Just Stuff

What a blessing it was to have mom and warren up for a few days to watch the kids when we weren’t there and just take care of things. We even got to shop a little on what I knew was about to be my only good day.

Thursday was it. Out of 21 days on and off of xeloda I got one. They added more Keppra to hopefully relieve some focal seizures, prednisone to help with pain swelling, I even got glasses to help with eye strain on the computer and phone usage. Alana thinks I look old, I think they look fun. I cant tell the difference at the moment but we shall see.

Yesterday I slept most of the day away. Thankfully I can attribute that to the Zometa dose on Wednesday. I’m already freaking out. Growing brain tumors I technically have to gauge by pain and side effects until the next MRI in 8 weeks unless Dr. Simon can work some magic with my insurance.

One of my LM sisters called in hospice yesterday, one of strongest people I’ve ever had the privilege of having in sisterhood. She endured more than I ever cold have. May her passing onto her next life be peaceful. It hit me hard today because I cant help but think that I’m next. My body has been through so much already, how in God’s name am I going to fight off another round of brain tumors? Especially when they have NO idea hoe fast they are growing. 8 weeks is a mighty long time.

OH wait I know, the only thing I want for Christmas, from Dr Santa Kesari! (Isn’t it funny that his name is SANTosh?) http://www.nascentbiotech.com/products/ Pritumumab. I’ve always said Dr. K holds the miracle for whatever reason. Just hope I’m alive to get it.

For the firts time in 15 months I have a feeling my doctors know there is nothing they’ll be able to do. I know the liver and bone already look better, I can feel it, but every day my brain gets a little worse. Guess we can’t dwell on it though a guesstimmate prognosis would be nice. I like dates to shoot for. This time it’s “that’s an impossible question to answer since youhave already overcome so may odds…”

So my current hope is 8 weeks and I’d love to take the family to Paris. It was always a dreamy graduation gift so who knows. Maybe another Christmas. Maybe another summer in Sarasota. Maybe my dream pool in the backyard, but then I stop. None of that stuff really matters. Today matters, and I am thanking God for each one that I wake up to.

“The morning brings me hope of your unfailing love for I put my trust in you.” Some scripture in Psalms. Lol

God bless your day.