Blogging Backwards was the only Way!

Wow, I’ve missed a few days! Sorry! Let’s see this is going to be hard! Maybe I’ll write backwards!? Here is a shot at it. If it doesn’t work, I’ll have you read bottoms up!

This morning was just a reminder of last night. For whatever reason, I’ve had side effects and feelings, that are beyond any I have experienced. A sense of crawling or pulsating skin, not sure how to explain that. A pain-sensation that goes through every bone all the way through my jaw bones to my skull. No advil touches it, making me guess its neurological which is scary but I’m keeping my cool. My right eye decided to bug and has ben blurry for two days making things more interesting.

So I finally got of bed, sat on my stool, made an omelet I really didn’t want and ate half of before popping a Zofran and then picked at it until all the eggs and cheese were gone. Then I went straight for the bath where I just played my love list and soaked the weird pains away.

Alana spent the night with a buddy last night, well, tried, she always comes home now, but she had a fantastic time and it gave me a chance to help Madison make a cheesecake. By far one of the hardest things I have every done. We had bought the stuff earlier that morning, but she was literally in my face while I laid on the couch in all explained above and every time I opened my eyes she was a foot away saying “come on! Lets make a cheesecake! Yeah! Come on!!” Finally, I did. I knew this was important to her and we made a cheesecake. She mostly. Sadly it was late, and it sits whole in my refrigerator now, just waiting to be tried. It’s completely different from how I make them, so we shall see if this is better.

Before all that we had a long day with an angel visitor that I think I could talk to for hours upon hours, and did, even though I was about to nap when she drove up. She is a precious giving soul that I won’t name or say, but will be forever grateful for.

That morning, Skip and I woke up on the couch, yes, the couch, and realized we didn’t have to be at the doctor for another hour. Good! We ate quick, got ready and got Madison to babysit. At the doctor, I explained to her everything plus more from above as it’s been off and on, and they say it’s a mix of radiation, chemo accumulation and neurological sounding things. Which is totally what you want to hear when you have leptomeningeal metastasis. That MRI won’t get here fast enough. I left with a “you have a lot of wax in the right ear” and “your blood counts like fantastic.” Fabulous, tell me again, why do I feel this bad? Nevermind. I remember. Funny thing is, with ALL of this, I take only 2 medications daily and usually add Ativan or Xanax to sleep at the end of the day with the occasional zophran pop. So I’m still the healthiest sick person you know. 

So we ended up on the couch because the night before because the radar was red, thunder was around, and it was spring break. Why not. Family campout in the living room! At one point it starts to hail and Madison says, “oh, they said up to golf ball size….” I think Skip and I went into total panic mode. WHAT??!! Of course, his car was outside because he was working on something. We destroyed the workspace and he pulled in. No golf balls that night but that’s good! We really don’t need to deal with roof damage at the moment. HAHA. I don’t really know how I slept, Battlefront was on until like 2AM, I heard Madison or Alana say, “underwear, crocs” in their sleep and laughed so hard. Other than being chilly it was fun and we made a fun memory.

Before that, we had decided when Skip finished work we would go on dates with our kids this week. Madison and I decieded to go shopping and Alana and Skip deciddei to check out the downtown Woodstock path. Lucky for Alana it ended right in front of Dunkin Donuts on 92. Super fun date for them, and for us too. He dropped us off at the top of the “hill” and we walked down, in and out of boutiques. It’s our thing. We went into Dress Up, a favorite and went into the fitting room with an armload of fun clothes and scored. Madison got some super cute outfits, I found a couple of keepers and out we went. Thankfully there was a chair in there and during check out I just sat on the bench. I gave Madison the card and waited for them to pack it all up. Too bad I asked the total after we left. HEHE. We may have let a few items behind, but then again, It was fun and I love spoiling my kids. I did make her use her own card at the next store and it was her first debit purchase! She was SO nervous, but we got her through it and she got a cute t-shirt that she wearily spent $10 on. Yep, that’s why mama loves clearance racks love.

We all grouped up and ate out at Pure. We were in a back corner and had a lovely meal. It was good and I still felt okay. Oh, how? One large cup of caffeinated coffee and three advil. I knew that would get me 2-3 hours tops, and it did exactly that. I may have walked slow and sat a lot, but by golly we didn’t bring my mommy stroller, I was SO determined.

I’m racking my brain for what we did before that. I’m thinking that was lay around in pajama day watching TV, playing on phones and electronics and OH, I do remember, we did TAXES. Painful and actually why I think my eye is blurry. It took us three hours and I actually felt pretty focused and okay. I usually do the taxes, had it down to an art, and then I’d show Skip for proofing. So this was hard. I couldn’t read half of the sections as reading just annoys my vision and hurts my head. Then seeing things like, “Is your spouse deceased” and other odd things, were evil. Couldn’t help but think I had to make sure Skip knew how to do it all while we worked on it. I’m sure he would be WAY more organized, but I do have every envelope back to the year we got married. Just who I am.

I’m pretty sure that catches my life up to date. I did have a God moment I didn’t write about that I will at some point, but my eyes are tired. Later.

Much love and grateful for so much support and love as always.