It’s amazing how far in either direction you can go as far
as your emotional well-being is concerned.
This weekend was my birthday, and as it approached, it just
happened to be some of my hardest days yet. And then it arrived. It was
non-stop greatness, filled with surprises (I struggle with those a bit), but
overall, my people went 200% over and beyond what they should’ve.
Saturday started with an amazing Pink out at the 7th
grade Junior Chiefs game. When I read pink out, and agreed to pink out, I’m
thinking, the parents get dressed up in pink like Friday night HS ball. We arrived and my friends and cheer moms went
all out. The girls were decked out in pink shirts, coordinated to say
“#findinghope 4 Nadine” on the backs, along with pink pom poms and a happy
birthday song. It was such a bright
cheery site and I felt very lucky to have woken up that day, for the first in
four, able to get up and ready. The time and energy these ladies put into
making this happen, whoever you may be, you are amazing.
Saturday night we decided to take a last minute trip to
Berry Patch farms! Momma had some energy and these girls had to have their very
own pumpkin! We got there 30 minutes before closing, which happened to be a
blessing, because EVERYONE was leaving!! We had to patch to ourselves, the
hayride to ourselves, and had a ball. We found an only lonely pumpkin which we
adopted along with four others and then picked our two monsters. Of course we
took a zillion photos and just overall had a super time. I even “ran” through
the field. That would be a first in over a month.
Sunday morning we decided to invite a few girlfriends over
to watch church as there was another surprise. Some time a little over a month
ago, Laurie was contacted to give her testimony and how our lives intersected.
Holy smokes. Had I not had a head full of stitches I likely would’ve been in a
pile of ugly, ugly cry, but I held back my tears as I could feel my head
wanting to explode. I’d heard her story before, but this was beautifully done.
Very proud of my sweet friend, getting up there and telling the world how her
love for Jesus is real and how it all started because she got invited to a
bible study. Warms my heart and so glad to do life with my sister in Christ.
Then these crazy girls gave me gifts. Blew me away.
Seriously, the gift of presence was enough!! A bunch of them got together and
bought me a Silhuoette Cameo which I’ve been dying for! Crafting mama is about
to go crazy! Cannot wait!!! Then I got a crazy thought out gift. Amber, my BF
since 8, gave me the sweetest bag of stuff all linked to memories from our
child hood. I won’t even go into detail, but when I saw the bag of cocounut,
again, I had to do everything to ward off the ugly cry. I think people dropped
off gifts literally hourly, the most unbelievable thing I’ve ever seen. I have
by far THE most giving loving people in my life, hands down, the most generous
friends ever. From pumpkins stuffed with jammies, to UP balloons tied to trees,
to gift cards and some of the sweetest hand written notes, to head wraps, and
voodoo dolls, to pillows and awesome tshirts, to bouquets and bouquts of
flowers, to amazing cupcakes and treats, you all made this birthday, the best.
But, it wasn’t over!! Now it was time for my family to come!
My parents cooked some traditional Jewish food from my childhood. I have been
CRAVING matza ball soup like mad for over a week and it was SOOOOO amazing!!
Skip bought a “Million Dollar Cake” from Alpine Bakery and if you are ever
struggling on which to buy, THAT my friends is it. I think it is the first time
EVER, we do not have any cake left after 1 day. Brownie bottom, cheesecake
middle, chocolate mousse top, layered with ganache. Um, YES PLEASE!!!!! Delish.
But now, I am done with sugar, because I have been super naughty and must get
back onto cancer killing diet!
We had a blast, I even played a game of volleyball!! Wha
Wha!!!??? Yep. I played and it made me SOOO happy. We all gathered in a circle
to pray over our dinner and when we were done, Isla’s little smile made me
think, “Ring around the Rosie!” So because I get to do pretty much anything I
want, I made everyone play ring around the rosie. Yes, I did. EVERYONE. We spun
in a circle in my yard and we all fell down. I’ve never giggled so hard in my
life with tears of laughter squirting out of my eyes! Not on video, no picture,
but I’m telling you, it may have been the single coolest family moment of my
life. Something I’m sure none of us will ever forget.
The night finished up beuaitfully, and everyone went on
their merry ways. I slept well, and got back onto my 5:00AM routine. I didn’t
fel amazing, but I was alive. And then, it happened. For whatever reason, those
thoughts of “what if that was the last game I ever see” and “I can’t imagine,
what if that was my last birthday” came tearing through like a freight train.
Typically, they do just that, but apparently the enemy set up a station and I
got stuck. Skip and I decided to take a walk and get out for a while. I talked,
expressed my funk, and we figured it was just the low after big long weekend.
Unfortunately, it kept on and by the time I woke up this
morning, it took him hours to get me out of bed. I had a 3AM insomnia attack
where my brain just spun out of control. I battled it with prayer, scripture,
anything, and it wouldn’t shut up. Around 5:30, just before the kids awoke, I
fell asleep. Choas began quick;y in my house of oversleeping people and onec
they were all out, again, the quiet, brain crushing thoughts returned. Finally
Skip was ready for the day and took greater interest in getting me out of bed.
I’m not sure if it was prayers by then, but that man showed strength that at
this point encourages me. He was awesome. Through my funk, he stayed rock solid.
He finally said he was going to drag me out of bed, and he pretty much did just
that.
We left the house early in hopes to hit Traders Joes, and
there starts the story on my IT chemo #2, to be a seprate story all together.
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