A Story of Support

I had just received the phone call “I’m sorry. They found cancer cells in your spinal fluid again.” My heart was broken. I didn’t even know what to say. I texted, maybe vented to my dad and think that did some good because my chemo sisters were on their way and would be walking in any second.

They came in entertaining me with their war stories of the day, and then it was my turn, I had to tell them. Funny thing, they knew exactly what to say. They know, because they live it. We live the same nightmares and we live the same victories. I am thankful God made it just so happen that they showed up within 60 seconds of each other, completely unplanned.

They left and I immediately look at Skip. He climbs in my tiny hospital bed and I sob. I’m so angry, hurt, confused, and caught off guard. All I can think is “stupid.” I should’ve never let myself be so hopeful. I let my expectations get too high and now I’m going to die. Skip is calm and still positive and was encouraging me. How? How is he still so positive?

Then my phone buzzed. It was from a dear friend who I have not seen in years. Her vision for women and her leadership and guidance through my years as a growing Christian are things I will never forget. This woman holds an amazing piece of my heart. I have always admired her wisdom, love for the Lord and her vibrant spirit.

Her text was something about “support.” Remember, I’m in freak out mode. I yell, SUPPORT?!! How am I supposed to write about support?!! Where is MY support?!! I need support!! And then ever so perfectly and ever SO clearly I hear the words, “I lift my hands up to the Lord, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth.” I returned to instant peace. Oh Lord, you get me so well. It repeated over and over and over in my head. Madison says the only way to get a song out of your head is to listen to it, so we did.

It was not in my phone, so I bought it, turned on my speaker and Skip and I sat quietly listening to the words that the Lord poured into that hospital room. When you read or listen to the words you will know why I was humbled, quieted, sobbed and knew it no longer mattered. God was with me and I knew exactly how I was going to encourage others, and share with the world what support means to me. The words, enough to fill a book, flooded my head and haven’t stopped.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ype1xE0wzsg

I was sure by now
That You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away, stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say, Amen and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain, "I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls I raise my hands
And praise the God who gives and takes away

And I'll praise You in this storm and I will lift my hands
For You are who You are no matter where I am
And every tear I've cried You hold in Your hand
You never left my side and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry, You raised me up again
But my strength is almost gone
How can I carry on if I can't find You

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain, "I'm with you"
And as You mercy falls I raise my hands
And praise the God who gives and takes away

And I'll praise You in this storm and I will lift my hands
For You are who You are no matter where I am
And every tear I've cried You hold in Your hand
You never left my side and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

And I'll praise You in this storm and I will lift my hands
For You are who You are no matter where I am
And every tear I've cried You hold in Your hand
You never left my side and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

One of the funniest parts of this story was that when I actually read her text it was about writing an endorsement of support for the women’s league. I laughed so hard. We also find out that the cancer cells were actually suspicious cells but had thankfully led my doctor to running an MRI, which showed that my brain tumors were gone. A true miracle. We watched God show up and off all day.

I’m not sure anyone can deny this stuff or say it is all coincidence. It’s real and we are all witnessing it together. I know not every story has a happy ending, I actually hate those movies, but I do know there IS a happy ending. And when we trust God with our hearts and lives we will someday through the struggles and storms, see the span of eternity and the span of our lives and realize eternity is a far longer time. God promises an eternity in heaven for all who love him. I hope I get to live out eternity with this team God has put alongside us. Not guaranteed today or tomorrow, but we are guaranteed there is more. Keep praying. Keep searching.