Happy MD Anderson Day!

I awoke Thursday morning after another short 5 hours of sleep. I’m not complaining as I am sleeping pretty good finally, I just know 5 hour nights are going to have to catch up with me sooner or later. Regardless, I awoke to a message on my phone from a sweet friend that said, “Happy MD Anderson Day!” I was like, YAY! I LOVE that! It was time and I think the excitement is what has kept me going.

We went down to the hotel breakfast and thank goodness for The Best Western breakfast. It was all brown, and all wha tI could eat. (I’ve had another 5 hour night and my stomach is growling as I write this!) mmmm, breakfast!!!! Focus!

Okay. So first, our Starbucks adventure. Apparently there are only big parking garages. So Skip literally threw me out of the car while driving down the road so I could run in and get Starbucks. Okay, maybe not that dramatic, but it was fun. I sat out in the shade of a tree and awaited his return. It worked out and everyone got hydrated for the day!

We followed the directions given and we were to go to the big SEVEN entrance. I like to think seven rhymes with heaven, so it was our lucky number. We pull in. "Valet lot full. Park in 5.” No!!!! Skip was about to drive away and I saw this ever so cute valet girl walking back, rolled my window down, “is valet really full?” She gave me the biggest smile and said, aw, no, you can pull in! Skip ends up backing into the valet drive at like mock 7 speed and she is dying laughing saying you shouldn’t do that!! So we decided she wouldn’t forget us now, and even if they were full, she would have to let us in. I proudly explained this was our first day and felt like we already made a friend.

We followed the written directions still and so far they are lovely. Have I mentioned I have walked on my own everywhere, through the hotel, and back, in the hospital, without a wheelchair to this point? Oh, yes, I did! Well, at least for another couple of minutes, then I determined I had exhausted my walking for the day. But hey, that alone was a huge blessing!! (I actually woke up a little ‘work-out sore’ in the middle of the night) Sorry, distractions.

We make it into the Breast Center and it’s so nice. everything is beautifully laid out, giant windows everywhere, aquariums, peaceful, comfortable seating and ottomans like you were in a giant living room. Blew Emory out of the water. I was ecstatic. We checked in officially with business admin and then she walked us to the other side, it was the same! Huge and comfortable. Oh, and they don’t call names. It’s so personal. They write descriptions of what you are wearing when you come in so they can go at and personally greet you. It’s AWESOME.

We finally get to go back and met 3 awesome nurses right off. We are chatting about everything under the sun. Especially my pants and my boots. I was told I looked like I was from Colorado. I’m not quite sure how to take that having never been there, but pretty sure I’d love the place. I did explain how for whatever reason, my Keen boots are amazing and are pretty much the only things that I can walk in through all of this. She actually took a note and said she would recommend that for patients! Great idea! So maybe we helped someone else, who knows!

We finally get into the room. A nurse comes in and we do a little more chit chat and then she said the NP and then Dr. Booser would be in. I snuggled on the bench, at this point I’m getting a little tired and wanted to save my energy for the grand entrance. He comes in, “Hi! I’m Dr. Booser.” Shakes hands and I of course HAVE to have a hug. You cannot be my doctor if you don’t give hugs. hehe. And so it begins…

The very first sentence out of his mouth is, “I’m not really sure why you are here. I’ve looked over some things and was hoping to save you a trip, but it was too late.” WHAT!!!??? That is NOT how this needed to start, but he goes along and starts the most thorough background review I have ever seen. He literally pulled my notes for SIX YEARS. Everything was written down. There were things I didn’t even remember!!! I was in awe. We talked about MANY of those things in great detail and when he was done he seemed a bit more intrigued. He told us to go out for a couple of hours, that he wanted to review all of the images we brought on CD and to return at 4:00. 

So we left. At this point it’s been all review and the only thing I cannot get out of my head is his first liner, well, and the fact that he is my grandpa bow. My grandfather passed several years ago from cancer. He was different. Not many like him in the way he talked, his looks, his mannerisms. He was super special to me and this was a very strange thing happening. Because I’m trying to focus on what he is saying, but I’m thinking whoa, this is CRAZY!

Skip and I decided we need to get some fresh air. We found a Chipotle about a half mile away and decided to walk it. Well, he walk and I ride it. It was fun for me! I think it was him too, other than him hot and sweaty. We ate a fabulous lunch, and headed back. We were about an hour early so we found this awesome patio n the north side of the building, shaded, breezy and with the most comfortable adirondack chairs and adirondack ottomans EVER. And the best part, we had it ALL to ourselves. We pulled them up to the edge over looking the town. It was an hour of awesomeness. 

I get a phone call from the social worker and she is confused on where we are and says we should probably come back. That they didn’t realize I was coming back. I love when doctors make the schedule and don’t tell anyone. Makes me laugh. So we head back up and Mary came out to talk for a while. She wanted to make sure we were doing well mentally and that she had some amazing resources and tools for parents to communicate with their children. (I have a cool story I’ll blog one day about on of ours.) I told her our three times we have talked with our kids and I think she determined if we needed her to call, and she would walk us through the tool kit. Honestly, I wish we were staying longer because it sounds awesome, and I’ll NEVER forget the AWFUL book I got from Northside when I was first diagnosed with breast cancer. It was the worst childrens book EVER and I swore I would write a few to redeem it. (Yes, I need to get on that now that I have all of this free time.)

Okay, back to the story. We finally get to go back. Don’t you love it that the second someone goes to the bathroom, they always call? But they are so patient, whatever. We can wait all day kind of attitude. LOVE! So we went back and after a little while of blogging and waiting, Dr. Booser comes back in. 

He has reviewed everything and has determined that what we are doing is exactly what we need to be doing. He would probably push for a few extra weeks of Adriamyacin and was very blown away on how good I did on my first treatment. Said it can affect the heart as we all know, but he started spitting out a ridiculous spew of numbers and stats and said he thought I could do well on 6 doses. Then he said something and I literally took a double take. I’m not sure what it was, I cannot remember, but I am telling you, it sounded EXACTLY like my grandfather and I zoned out for a minute. So weird. SO weird. Zone back in Nadine. He proceeded to answer some of my questions and one of them had to be what if this doesn’t work. He assured me their were other drugs and such but he warned, very sternly, “but the liver has to respond to this treatment. If it doesn’t we are in deep trouble.” Okay. Holy moly. Kind of put a little pressure on the chemo, and dang it, a little fear crept in.

He continued on about the brain mets and he would be contacting neuro-raditation oncology for their opinion on the most recent scans and results. He is assuming that the treatment plan will stay as is, but they meet every Friday at 1 for cases needing to be discussed and he wanted to make sure if needed, that was an option for us. He said regardless, you don’t need to be here for that. You can go home.

Excuse me? Home, are you sure? Holy smokes. So, we are doing what we are supposed to be doing, I’m not freaked out wondering if my liver is responding, I just sat for several hours of my day feeling like I was talking to my grandfather, and now you want to send me home. Hm. I’m not sure I can process all of this.

So Skip and I walked out to another patio. I just fell apart. We sat there and prayed for a while and started talking about our experiences. The first, Skip had the EXACT same moment, wasn’t sure what it was he said, but 100% said he thought Oh my God, that was Nadine’s grandfather. So first, we agreed, we were being watched over. Oh, and he is from the NorthEast and Pennsylvania. My dad will appreciate that. Second, I explained for whatever reason, I felt let down. I felt this false sense of needing something more but all I got was you’re doing it right. Why did I feel this way? Skip look me in the eyes and he said, “it is better to know you are on the right track rather than having to start over and begin again.” We get to go home. Why am I not jumping up and down? Maybe over loaded. We discuss the fear, and through the evening we talk about it. I know what scripture says about fear, and I know it is one of the enemies deadly poison’s. I will battle it, we’ve been battling it since day one, can’t let our guard down now.

So we went back to the hotel, lay down for a while, Skip was blessed beyond belief by the hour long phone call to Delta. We were refunded every penny, every sky mile and every fee was waived for all three remaining flights. It was unreal. Thank you God for that, I can’t even. So cool.

We decide at 8PM to eat dinner. I’m psychotic about reviews and knew this could be an adventure. Everything I was finding looked AMAZING and normally we would’ve been all over it, but I didn’t think I could do a fancy dish. We ended up at this little burger joint, Little Bigs, and just had some sliders and fries. Think we were both about to fall over with fullness and heartburn when done, but it was nice to have a little time to talk and laugh. Things felt a little better. I had sent a few family texts out letting people know the results earlier and everyone encouraged me beyond belief. I got so many “yay! So glad you got confirmation!” “Great news!” “So glad you get to come home!” I needed that. For whatever reason I got stuck in that examination room and couldn’t escape it. Thanks for those who got me through it. You’’ never know how those messages made it good. As it absolutely should be! This is awesome news!! We get to come home, we get to keep on the plan, we get to show the doctors that this CAN be cured, and I’m hopeful.

A whole bunch of stomach acid relieving meds and bed. I crash out and got another five hours. Then I awoke. One of our conversations was a business adventure we want to pursue, and God laid it out at 4:30. Really? Now I’m never going to go back to sleep! I rolled over put it all in my phone and snuggled back up with Skip. Thank you God for another day. It is a great day. Don’t let us get bogged down in fear or the little things.Breathe. Take it in. Every day counts and every day is special. Don’t miss a single moment.

Off to meet back up with Dr. Booser at 11 to talk about the radon plan and then we fly home at 7. We have decided to explore Hermann Park today and I’m looking really forward to that. So let me wake up sleeping beauty and get ready for the day! Big hugs to you all. Stay tuned for the brain stuff, I mean, it’s just my brain we are talking about… no worries ;)