Funk must Go

It's only been two days but I don't think anyone, even myself, could not stand to be around my miserable self another second. You know you're having a bad time when all of a sudden you hear and read positive things but they don't even put a smile on your face? I was having one of those weeks. I was reading all of the amazing notes but staring at them thinking how can you believe God is doing something big!!? My doctor called yesterday afternoon and said, "are you ready for some good news!!?? Your spine looks fine." I should have been running around the table dancing like a maniac instead I grinned and continued thinking of nothing good. Thankfully I shared it on Facebook so you could all go nuts. I will. Promise. 

Me and God went to town in that MRI machine. A three hour scan and I just prayed. I just wasn't sure if he even loved me, and if I even loved him. It got close to the end and I told God I did want to love him, and that I would selfishly continue to pray for a miracle. We talked about how miracles can happen, so please make one happen. 

Craziest thing is, another one happened. Another miracle. Just under our noses! Though my back hurts and there's a little progression of disease in my spine, as far as LM is concerned, my spine is great! You could hear the celebration in Dr Simons voice. It's time for a good weekend! At the same time my husband got amazing work news and all I made was cheese teeth. We need to celebrate. Sadly I didn't even want to celebrate.  I was so very proud of him but the sickness of "I'm never going to be able to enjoy this with him" loomed over my head. 

We decided Ellijay. Now. It is that special place for me and that I always just tend to regroup and relax there like nowhere else. On the way up I received a message from a friend saying my story led this person to God, changing them so much and seeing Him work through their family and through losses of their own. I was so humbled. Amazed. I started crying and began to remember Him answering the "why question" so very long ago. It was a moment for me that I needed. I had to remember why God has me in the place he does. I don't always want to accept that I cannot control my time or my future, but I do have to remember to enjoy the days given to me. Thank you dear friend for reminding me that my life matters and you and all of the people surrounding us, your prayers and love is worth to us more than gold. Thank you. 

So last night was the first night I didn't cry myself to sleep. I went to bed at 11 pm and squinted my eyes around 6:30! It was unreal. I was once again waking up without a massive headache. I've continued to chill and take it easy. It's so peaceful. It was hard to give up my love for cooking and other things I would've done, but warm blueberry pancakes are awesome on a cold morning especially when you don't have to make them!

I truly found my happy. I got on the floor of my living room and prayed my miracle. I'm on plan C. So what!? It's time to show the world that superwoman is totally for real and my crazy big God is my power. 

"Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:31 NIV"

I hope you get to enjoy this beautiful day like I do. I may be too tired to run the hills but all is well with my soul. Don't miss it. Have fun and smile big. Love you more than words...

N