PTL Another Day

Yesterday ended up being a little bit more up than the day before. I still felt off, but I could at least hold a conversation. First time in days that it didn’t exhaust me. Actually we were about to go out. We went to Kroger for groceries. Dad picked us up and we brought the mommy stroller, Madison pushed me and my dad the cart. I just pointed and led. Of course it was SO hard because that fast part of me just wanted to grab and go! I have this place down and my list is in order of the store. Yes, it takes time to make my grocery list. I meal plan, add ingredients I’ll need we don’t have for each meal, and organize the list by how I walk the store. So now when you know when I heard the words “it’ll be hard to make a grocery list,” it was unacceptable. I’ll defeat that.

We picked up a ton of vegetables and new things as Madison has become a vegetarian also. She is flipping out because a boy wore a fox skin to hat day Friday. I tested it by having burgers, taco night, and steak this week and she didn’t budge. The cool thing is that I’ve taught her new recipes and ways to cook as I won’t be able to always. Veggie quesadillas, veggie omlettes, and veggie burgers! I use a lot of proteins from nuts, beans and quinoa if you start going protein crazy. It’s fun, I really enjoy cooking with her, and from the stool works.

Last night we were blessed by friends coming to cook our planned meal, keeping us company and eating together. It ended up being a great afternoon/evening, one of the first in days. After they left we kept working on our Hope Journal. I’m not sure who put that in my mailbox but we ABSOLUTELY plan to be at the next “Kid Stuff” at Woodstock City Church. We missed it only because we had previously made plans, and it was hard as I knew it was on Hope, but I will say this book has been SUPER fun and very applicable to where we are at. So thank you, journal giver!

Today we woke up, just staring out the window, cuddling with my sweetheart. It was the reason I didn’t get up at 7:15 when my alarm went off. Around 8, I reopened my eyes and heard Alana coughing and held my breath. But when I went to her room, she was fine!! Her throat was almost closed shut last night, and after 2 days of off and on mention of the throat, I was sure we were on our way to Strep land. Instead I got a hard lesson in saying, “it’s not allergies…” and guess what, it is for her. A dose of Benadryl before bed and she was normal. Both flares were after playing outside. So lesson learned, it’s good to be cautious, not obsessive, over germs when you are on chemotherapy.

So today I have been feeling well. Our friend grabbed our girls and went to the park leaving Skip and I alone. We have not heard the sound of silence in a while. So we cooked late breakfast together, enjoyed some adult conversation, and sat on the back soaking up some rays. It was fantastic. I felt a huge weight of stress just melt away for the first time in a week.

The girls came home and we decided to head to Rope Mill and made ourselves a little campground. Hammock time, creek time, riding time for all – and I even said whatever and went out and back on the paved. It’s not easy watching millions of mountain bikes run in and out of the trails, but I just tried to remember, it’s a beautiful day and I’m still here to see it. I found myself taking a picture of my bike on the bridge to the trails to post onto a fun Facebook group “My bike leaning against stuff.” My sad side was ‘want to go that way lean’ but had to go the paved path way. Then thought about my life, you know, we’ve prayed for the right path, the smooth easy path, it was just symbolic of my life really. Kinda cool, and kept me from thinking negatively.

We rode about ½ mile of paved trail and headed back. I didn’t feel great, but that’s how I used to get myself better, so I did it and got some blood flowing. I used to be sick as a dog and would go ride to “get the crud out.” Because when you are huffing and puffing, that stuff isn’t staying in your chest. Unfortunately my bones ache, but today advil helped a little and with the positive energy flowing, I did it and didn’t feel like collapsing, or toppling over or any of those feelings I would have just walking up or down the stairs last week!

So now, I finish my blog for the day, sitting in the car to get warm and full. Pushing through this disease is by far THE hardest thing to date I’ve ever done. And this chemo just has to keep me alive to and able to get to the trials and then I know we ar there!! We can do it!