Monday. My last "official" staff meeting at NorthStar. Bittersweet kind of morning because I had been there as a volunteer & on staff for a combination of 12 years doing graphics. It has been nothing but fantasticness working with some of the most amazing people I know.
God and I would have yearly conversations about am I still supposed to be here. Looking back, he always said yes, and seeing where my family has come from to where they are now, the love and support of our church family has been a huge encouragement to us all.
Pastor Mike had everyone tell stories about us working together and it was beautiful. I have so many amazing memories. There were definitely a few I've worked with super closely through the years that makes it really hard to say good bye.
When Mike got choked up it was over for me. The ugly cry came and he had everyone lay hands on me and pray. At the same time. The single most beautiful sound I have EVER heard in my life. It was angelic. I suppose it's the sound Jesus hears all day long. It would be heavenly.
And so, the day was over, and time to go.
I was sad.
But I had no time to mourn, my phone rang and the social security off has called me already! We end up on the phone for over an hour, talking about life and everything. God and his miracles. Scripture. At the end she said there was no way we wouldn't be approved and proceeded to explain the amount due. I asked her if she wanted to hear another miracle. "That amount is within dollars of what I was making." And the tears flow. All I can think of is, Provider.
"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." (Matthew 6:33 NIV)
I went home very up but very worn out. I called about the spinal tap and the downward spiral began. The flood gates opened and I let some fear in. I wanted to know more, it's my choice, and I began realizing that breast mets that breaches the spinal fluid is, well, worst case scenario. So I dwell until skip notices and then he makes me talk. It was consuming me.
Thankfully, we were starting Stronger. It s a bible study several of us are doing and talking about online in a private group. Skip is doing it too and it's opened us wide up for some amazing conversation. God showed me some great truths, relaxing me even more.
I slept through the night again and Tuesday rolled around. My appointment was made for Wednesday and suddenly the procedure didn't scare me, the results did. So what do I do? I start cooking and baking. Almost like a proof I could do it. I make banana bread loaf, muffins and chocolate doughnuts, juice for the day and egg salad. AND I cleaned all my dishes. I love to cook so it made my day!
Thankfully Victoria snatched me up when my house cleaning angel came and took me out on this amazing fall afternoon. Ate lunch outside and shopped the boutiques on the strip. It was lovely. And I could walk again!! It seems like things are shrinking because my belly is a 1/4 the size it was 3 weeks ago, the pain on my kidney is nearly non-existent, and just a feeling!
Last night we had a fabulous homemade gift dinner and then went on a little bike ride through the neighborhood. Somehow we went 3 miles!! It feels so good to be on a bike. I definitely don't have the balance I did, but letting off the brakes to fly down a hill is still so freeing.
We did day two of Stronger and had another great discussion. It makes me feel so close to skip. She gives some great thought provoking questions that really hit home where we are.
It's a gift to study and pray together. Something I love maybe more than anything...
That we wouldn't have had otherwise.
Closer is better.
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