A Team

When I think of the word team, I think of caring, working together, positivity, goals, and building one another up. I was on many teams in high school but I just don’t remember anyone on them acting like any one of us was better than the other. You try your best, and cheer one another on.

For me and teamnadine that gets a little warped because it’s centered around one person, me. You would not believe this, but I was super shy. I cried all the time. I was thinking recently about a girl I did not like at the time who yelled across during P.E. “why do you always cry, does your dad beat you or something?” I wished I would never see her again. Teamnadine was meant to encourage me, but also for an opportunity to spread my hope and love to others. So it’s just a different kind of team, but we are still out to win, pray and find others that need it too.

Then there are the teams I help with as a mom. I’ve coached and did it with the same goal, encourage these girls to do it, don’t give up, stay strong and be confident. Nobody is perfect at this, I’ll be the first to admit that! It is hard work to be the leader of a team, organize the chaos and bring everyone together.

I’ve also been a sideline mom. Being sick has shown me it’s okay to say yes to carpooling even though you can’t do it. It’s made me stronger and has pulled me off the couch wondering if it is the last game I’ll see. Being a sideline mom, can’t volunteer, can’t take as many pictures and cant make cheer album or spirit sticks for everyone on the team – breaks my heart. I’m making Madison’s through 12^th grade in case she makes it all the way through high school, her hope and dream.

Until yesterday, Halloween.

Let me tell you a story about how not to treat your team mates. You do not wait until the last game of the season to openly start talking bad about them or say mean things to their face. You should be there for your team off season as well as on. Do not be on a team for popularity reasons. You choose a team because you love your sport and you want to be part of something that will bring excitement and encouragement to everyone involved. Bad days are hard enough, messing up doesn’t mean you’re a failure, and you shouldn’t have to make excuses. A team is a team, not a bunch of little teams encapsulated into one.

Let me tell you a story. Our family thought it would be fun to shop this weekend for Halloween stuff. Typical webbing, a few cute Halloween headbands, and some other fun yard stuff. We’ve never been too big on Halloween, but now every day counts bigger than before. She got ready for school and was stunning. She did exotic make up to “dress up” for Halloween without meeting the criteria for “you can’t dress up at school on Halloween.” When she walked in people stared at her in disgust, rolled eyes, couple of smiles and then people she knew, team mates, broke her heart. “Oh baby, noooo,” was the nicest of the insults to others I cannot remember to the ultimate, “there’s nothing that’s ever gonna help you girl.” To where she ran off crying scrubbing her sensitive face with school soap and hot water, bawling. Other “friends” in the bathroom ignored her and went on with their days and their problems, leaving her confidence in the toilet.

When she got to class a sweet boy from her team looked over and asked why she was so upset. When she explained, he said that he thought she looked really good. Isn’t that funny. Is it jealousy? Lack of compassion? A desire to pick on people not as bold as you think you are? I’ve grown up. I’m not that shy, immature, unconfident girl anymore. Teaching it is hard and the damage that is done is done. Being a teenager is hard. Being a teenager who just became the most confident since elementary school, who finally stood up for what is right, was crushed. In the middle of all our family has been through, the amount of stress our life gives us daily, right after I have to tell my kids I have brain tumors and we cry, the last thing we need are mean team mates.

I felt the need to write this, not to single anyone out, or have the coaches ask for names because that only makes things worse. I wrote it because I want to raise our children to be strong and kind. To be positive even when it looks like the rain will never end. When a team is beating you 30 to nothing, that you can still cheer them on and give them hope. Team Nadine has shown me that for sure. When I’m feeling like I give up, I can’t because this team gives me hope. This team is why I’m here today. Let’s teach our children to be those friends, those teams.

Please do not pry or ask us who the children were. Lips are sealed.