The Countdown to my Diagnosiversary!

9 hours 30 minutes...

Today is a VERY special day. I woke up around 5 in the morning and started to get ready for the day, went down and made some breakfast and sat in my recliner. I had brought down a book and decided to just turn to the last day. Funny it was entitled, “Last Day of the Year.” Today is the last day in the year of Stage IV breast cancer. I sat their in shock, unbelief, amazement and the joy of how long this last year has been. My family has crammed at least five years worth of things into one, and I’ve never been less busy in my life. It is so funny how priorities shift, commitments are carefully chosen, and time spent every day becomes so much more precious. Again, as I always say, none of us are guaranteed tomorrow. So why is it that we don’t live like that already? We wear ourselves out with the hustle and bustle, the drama and things we feel we “have to do,” when in reality, if you heard you had 3 months to live, you’d change what you were doing for those next three months. Anyone one of us would, life is precious and we want to spend every waking moment with the ones we love.

The other part of today that is so special is that it begins a new cycle of chemotherapy. I talked to the doctor today and these are the thoughts.

My LM cytology again was clear even though my brain MRI’s are clear. The thought is that the spinal fluid itself is clear with no free floating cells, and now we are only dealing with cancer cells that have adhered to the lining. We talked about my bone metastasis into the spine. Basically the Alimta/Carbo has that job as well and the bone drug I am on, Zometa, is actually to rebuild bone. It’s so crazy. She tried to access my Ommaya to drain off more liquid but it didn’t want to flow, so we will just wait 4 weeks to access it unless I show symptoms of progression.

Everyone is being super careful, but once again, Decadron was on my list. Wowzers. Not sure how this keeps coming up, but even my pharmacy filled Decadron the other day!!! They know also! Anyway, I just started fluids and Avery and her mom left.

If you haven’t heard about Avery, she is doing an inspirational documentary/ research project on my last year of fighting Breast Cancer and Leptomeningeal Metastis. She followed me through the clinic to basically give people an idea of what we do, and is going to be a rad video! Realized there is a LOT of waiting. She got to watch them access my port, access my Ommaya port, and start an infusion. I’m actually really eager to see this all put together. I love helping kids succeed and I know this is not only going to be special for her, but a keepsake for my children and one day their kids. She has no idea what a special gift this is for me.

I’m going to close my eyes for a while. Prayer Warriors, positive vibe friends, whatever it is you do, continue. We have beat this before and will beat it again.

• We need a miracle.
• We need Alimta and Carbo to do it’s thing and kill the cancer.
• Specific areas include the vertebrae of the spine – the entire spine and the LM tumors.    Annihilated guys, gone. 
• That the side effects are nonexistent.
• That my immune system works for me and that I stay infection free.
• That I continue to be active and healthy with my diet.
• Current side effects disappear – loss of balance, headaches, earaches, back pain and popping, and for intestinal tract to continue to work well.

I am overwhelmed at the amount of love I’ve been receiving through all avenues, and think that if people from the outside saw the love that has been poured in, they’d have a new perspective on humanity and what serving truly looks like. “Ask and you shall receive…” basically my family, friends and community motto and they don’t even know it. I would encourage anyone who is starting this journey of cancer to find 4-6 friends who are willing to be “on your ‘hope’ team.” This is your go to people for rides to clinic, people to set up meal trains, prayer chains, grocery and errand runners, people who can get your kids in a moments notice and plenty more. Let them be in charge and allow them to help as no one loves standing by and doing nothing. Soon your team will grow and grow, and you will be so blessed by it.  #teamnadine is 1805 people Facebook Strong and many, many more thousands strong across the world. Thank you to all of you, you redefined the word support this last year.