Marathon Tuesday

So we've been going since 5am. I'm sorry I have been. Because there is no such Sleep when you are on steroids. So I decided to take it slow, bath, cook breakfast, whatever and we would all be gloriously ready to go at 8:30. But oh, we are running late and the doctor reminder says 9. Whoops! We go anyway with a whopping 20 minutes to get there! Over an hour later we show up and serves us right we waited forever. So 12:30 is quickly approaching and we have to be at our casting call in 20. 

Visit went well. I had good questions with good answers that made sense. Juicing is a go for whatever I want. We talked a lot about alkaline and PH. Baking soda-maple syrup and apricot seeds. It was fantastic. And she agreed to the MRI checkup and then sending CDs to Northside for a follow up reading. Sweet. 

I felt great today again, assuming the crash and 48 hours after chemo to kick in here soon, but hoping not. We are going to try to taper off the steroid instead of dropping off. 

Back to our casting, I can't say where or what or whatever but it was on our bucket list this summer and I promised we would do one and it never happened!!

So when I got an email over SMUNIVERSAL weekend we freaked!! We were super excited and another day of school down the drain.

It was a VERY long day. Thankfully I brought a decent amount of food but still after about 8 I could see us allllll fading! My mom came too, skip dropped us off so he could catch up on work and we had a good time! Alana is now SUPER still excited to be in the movie industry and it was cool to see her still into it. She was a trooper and had a fabulous blooper I wish someone could get me because I heard it, but never saw it. 

I'll attach some pics from hair and make-up but can't release anything else!! I'm wiped but it was worth it. I'm proud of what they endured today as extras and know without a doubt those girls will be able to do whatever they put their heart to. 

I want to say so much more, but think we will have to wait a while... 

Day 1 after chemo 1 and still well! That's a praise in my book for SURE!

Good night!

Weekly Monday News

Chemo #1 starts today. 

Thank you for all the notes of encouragement and prayers already...

I'm super anxious, but feel really good. Slept decently. 

My chemo bag is all packed up and ready to go!

Prayer for good numbers, no reactions (we think I'm allergic to cortisone so asking dr to not give it with meds) and that my list of supplements are approved. Doing a ton "behind the scenes" that I want to know is working. Tumor markers to have fallen significantly in 3 weeks time. There is probably more I'm forgetting. Oh, that skip isn't getting sick. His throat has been bugging him since he changed the filters in the attic and he sounds bad now. Pray for the kids that they don't pick up any of the big ones. Strep, flu, virus, etc. we have a decontamination area at the front door and using OnGard which we all gagged over this morning but hear it works. 

I'll keep updating here today! Have a blessed week. Love you allllllll dearly. Even those I don't know.

Erin accessed my port and said I'd be seeing the PA and I flipped out. "I don't want to see her I want to see my doctor. She says stupid things." Yep. Angry, emotional me on prednisone and Keppra!! Whoop! I'm trying to stay positive and laugh, helping.

Okay so I had to see her anyway and I apologized in advance - though I really am not in love with her. So, I got all my questions answered and she was cool with alternative meds but encouraged me to stay on chemo if my tumor markers plummeted. (I'm thinking in my head if we start with a tumor marker which will come back in two days of 20, I think it would take an act of God for me to continue chemo) Apparently I am NOT getting cortisone today AND it was hydrocortisone in the past so my theory of being allergic to cortisone is wrong. Just the darn Depocyte. Fab! So we already know I'm NOT allergic to that drug so I'm a little more positive that I won't have a crazy reaction.

Happy thoughts. 

Found us a chair and now waiting to get all my premeds. Everyone is SO nice and SO understanding of my psychoness. Even Skip! Lol 💗 waiting.... Be back later!

I do want to say, and have went back to often since, I had a pretty intense, relaxing prayer/meditation with God this morning (we were even running late and I didn't care kind of relaxed) and the one word he gave me was HOPE. So #findinghope as always. #staypositive #miraclesdohappen

Trying hard! Thank you for all the prayers, positive vibes, hugs and kisses!

Fluid dripping, Ativan in, Benadryl dripping. Think they've decided enough is enough of this lady.

Holy smokes!! I just slept through my entire treatment!!!! I'm elated. Pass me out is the way to go when she is prednisone crazy!! Oh I so pray this round of new chemo doesn't give harsh effects! I had lunch for Skip. Poor guy!

Apparently my port gave them unhappy moments off and on but overall good. I feel GOOD! 

Buhahahahha skips thinking face was covering the 27 minutes left face!! Lol

Now it says done!!!!!

Finished out the day STRONG. We were able to seriously enjoy the evening with a little backyard ball because of two previous souls. A dinner fixer of tacos because we are all half taco, and a picker-upper. I wish I had a before and after picture. Bliss. Pure bliss and a little easier breathing for sure. Thank you.

Unbelievable but I feel awesome. At one point today, old normal! Pretty crazy. Got my juicer friend going to ridiculous lengths to keep us healthy and my potion maker keeping us safe, along with my last second sitter as we forgot about Alana!

Tomorrow we have another adventure planned that we can check off the bucket list but I can't say what... My kids are stoked because they get to miss school and meet Dr. Dunbar my nueroncologist too!

I'm feeling good and praying for sleep and no side effects and energy for tomorrow!!! Eek. I'll blog when I get the green light. 

I know, don't let the suspense ruin your day! Promise to share. 

XO thank you EVERYONE. Mega mega mega prayers from mega mega mega awesome souls. Still our number one most favorite gift. 

Such a beautiful evening with the kids and I was even good at volleyball again! It's the little things!!!

Alternative Additions

LOTS of things have been swirling my mind for the last couple of days, but I took a breather from my phone also. So, here we go…

I’ve been in touch with a new Facebook friend about LM and she is going to be in California the same time we are, just so happens. I’m hoping to meet her as she has defeated all odds over and over as well, but naturally.

All that afternoon I just kept thinking, you know, cancer loves sugar. Why not use sugar mixed with something that destroys cancer cells like a PET scan? It was just making sense.

So that evening at the Y during volleyball, Skip and I hung out at the tables while the girls had practice. We got a few hugs and saw some sweet people as they passed through, and then, this woman comes up. “Hi, I’m Lisa McRae, are you Nadine?” I know who she is, she’s the pastor’s wife at CFUMC! Cool. I had always heard a lot about how she changed her diet and does a lot of research on alternative cancer treatments. We talked about a TON of things we both do, but two new things, kind if three, stuck out to me.

First, apricot seeds. I’d been hunting down B17 capsules FOR DAYS as I had heard it is effective in cancer treatment, ESPECIALLY in bones. Guess what, B17 is Laetrile, and that is in apricot seeds. Well I’ll be! So I’ve already ordered them. My T7 on the scan that said it showed progression of disease most definitely is bothering me. Gotta kill this stuff. I’m eager for Monday, but also nervous. We cancelled our spring break trip to Mexico, sadly, but it is a good idea.

The second thing was maple syrup and baking soda. If you google that you will find endless stories of success, one apparently living right here in Canton who I met at a Walgreens one day. Kind of insane, and seeing as that I was pondering sugar and a cancer killer that morning, I just kind of contributed our meeting as a God meeting.

Then she explains how she was actually doing something else and wasn’t feeling that it was where she needed to be and left to go work out. It wasn’t her normal night and runs into us. The things that make you go “hmmm.”

We talked a lot about other foods, supplements, random things and then we came to water. Little backstory on my obsession with why I always questioned the water here. One day after my initial breast cancer diagnosis Skip and I were driving down from Ellijay and as we crossed over the Etowah river, (I know exactly still how it looked and how my head lie) and I heard “it’s in the water.”

I turned to Skip and go, “it’s in the water Skip! Cancer, it’s in the water.” I was a little freaked and he looked at me like I was partially insane and we’ve talked about it through the months of and on. We kept going back and forth this time with getting different kinds of alkaline filters or just filters, and never settled on one, and now I know why.

She begins to share with us some information of how high percentages of people with cancer live in the cluster of counties I grew up in and now live in. Like 5-7 of my neighbors including myself were diagnosed with breast cancer. I was at the lake every weekend, my brother almost died of some weird infection at lake Acworth WAY back when there was the slide, and we basically lived playing in the creeks. So we followed the rivers and such and the Etowah, which once flowed through a nuclear plant in the 50’s that was shut down, is our drinking water and flows to all these counties.

It’s a theory, I’m a conspiracy theorist with Skip all the way in MANY things, THIS blew my mind. So do your research and you decide, but for me, I’m disgusted with everything I’ve found thus far.

So, she tells me about this water she literally buys from another state and has it delivered and proceeds to explain that the white house ALSO got its drinking water from there, until Bush was in office and now gets it from Paris? What, you don’t want to drink the water in your own COUNTRY?!

Again, these are all theories and I didn’t confirm the above, but she’s done literally what sounded like hundreds of hours of research. I felt very blessed to have met up with her that evening and definitely felt that divine intervention.

THEN my other friend pops in with BC and we got to chat a little, but at that point Alana needed attention, she and skip were in compete conspiracy theory mode, and I was exhausted so we need another visit. I had been that entire day and later that evening realized it was probably a lack in protein. I wasn’t in the mood to make beans or quinoa so I resorted to a big juicy bunless cheeseburger at 9:00 at night, and actually woke up fairly alert for the first time in 24 hours.

The next day my dad and I had a super fantastic day and got a million things done on my to do list, while talking and driving around and finished up at R&M Hoagie shop in downtown Canton. All I will say is, WOW, awesome place to eat. I’ll be back for sure. (Oh, and I totally splurged on some veggie roast beef something awesome)

Still felt okay and really never crashed until it was around bed time. I slept okay. Still haven’t had a good sleep in a while, but I’m not really having the urge to get up and stay up. I woke up AGAIN with itching burning ears from radiation and texted my doctor. He said try Aquifor gently. Thing is, it ONLY hurts at night and when I wake up, then it’s gone ALL day. I tried and no relief but then I totally fell asleep until who knows when. Did my bath, ate lunch and now I’m here. I’m groggy today, but nice to have good ungroggy days inbetween.

And so finally, I had a fired up session this morning because my mother in law, one of my best friends ever, found herself in the hospital last night. I’m telling you all, prime example of WHY YOU ADVOCATE FOR YOURSELF, because they don’t know what is going on all of the time either! He told her some inflammation of rib (has a name) and I look it up for her and it’s something on the opposite side of where her pain is. I flipped out. I think everyone is probably grateful I shouldn't go near a hospital because I likely would not have made any new friends this morning. Anyway, she is sticking up for herself and asking for tests and things and now I’m less worried. I know it’ll all be okay, just got me going! Praying. Love you mama.

Gotta go! Alana home, but thought I would catch everyone up!

Big hugs and kisses.

WBRA done!

So I am done with radiation!!!!!!! I didn’t blog yesterday because it finally took a fatigue toll on me. I’d say it was the most tired I’ve ever been in my life, but that was actually coming home from the 24 Hours of Burn bike race, my first and only 5 person relay over 24 hours. I remember driving home and taking sips of burn and having the windows down to keep me awake! This was CLOSE! I think I laid in bed from 2:00 until dinner was brought (come back to that), we ate with my head barely able to hold itself up, took a bath and got in bed for movie night (come back to that too). Slept to 3ish and then my ears started up again and I slept off and on until it was time to get the kids up. I helped a little but Skip mostly got them off. I was too tired to stand! This is CRAZY. I was starting to wrack my brain of what I changed in my diet, etc. KNOWING good and well a long term side effect of WBRA is fatigue. Nadine cant play fatigue like this, super uncool. So I went and took another bath because everything was starting to bug and went back to bed. I took some high dose IBP and my ears chilled and everything pretty much went back to normal, other than the fatigue. It’s so pretty out too.

My other mom called me and said go sit in the back, enjoy the sun, grab your bible and rest. I was on the porch before we even got off the phone. I sat for a while until the neighbors fertilizing started and figured that would not be good for my system!

I prayed for a few dear friends today facing some wicked battles as well, and then dug in. Asked God to show me where I needed to look and ended up in the back of my bible. I heard rest but on my way to finding it, I also saw sickness. This is what I found first:

Delayed hope makes one sick at heart, but a fulfilled longing is a tree of life. Proverbs 13:12. Obviously HOPE grabbed my attention, but “tree of life” had signicficance and actually helped me understand what God was trying to say. My Kristin sent me a pic last night of this wall she redid and asked me what was the first thing I thought of when I saw the tree? I was like, I don’t know… I gave her a few things, but now, I’m like TREE OF LIFE! Her hope in God is fulfilled, and on a new journey. So cool.

The next verse I come across on rest is “Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body will also REST secure, because you will not abandon me to the dead, nor will you let your faithful one see decay. You make known to me the PATH OF LIFE (no joke); you will FILL ME WITH JOY in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand. Psalm 16:9-11

I don’t even need to explain it, but I DO need to go back to the dinner delivery. First, I didn’t look up to see who was coming because I was asleep. This sweet lady is at the door and brings in our meal. She was SO nice and I was SO out of it. She left me a card and headed out. “Let us Choose Joy and keep choosing it.” Yes. Joy. When I was diagnosed in 2013, my word was joy. I have no clue if she knew that, but joy I had found was a spiritual gift. It wasn’t something you could muster up on your own, it was 100% God. Being positive breeds it. I know that too. She explained her story through the card and having no connection other than signing up through a friends post, I was moved. It was the loveliest and perfectly planned meals with lots of veggies. But that is beside the point. Thank you, my unsigned friend. I didn’t look up your name because you didn’t sign the card. You blessed us so that night as we were all exhausted, my husband overwhelmed and kids just being kids. Sisters forever.

Now lets talk about Harry Potter. I ALWAYS said I would read the books and to this date, I’m not reading many more books. My eyes start blurring and it gives me a headache, so I agreed to the movies. We had a few gift cards left and got the set, so that’s our new family movie night go to for apparently a very long time. Because not only are the movies like 3 hours long, there are EIGHT of them!?? When did this happen! So we climbed into my bed and can I tell you the first 30 minutes was PURE excitement. “We went there!” “SO COOL!!! IT LOOKS THE SAME!” We all went on and on and wow, being in Harry Potter land so much recently, we were blown away! So for all you HP fans out there I now know why there are different color scarves, why Ollivanders always has a line and what Quitish is. Lol. We aren’t done with the movie, at the 2 hour mark I voted bed and we will finish tonight.

Other than the sleepiness, overwhelming amounts of work, the piling to-do list, we are awesome because the house is clean because of sweet michelle, and I honestly don’t care about to do lists anymore. Okay, that a lie. I love them, Wunderlist in particular, but feel less of a need to check them off. I now have a list called “walking out the door.” I know all of us know what it’s like to stop halfway up the stairs and go “what was I doing?” We have all been there. Now imagine it at least 10 times, probably 20 times a day. Thank you WBRA. I see your ugliness. So, when I think “I should grab the bla-bla-bla, I quickly add it to the phone and then when I actually walk out the door I check it all off! Brilliant, huh? Now you wanna do that?!!

Anwyay, I’m going to let my eyes rest. Sitting on my recliner thinking of what a perfect riding day it is. Boo. Maybe I’ll take a little walk. You know, sometimes, moving is EXACTLY what you need… Sometimes, it’s not. Let’s try it!

Have a happy Wednesday!!

Nadine

Chemo Monday 3/28 (little nervous)

Dr. Dunbar 3/29 (follow up)

Dr. Kesari 4/13 (insane excited)

The Twenty-First!

I did it!! I didn't call or harass my doctors for my results AND every time I saw a mychart email I got nervous to open it! 

I shaved my head last night (time 3) and it feels SOOO much better. I think the longer hair was pulling it and my scalp HURT. Now, it's fine!! Yay! Instead I got crazy ear itching and burning! Not sure I love the swap but after some pain killer this morning, we are good! 

Now I'm nervous! I know it's already done, plans are made, but dang, that's a big thing to go get! So. I'll just add to this for the day.... Stay tuned!

Day 14/15 DONE!!!!! One more! Getting my drops for my itchy burning ears too! Yay! 

Waiting at oncologist now... Heart beat, beat, beat, beat.... Gonna be good!

11:11 make a wish... Still waiting.⭐️

Getting port accessed and squirming.

That went well. Adding another porter to my list who is allowed to access. 

So..............

Just wanted you to know the PET looked worse but nothin like when we first saw her. Old lesions continue to get better or are stable, but new lesions popping up mainly in bones and liver. She was shocked I'm not in mega pain. Will head to see Dr. Kesari as soon as he gets back from his trip and ours. We hope to make the appointment today. Still plan to go to Mexico for spring break but we will start chemo before we go so it'll be after the 6th we go out. Start chemo Monday 3/28.

I think Skip and I having a "stable" and "worst case" pre planned helped so much. 

My awesome sauce nurse. 

My new regimen: do your research if that's your thing!!

So. I finally read the report and it's not as horrible as I expected it to be. Actually I've added a few smiling faces to it!! 1. Cancer is currently in my liver (not 40%), bones, spine and Leptomeninges (possibly not). There was no mention of brain mets only brain port!!!!! 2. Specifically says NO disease was found in abdomen, chest, neck, or ANY lymph nodes! This is HUGE. I've had a spot on my lung for 6 years. It's gone!!! So I HAD to share. 

I can't sleep!! Too much unsweet tea tonight with one of my good old BFFS Lauren. Had the best time catching up.💗love you. 

SMUNIVERSAL

Ok. So I’m going to take a shot at this. I’ve already realized this morning how bad my short term memory loss (STML) has gotten so I am so thankful for the gazillion and one photos and the endless chatter amongst the girls of all the stories and things he said and did last night.

We headed off with our FANTASTIC Shawn Universal shirts and 2 bags of clothing that we shoved into an all day locker. The day started out a little hairy as we found out riding a roller coaster for the first time, and then doing it again because it was so awesome, may not be the best of plans. Thankfully, I’m a pro at nausea now and we got it under control without detriment to the day. We rode rides (mostly them) and I trudged through the park. I wasn’t feeling it, I was weak and getting nervous I would not make it through the day.

We hung out in Harry Potter land for a LONG time and I’m not sure what possessed me to go into Ollivander’s Wand shop, maybe that there was no line for once, but we did. It actually has a little “production” before you go into the shop. Something I didn’t know. As we walked the back halls, every nook I saw I thought, and probably said out loud, “that’s a perfect sleeping place,” as I dreamt about a little sleeping bag so I could curl up and go to sleep.” We make it into the little room and the lady makes a little spot for Alana to go to the front to watch. Except when everyone is in, she goes right up to her and says I’m not sure exactly, but something like, “I feel the presence of magic with you… your eyes… yes, please come with me.” Then selected another girl. From here I have all the audio, I won’t spoil it for those who haven’t been but at the very end she said the wand for her was Vine. “The vine chooses someone who is ambitious, inspirational, very strong, and is useful for prosperity, healing, and protection.” Well I’m fighting tears at this point. We walk out of the room and I’m already looking to find where we buy the wand! It could have been a $500 wand and it was going home with her! She asked if she could have it, and I had her promise to read the books, and I want to with her. Funny thing, I’ve never seen a movie or read a book, but I’m intrigued.

The girls ran off and played with their wands and Skip and I nearly fell asleep on a bench. I was near done at this point. We walked out and I had to, we went to Starbucks. I’d given up Starbucks for lent, but justified it in the fact that I have not had an iced coffee either, so I ordered a venti hot coffee. It was chilly as it had rained most of the morning. I found an apartment stoop and sent everyone off to ride Transformers. I laid all the plastic ponchos down (Skip has posted this lovely image on FB) and curled up with all of our things.

Ella eventually came and sat with me and the others ran for one last ride on the Rocket Roller Coaster and we laughed and talked and hung out. I’m so proud of these kids and just so grateful for her years of friendship with Madison. I know they were not all perfect, are they ever with girl friends? We see the girls sprinting around the corner, it’s after 6:00, our predetermined “get ready time!” So we head over to the lockers, grab our things and literally take over the public bathroom. Thankfully there is a little counter. The image still makes me giggle, people must have thought we were INSANE. Hair, makeup, dresses, perfume, we are ready. They looked awesome and we start walking to our destination.

One of the universal stilt people said, “hey Shawn is over there in gray! Go meet him!” I was like, oh, yeah, I see him. Madison was like, “um no mom, that is NOT Shawn Mendes!!” Are you sure? Death look I tell you. She said, “MOM!!!???!” I don’t know, he could’ve lightened his hair? We keep on going regardless, and I now know this is DEFINITELY not even CLOSE to him. No one could imposter this guy and really, why would you!!?? How weird.

We get in line with about 20 other people and the nerves are rolling. Alana is nearly ready to explode and the girls are nervous. You can see it. I make instant friends with three super cool guys from Florida just getting a cool meet-n-greet through a buddy. Why not!? A universal rep comes by and starts asking names, and when she gets to us, we get pulled aside. Apparently we are going to the end of the line. Huh?

They start letting people into the studio and its pretty quiet, dark and the Universal-Mendes background is lit. People are cycling through pretty quickly, grabbing their picture with Shawn and as we get closer it’s getting more exciting and the girls look like they are going to pass out. To calm nerves I just huddle them and start praying. Deep breaths, I’d been saying it for an hour, he’s a normal everyday friend. Have fun.

It’s our turn and a sweet worker says she will use my phone and video the entire thing for me. I promised to keep it for me because I would probably forget what was said within the hour and especially for my kids to look back on. Everyone is gone and we are left. Shawn full on begins introducing himself to everyone. We meet and hug and he asks for the birthday girl and when he sees her he thought she looked familiar. Madison was likely caving at this point because he asks how old she’s turning and there is no response, so I ask and she says 13. Then he goes into this entire deal about her flowered headband and this has been a huge subject of conversation ever since.

We went through chatting, taking pictures and laughing. One of my favorites was when we almost forgot a picture with Skip and he shows his Shawn shirt to him. But the best was when he accepted a TEAM NADINE bracelet. Madison had two on her wrist. Her original and her replacement. At some point she had lost the original and then found it, so she wears two. She gave him number 1. He said the last one he got he wore until the words rubbed off and broke and still has it. Tears are trying at this point but we are smiling! This is SO FUN.

Then something big happened, and I hear do we have something to autograph for them? We had been told in line, that there wouldn’t be any, so I’m totally caught off guard, apparently they do! We walk out the back and by this point the kids are all walking with Shawn in this adorable little side by side line talking. I have no idea what they are saying but I am FIGHTING the tears. This is SO awesome and EXACTLY what I dreamed about. They told me later their conversations and I’ll tell you, his just total coolness and just being like an older friend truly spoke volumes to them. It’s all they can talk about and I couldn’t agree more. I’m so impressed I don’t even have words to say how truly blown away I was by this teenager. I have watched very few grow up of this caliber.

He sits and starts signing autographs and I’m just soaking it in. Apparently I didn’t hear half of what he said because the girls were talking about things I have zero recollection of him saying. It was precious. Everyone else standing around got tuned out. I couldn’t believe this moment. Then I get my phone back and what does Nadine need? You guessed it, a selfie!! And he obliged! Except he took the phone from me and apparently is a master pro at selfie taking. It reminded me of Madison because she does the same thing! Let me mom! Difference was he went to the other girls and it took MAYBE 10 seconds max. I’ve never seen anything like it! Precious AND impressive! I need to step up my game or get lessons!!

We said our goodbyes and he hurried off. He took way longer with us than I would’ve ever dreamed less than an hour from his show and as a hard worker, that too meant a lot. He never acted like we were an inconvenience or anything.

We were escorted to a great spot. You know, my plan originally had been to camp out all day so we could have front row, before this all came together. I had it ALL planned out, but this, this was SOOOOO much better. So we all huddled into the corner of this area and he comes on and I look and he is wearing the TEAM NADINE bracelet. I cried from then on, I literally could not stop. He began with “Something Big.” I’m pretty sure I’ve posted the lyrics more than once with all of the miracles we’ve experienced, “Something big I feel it happenin’, outta my control…” one of my favorite songs, and OH wow. Way more awesome in person. Unreal to be exact!!

All his songs I usually just sing along with in the car, and know many are love songs, but for some reason the words last night were piercing my heart. “Take a piece of my heart, and make it all your own, so when we are apart, we will never be alone.” Go ahead, cry. Because I can’t see the keyboard anymore.

Whew. OKAY. I’m back. Maybe only for a minute. I just kept loving on my girls. Hugs, singing into each others eyes, screaming girly screams, holding hands and of course inbetween being held by my Skip. Alana kept reaching her hand out to clear my eyes. “…love it when you look at me like that…when I’m with you I feel better” just more words that are playing on our drive home that I know where peircers.

Then, it’s waterfalls. “Turns out that no one else can replace me, I’m permanent you can’t erase me, I’ll have you remember me, one more kiss is all it takes, I’ll leave you with the memory...” are you kidding?!! I’ve heard these lyrics more times than I can count on all my fingers and toes and I’m not sure if it was just God letting me know that we are doing the right thing by making the best memories ever, or what, but these were the most powerful of them all. I’m wondering to myself, are these the biggest memories because God isn’t going to pull me through this? If not, this song needs to be playing when I die. OR is my family to be an inspiration to truly remind people to go all out, enjoy life, love the little moments and the big ones. Look at every day differently and don’t waste time. I don’t know, I truly feel a miracle is near, but I know for sure if it’s not in His will, this will be at the top of the “coolest things ever done with mom.” It was my “make-a-wish” and TEAM NADINE made it happen. You rock. Those who made it happen and those who prayed my health to here!

There are people I won’t name who made this a reality and I just need to thank them. There were a TON of people who tried for us, and for that I am so thankful. Truly. The three who created what is being termed by the kids as “THE BEST DAY EVER” I won’t be able to say enough thank you’s. Just know you blessed me and my family in ways that I will NEVER be able to explain. There’s so much I cannot put into words that happened last night that were just for me and them. Thank you for being on our team and excited for ALL the new members we got last night. The more, the better chance we have at fighting this! I can’t do it on my own, and just uber grateful for you all.

Thank you.

Now, deep breath!

Tomorrow at 10:30 we get PET results and moving on to the next step! So team get ready… I’ll post after I share with family. XOXO.