Hezekaih

The second day of radiation awaits us. I’ve sat on the floor in a pile of prayer and mess. This is what verse God showed me today. It’s not in the section of miracles, and it isn’t popular, not sure I've ever read it:

“Some time later Hezekiah became deathly sick. The prophet Isaiah son of Amoz paid him a visit and said, “Put your affairs in order; you’re about to die—you haven’t long to live.”

^2-3 Hezekiah turned from Isaiah and faced God, praying:

Remember, O God, who I am, what I’ve done!
I’ve lived an honest life before you,
My heart’s been true and steady,
I’ve lived to please you; lived for your approval.

And then the tears flowed. Hezekiah wept.

^4-6 Isaiah, leaving, was not halfway across the courtyard when the word of God stopped him: “Go back and tell Hezekiah, prince of my people, ‘God’s word, Hezekiah! From the God of your ancestor David: I’ve listened to your prayer and I’ve observed your tears. I’m going to heal you.

It’s interesting because those are my thoughts some days. I don’t put affairs in order, but I do have a collection of things. Some are little cards I’ve written for the kids. I’ve collected yearly Christmas ornaments, and who knows what else. I’m far from done. But okay, put my affairs in order? They’re perfectly listed in a hidden blog post only my husband can find and access. I did, MONTHS ago don't gasp in amazement. 

I’ve prayed and prayed, and at the end God stopped him. He is listening to His tears and he IS going to heal. There are nights I lay there and think why would God ever choose me. But then how neat would it be – if I were to receive a true miracle – and could share it with others. We know my chances without God don’t exist, so Lord, selfishly, I will pray every day for a miracle. For me to be well. To me to beat cancer.