You Will Be My Squishy, Forever.

Today was port day and unfortunately 6:30 am came all to quick as I didn't sleep well. My stomach was pushing in all directions. I felt so ill and hurt all night. Then again, as I write that, being wiped out likely helped me stay calm as I got the dreaded IV. I'm usually a spaz and I didn't move. Ok. Blessing.

Skip came back and prayed over me (I'm pretty sure I looked bad) and then put some headphones in my ears to drown out the loudest hospital I've ever been in noise. Every time I got irritated I prayed for the loud people, but from the moment we walked in until leaving, for whatever reason, EVERY person was over the top. He put on some Toby Mac radio and I can't remember what song came on but I shared it with him. It was REALLY good. Tears ran down my face, God has this too. 

Thankfully, this port experience was night and day different from the last. My first one they gave me "loopy drugs" and I kid you not as I feel them cutting into me I'm like,"um, I am VERY aware of what is going on, not cool." After that, I don't remember a thing. Hehe. This time I really was loopy and though I felt things on and off, it may have been the first time that drug actually worked. 

I came back and met skip, got a little nap and then started getting my energy back. Finally I was feeling good and was ready to go!

Then a turn of events. We picked up Alana and at a stop light I had what I will dub as insta-nausea. Like from perfectly normal to OH NO I'm going to be sick. Threw the door open and it happened. Except I notice that it is massively flaked with fluorescent green pieces. I'm telling skip I need your phone while hanging out of the car door in the middle of riverstone blvd. I'm laughing now as that must've been hilarious. I need a pic of my puke!

With the partial bowel obstructions and how bad my night was, I just didn't want to assume anything and I can't tell you how weird that was. Alien puke! Ew. Doctor has since called and seems unconcerned and I'm feeling less nauseated after my ear-plugged, pillow-mania, awesome-sauce nap. So for now, we will blame it on the drugs. 

I know my days will be up and some will be down. I was blessed with a crazy up-stretch and am beyond thankful for those. I want this to be real, so I'm not complaining when I'm down, just recording. My body is fighting cancer and I can't even imagine what that looks like internally. But I am still confident that God is providing a miracle for us. I have faith I will be healed. May not be in my preferred timeline, but I just feel it's going to happen. 

Thanks for all who have texted, emailed, called and more. Sometimes I can't respond, and that honestly breaks my heart. Don't think I've ignored you, just some days I could live on my phone if I tried to respond to every one. But so you know, it makes me feel loved. It fills my heart to know you all are there. I love you all. 

So, to close out, one more thing marked off the list... Port, check!

Oh, and before I forget, my port's name is squishy. I woke up around 5 and thought ooooh, what will I name it this time!? And then Dory in Finding Nemo popped in my head. "I will name you squishy and you will be my squishy." 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lwGN73izZmw