Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Things We Did on my Birthday

It’s amazing how far in either direction you can go as far as your emotional well-being is concerned.

This weekend was my birthday, and as it approached, it just happened to be some of my hardest days yet. And then it arrived. It was non-stop greatness, filled with surprises (I struggle with those a bit), but overall, my people went 200% over and beyond what they should’ve.

Saturday started with an amazing Pink out at the 7th grade Junior Chiefs game. When I read pink out, and agreed to pink out, I’m thinking, the parents get dressed up in pink like Friday night HS ball.  We arrived and my friends and cheer moms went all out. The girls were decked out in pink shirts, coordinated to say “#findinghope 4 Nadine” on the backs, along with pink pom poms and a happy birthday song.  It was such a bright cheery site and I felt very lucky to have woken up that day, for the first in four, able to get up and ready. The time and energy these ladies put into making this happen, whoever you may be, you are amazing.

Saturday night we decided to take a last minute trip to Berry Patch farms! Momma had some energy and these girls had to have their very own pumpkin! We got there 30 minutes before closing, which happened to be a blessing, because EVERYONE was leaving!! We had to patch to ourselves, the hayride to ourselves, and had a ball. We found an only lonely pumpkin which we adopted along with four others and then picked our two monsters. Of course we took a zillion photos and just overall had a super time. I even “ran” through the field. That would be a first in over a month.

Sunday morning we decided to invite a few girlfriends over to watch church as there was another surprise. Some time a little over a month ago, Laurie was contacted to give her testimony and how our lives intersected. Holy smokes. Had I not had a head full of stitches I likely would’ve been in a pile of ugly, ugly cry, but I held back my tears as I could feel my head wanting to explode. I’d heard her story before, but this was beautifully done. Very proud of my sweet friend, getting up there and telling the world how her love for Jesus is real and how it all started because she got invited to a bible study. Warms my heart and so glad to do life with my sister in Christ.

Then these crazy girls gave me gifts. Blew me away. Seriously, the gift of presence was enough!! A bunch of them got together and bought me a Silhuoette Cameo which I’ve been dying for! Crafting mama is about to go crazy! Cannot wait!!! Then I got a crazy thought out gift. Amber, my BF since 8, gave me the sweetest bag of stuff all linked to memories from our child hood. I won’t even go into detail, but when I saw the bag of cocounut, again, I had to do everything to ward off the ugly cry. I think people dropped off gifts literally hourly, the most unbelievable thing I’ve ever seen. I have by far THE most giving loving people in my life, hands down, the most generous friends ever. From pumpkins stuffed with jammies, to UP balloons tied to trees, to gift cards and some of the sweetest hand written notes, to head wraps, and voodoo dolls, to pillows and awesome tshirts, to bouquets and bouquts of flowers, to amazing cupcakes and treats, you all made this birthday, the best.
But, it wasn’t over!! Now it was time for my family to come! My parents cooked some traditional Jewish food from my childhood. I have been CRAVING matza ball soup like mad for over a week and it was SOOOOO amazing!! Skip bought a “Million Dollar Cake” from Alpine Bakery and if you are ever struggling on which to buy, THAT my friends is it. I think it is the first time EVER, we do not have any cake left after 1 day. Brownie bottom, cheesecake middle, chocolate mousse top, layered with ganache. Um, YES PLEASE!!!!! Delish. But now, I am done with sugar, because I have been super naughty and must get back onto cancer killing diet!

We had a blast, I even played a game of volleyball!! Wha Wha!!!??? Yep. I played and it made me SOOO happy. We all gathered in a circle to pray over our dinner and when we were done, Isla’s little smile made me think, “Ring around the Rosie!” So because I get to do pretty much anything I want, I made everyone play ring around the rosie. Yes, I did. EVERYONE. We spun in a circle in my yard and we all fell down. I’ve never giggled so hard in my life with tears of laughter squirting out of my eyes! Not on video, no picture, but I’m telling you, it may have been the single coolest family moment of my life. Something I’m sure none of us will ever forget.

The night finished up beuaitfully, and everyone went on their merry ways. I slept well, and got back onto my 5:00AM routine. I didn’t fel amazing, but I was alive. And then, it happened. For whatever reason, those thoughts of “what if that was the last game I ever see” and “I can’t imagine, what if that was my last birthday” came tearing through like a freight train. Typically, they do just that, but apparently the enemy set up a station and I got stuck. Skip and I decided to take a walk and get out for a while. I talked, expressed my funk, and we figured it was just the low after big long weekend.

Unfortunately, it kept on and by the time I woke up this morning, it took him hours to get me out of bed. I had a 3AM insomnia attack where my brain just spun out of control. I battled it with prayer, scripture, anything, and it wouldn’t shut up. Around 5:30, just before the kids awoke, I fell asleep. Choas began quick;y in my house of oversleeping people and onec they were all out, again, the quiet, brain crushing thoughts returned. Finally Skip was ready for the day and took greater interest in getting me out of bed. I’m not sure if it was prayers by then, but that man showed strength that at this point encourages me. He was awesome. Through my funk, he stayed rock solid. He finally said he was going to drag me out of bed, and he pretty much did just that.

We left the house early in hopes to hit Traders Joes, and there starts the story on my IT chemo #2, to be a seprate story all together.


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