last few weeks! That's worth it for sure!

I will write about the Tuesday appointment with the plastic surgeon... unitl then,
PEACE!

I've been on vaca and forgot to write 'til now!

Yesterday made me more nervous than I expected. I had to sign a bagillion papers - basically, here's what we're doing, do you consent, and will you pay us if your insurance doesn't. That's really all they need to say... It would be much simpler and save a lot of paper! I went in an met with the nurse and secretary. Dr. Namnoum saw me, stopped in and was just sweet as ever. It triple confirmed he is the one for me! I was certain there wasn't another patient in there ;)

So I took the opportunity to ask about mountain biking... they looked at me like I was crazy. "like in the dirt?" Yes. I'm a little insane, but how long? Like two years??! They said no, no. One?? And I got the side-to-side-give-or-take nod. Boo. Well, I guess it's like getting pregnant again? Ya, okay, we'll go with that - it's much more pleasant. Guess I'll be on the road - maybe I could even ride Charlotte booty!? Is that too much of a stretch?... Probably, but a goal of October wouldn't be!

They explained the bandages, and drains (EEEEEEK) there's four of them and I will be pro at emptying them? Oh geez. They don't know my unreal fear of drains... Got about 10 medications I have to fill. There was a lot I don't even remember! Thankfully they copied a sheet and gave it to me as afternoon reading material. he he.

So tomorrow is the genetic testing appointment! FINALLY. The insurance was a pain and it got delayed but I'm sure for a good reason, right?! 9:00 and I'm really quite excited. I think it will be negative, but if not, it opens a whole new world of what-could-be-next. I really am excited... it's bizarre.

So today is apparently a week from surgery. 7 days left for summer fun! Today we did... nothing! lol. Madison had a friend over and we bought father's day gifts since I may not be home. Maybe I will go for a bike ride and then spoil the girls tonight. Sounds good to me! Off to find a sitter... until tomorrow! Peace...