Weekly Monday News 10/12

Currently I've completed 2/6 doses of systemic chemotherapy and doing fantastic! Hardly any side effects and overall feel 100x better than I did a month ago at diagnosis. It is working! The cancer outside my brain is shrinking into an oblivion. I can feel it.

I have an appointment with a triple doctor recommended neurosurgeon tomorrow at 10:45am to discuss treatment options for the CSF. This is typically done by inserting chemo through lumbar puncture 1-2 times to make sure you don't have a reaction and then a port is placed in your brain for easier access.

I am having pretty constant head pressure from the CSF involvement along with light and sound sensitivity. It's not all the time but happens occasionally and it's super scary. I feel every heartbeat and every weird feeling. Like I'm overly sensitive to every nueron in my body. It's a really bizarre feeling. No pain, just odd feelings. 

I have blood work Thursday morning to check my blood levels and vitals. That we of course want to go beautifully with good numbers. 

In summary, we should know more tomorrow about the treatment plan and if we decide to do it. The risks and benefits are not much different except you are prolonging the inevitable. The side effects from the chemo itself isn't much of anything, the deterioration from the cancer cells however is just a slower progression. How long do I want to suffer for becomes the biggest question. Will there be any quality of life from doing this since we know it doesn't cure it? Just a few of the million questions I have for this doctor tomorrow. Hoping to find some hope and answers when we meet him.

It's a ton to think and pray about, too much to process. God gave us some crazy peace this morning after melting down uncontrollably. It's a gift and a curse. When we lose people we just beg and plead wishing we had one more day. We get that, today we got another day. We all do. Every person reading this. So doing our best to love and live every day, letting time just slow down for a bit. I want just one more day and I'll be thankful for each additional I wake up to from there. 

Don't miss it guys. Show love to everyone you intersect your life with today and slow down. There's something beautiful just in front of you. Soak it up and smile. 

Nadine.