Turtles

Yesterday was a day I’m still processing and I’m going to see if blogging helps me to put it into words. Kristin and I had been planning on her taking me to radiation Wednesday and then driving up to Ellijay to sit and soak in the peaceful surroundings fresh air. I just realized it was number 11, and we ALWAYS said as kids “11:11 make a wish!” We had a wishing spot that we now know was our prayer spot.

So it all started a with a little fun. Krisitn sees the coffee maker. It’s a little weird so I help her. (Not a Keurig) It has these little tab things and you have to put it in so it can brew. Well, I have it all figured out. We put the cup under and for some reason it has the TINY stream as its brewing shooting over the top of the cup. Then all of a sudden BAM the machine spoots the coffee like a gunshot and the cup goes flying! I’m almost in tears and trying to figure out HOW IN THE WORLD! We cleaned it up and moved along to my appointment.

You all must know by now about the crazy “no selfie with machinery without a signed consent and no posting on social media” from yesterdays blog. If you’re a #teamnadine facebook friend who has been approved, you’re in. But if you work for the Northside Hospital Photography Police, you’re booted. Sorry. Today, I think both girls rolled their eyes today and said they didn’t get in trouble and that no one will ever see it. They don’t know how famous I am!! I’m rolling as I write this. We laughed and moved on and I just finished up my PET and waiting on my ride!

Back to yesterday. We left radiation and headed to Ellijay via Waze and it wasn’t as far as I thought it would be, in fact, the drive was beautiful. We finally made it in town and decided to just walk around and check the ratings on these places. And there it was “egg salad sandwich” and “broccoli soup.” I think Kristin almost ran. Girl loves her some egg salad sandwiches. We went in and the owner Michael was a sweetheart, makes everything from scratch and just instantly fell in love with the place. “Backporch is the place.” Sandwiches, vegetarian paninis, and we even got a hummus plate that I would no joke, serve at a party it was so big and so fresh! 

 

We sat on the porch and crashed a picnic table another couple were finishing up at because of the shade and what a blessing it ended up being to sit with them. We both shared our crazies of the day (mine for the year) and just felt a sweet connection with them. If you’re reading this, welcome to #teamnadine! And thank you for the fun company. 

We left there and shopped. Do you know, as an adult, I have never shopped the downtown Ellijay shops?!! It was awesome. We found some cute things, a great paint and fire shop and and even better oil and vinegar shop. I stocked up on some small sample like sizes and I have recipes in my head for some salads that are going to be OUT OF THIS WORLD! Just some really neat infusions and flavors. I’ll post them on my cancer killing diet when I do!

After that, we headed to the house and I’m pretty sure I saw Kristin completely decompress when she saw the back yard. There is just something about the blue-green water up against the mountains and blue sky. It was as perfect as I always remember. We pulled some chairs out and just took a break. To this point Nadine has not had her daily nap, and I’m beginning to crash a little. We talked and sat and talked and sat, and then, there it was!! THE WHITE TURTLE! I have only seen it once before. I got as close to the edge, and the only thing stopping me from running around the lake and checking it out was the fact that it was hot. Snake season has begun. No more free hiking, so I just admired it’s awesomeness from afar. I am not sure how big it is, but it’s almost white (a little off white) and from where I stand it appears to be pretty large. I was SOOOOO excited.

We went inside and I showed her the time warp from where we started 5 years ago to now. It’s so funny to me that I was convinced we would have people up witihin a month or two to “have a tour de France party” and 5 years later, we’ve never done it. It was uninhabited for 4 years before we purchased it foreclosed, but we have had a blast working on it and renovating it through the years making it our own. It has a long way to go, but at least we are able to share it and stay there overnight without worrying if a snake is going to climb in bed with you! 

We started talked and we had mentioned baptizing her in this pond several times or at least in this area and she had asked me to baptize her. I prayed about what to pray and what to say and years of watching baptisms I felt God could help me along this and give me the power to do it. I also know some religions do not allow it, but I also remember my other best friend who offered to baptize Madison back when she was so scared and that it was okay. So out we went. Now first, we are setting up my camera, our phones, for pictures and video and let me say, we were failing.

“Do you think maybe God doesn’t want me to get baptized today?” “I don’t know, let’s pray.”

We got it figured out and now for the next step, into the water. Currently it is clear, beautiful and every step you take GIANT American tadpoles are fleeing the water’s edge. I grab a large stick that begins to break as I mash the ground with it. I felt like back when we would hike early in the morning walking with a stick in front of us swirling it in circles to knock down any spiders. Now it’s to small and I am out there. My feet are sinking I’m doing everything I can to be brave and I’m dragging Kristin with me! I feel the leaves and things getting into my shoes and at this point we are laughing harder than I can even explain. “Is this far enough!” OK. Let’s do this. She has chills all up and down her arms and I thought it was actually quite nice! “We hold hands I pray and say what I know to say and I had told her when to grab her nose. She did and I pushed her under. “Buried with Christ in his death, raised again with newness of life.” I do have to say, she had the funniest look and it made me smile so big! We hug and she asks if I was trying to drown her!!?? I was like, NO, I was trying to put you under the water!!!! I cannot stop smiling. My little angel sister I never had, and I’m pretty sure Max would agree upon sisterhood, just said no to the world and yes to God. No more in my control and giving it to Christ. New path new journey and peace above all else. We talked about it inside and I was just amazed at how already so wise she is. Yay for this day 3/3/16 and yay for my true sister in Christ. YEAH! 

 

So the sad part, maybe, she doesn’t have the video because the camera didn’t take it. We were so cold and laughing so hard that we were too far right and barely got any pictures. I was sad at first and then thought you know what, we have this forever, SHE has this forever. I know none of us are guaranteed tomorrow, but those laughs, that moment, if something happens to me, I guarantee she will be at so much more peace than she would’ve ever been in and she will hear those giggles forever.

We put on some music and I cuddled with my blankie and pillow and we headed home. Every now and then I would just burst out giggling. It was by far one of the best days of my life. We made it and I had energy!! A friend dropped off some Brooklyn Joes, the girls and Skip ate and went off to volleyball practice.

I on the other hand had things to do and my was I just ever thankful the entire time. I wanted to help Skip so I literally washed and folded 6 plus loads of laundry. I don’t put them away, but he knows, I am SO MUCH FASTER. IT was nice. I picked up the girls rooms and then I saw a package. OOOOH! I have more to do.

See, Skip’s dad and stepmother started a little thing a way back where they get the girls an ornament every year. When that stopped, I picked it up. It was SO very important to me and I always cherished those special pieces. When we were putting the ornaments away this year I told Madison, “please make sure you get ornaments for you and your sister if something happens to me.” Well, after talking to some pretty aweome friends who shared their struggles with losing their mamas at a very young age, one idea was Christmas ornaments. Except, I took it a little far. I’m literally buying and making and personalizing ornaments for as far as time will let me! I only have through 2018 at the moment, but each one has a little card and though I cry like a baby when I’m packing them up, it seems so very worth it to me and makes me so happy. I have them all in a bag with my “if something happens gifts” for all three. I have a cool one I have for Skip, but it’s not my “if something happens” I need WAY more quiet time and a place I can make it perfect, just the way I want it along with the perfect words so he can read it forever. 

It’s crazy, but I kind of think I’m going to have a miracle now, so part of my OCD is getting excited thinking, HA I’m going to be done with Christmas Ornament shopping for like 20 years! Lol. Or all the gifts I’ve been hoarding for family because it’s “just right” I need wrapping paper, because I’m going to be done by summer at this rate! It’s kind of fun if I don’t think too too much, then I cry, but I dearly love Christmas and I adore shopping and it’s just something making me feel at peace.

All that said, I have big plans to celelbrate my one year in Austrailia (where I WILL meet my chemo biking buddy) and then play in New Zealand. It was something we hoped to do this year, and changed it because my number one goal of all was to go out west here in the United States. I am sad I never got to meet my sweet LM sister in CA, because we wanted to, but I know we will meet again, and though all of this leptomeningeal junk, she is holding my hand and interceding. I feel it. My heart goes out to her family still and I think about her all the time. Someone who I literally spoke to verbally, once in my life. 

So I woke up this morning to more happy, peaceful texts from Kristin which MAKE my day, then she tells me she had a dream about the white turtle. She sends me this great thing about turtles and their symbolism and I’m floored. She described him as the “Father of the pond. Sacred.” “In my dream, I remember a sand bank. He came out of water onto sand. I lay down on my stomach staring at him in awe. His beauty. The details of him. Then I started rubbing petting his shell. He never moved or try to get away and then let me rub his head. 

Here are some of the turtle meanings I found, including of course meanings of paths... It's really cool:

 

Tonight I’m still thinking about her as I smell like old-ellijay, thank you new bath salt you smell horrible, BUT you reminded me of Krispy AND you took my muscle pain away, so okay, you make me smell like old house, but you have positives too.

This evening I became wiped out. We had a lovely dinner from the Watsons, played, we went shopping and are now all packed up and ready to leave for Universal after radiation tomorrow! We are all VERY excited to see Shawn Mendes! To se the looks on those girls faces is going to be another highlight in my entire life. I am so excited that I cannot even sleep on Ambien! HA! Going to sign off and try to sleep but wanted to finish this up from today. 

Me and my dad had lunch at Whole Foods which was amazing and enjoyed some good daddy daughter time! That’s always precious and grateful for our dates!!!

 

Think that is all. Again, NO results until Monday at 10:15 am and we are just praying everything is GONE or STABLE! No growth please. Lets keep doing good! I feel good!! Love my team!!

Yawning now, thank you for your endless prayers and notes. You are number one in this miracle…

Love Nadine

Three to go! 12/15! ..... Yeah!

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Nadine Wall
Graphic Designer
NorthStar Church
northstarchurch.org