Tuesday, June 7, 2016

Nudges You Cannot Ignore

I have been so bad about updating on Monday’s! Yesterday was an AWESOME one! I felt really energized on the steroid and had no sickness to fight, my eyes were swelled but not as badly as the days prior. Skip and Madison were off by 11 and me and Alana stuck together for the day. We did chores together while watching Coral Reef, we went through bags and boxes of gifts, cards and years of collected stuff. We played with some, painting and taking fun breaks, and went to finally pick up my car from the dealership.

Then we went to Shane’s Ribshack and ate dinner and saw our neighbor Lauren! Alana was SO excited! When we left, where the clouds and sun was, we knew there had to be a rainbow close by! So we went on a rainbow hunt and low and behold it was in the Kroger parking lot. Of the joy this child had! We snapped a few pictures and decided to shop.

We walked all around getting pretty much anything and everything and headed home. When I opened the fridge, that was it. See over 2 weeks ago I bought drab. It was frozen so I left it in the bag to defrost. Little did I know the crab had popped holes in it and it defrosted all over my fridge. So me and Alana went crazy. Laughing, Lysoling, Windexing, Scrubbing, NOTHING will touch the smell!! We have tried everything and took everything apart. It’s spotless. Finally, I think we figured out it had soaked into the paper of some beer bottles. So we last ditch took them out, threw away all the trash, and put baking soda on every shelf. And this morning, super faint. FINALLY!!!!! It was actually really fun and we laughed for a good hour trying to find the culprit.

We finished up putting things away and decided we would have a camp out in mommy and daddy’s bed. Now I knew this was potentially a bad idea for the way she sleeps when we check on her, but to my amazement it was 80% me. I was amped. I couldn’t get my mind to stop running, my back was hurting to the point I almost took pain medication (that means like an 8 for a normal person – I have issues) but I totally overdid it. If you saw the smile on that child’s face all day long though, you’d have faked it all the way too!

So we did good, got up, ate breakfast, all on time and off we go. About 20 minutes into the drive I go OH NO! We didn’t drop Alana off at camp!!!!!! I almost started crying.  So we turn around and she ends up whining the entire way, only 10 minutes late. But mom on the other hand is now 45 minutes late. Sigh. Well apparently because “Dr. May works a tight ship” I don’t get to see her now and I had a list of things I needed to talk about. I’m not going into it but a lot of things were confirmed for me this morning as God has been tapping quite often on my shoulder about moving back to Emory. It’s a huge tear because I love nurses and the quiet peace of the entire place, but I need to see my doctor. Not her PA. I’ve had swollen eyes for SIX weeks and no solution, but suggested today to try Lasix and stay on Alimta. And I get to make that decision?!! What? Whatever Dr. Kesari says we go with. He said hold Alimta, which they never received either. I feel like I’m losing my mind.

When I reached out to him today he said he thought Dr. Goginini at Emory was great and has already emailed her. She is technically my doctor there still, I just chose MD Anderson and Dr. May because everyone all had the same opinion, same as Emory, and wouldn’t have to deal with the traffic and factory.

Okay, so I said more than I planned, but that’s just the way God is directing me. You can’t fight the nudge as hard as you try. We’ve prayed he would keep us on the right path, this I feel, is it.

My heart breaks mostly as I’ve made a really good nurse friend Carmen. I’ll just have to keep up with her. And I don’t like anyone other than Dr. May messing with my Ommaya, but I guess I’ll get over that quickly. This is where we need to be.


It’s a whole new journey all the way around as we start Opdivo. I’m so grateful that I’m going to be on one drug for our trip out west. Hoping it treats me well, and that I have energy. I’d love to kick off the new journey with an amazing family journey, finally, to see the Grand Canyon.

Thank you Lord for being SO CLEAR to me today. We are blessed.

No comments:

Post a Comment