It's Been A While, Like two weeks

Another partial seizure, lots of tears and the phone call to say my new drug has been approved. It’s bittersweet. Part of me the other night felt the seizure coming on. My eyes were jumping all over the place and I sat there and actually debated on taking my medications. I thought, well, here’s an opportunity to possibly let it kill me. But my goal is Christmas and seizures hurt pretty badly, so I chose the fight it route. I cried and cried until it was gone then cried more.

I’m paralleling the life of a dear friend of mine. She understands the down a bit more than I as the bones in her body are much worse. She wakes up ready to give up because it hurts too bad to get up, so for both of us I whisper every morning, “Thank you God for another day.” Because I know where she is at. I know the anger that seems to be on a cycle, that just leaves you wanting to hit something. She asked if we could throw plates. I so wish we didn’t live on opposite ends of the country, we have an awesome plate throwing team here! HAHA!

Anyway, I bring up my friend because I’m grinning ear to ear. Me and some core peeps decided to make Christmas a reality for them this year. We are going all out and I’m tickled. We are going to send so much love that I think the walls might explode with hope and joy! We love you Brittany Black and Family! Keep being strong!

This week I took being strong to the stupid level. I cant walk 2 feet without losing my balance, literally we tested it for a science project, yet I’m bound and determined to hike my property. The weather was delicious! Perfect fall air and I was going to climb the trail. Two hiking sticks and Madison taking spot duty, we stopped and went. You know, I should have Strava’d it! I got to the Old Moonshine Sill and popped onto the ground. I just soaked it all in while people went exploring. It’s our favorite Ellijay season. Free-hike, no snakes, and the beauty of fall was more vibrant than I would’ve imagined!

I decided I wanted to head back, but no one was around so I scooched like 20 feet on my butt. Skip was like, “uh, baby, where do you think you’re going?” Down the mountain. He and the tree helped me up, and we hobbled down the mountain! What I didn’t expect was the pain that would be in my stomach and chest for the next 4 days. I swore I ruptured something or messed up. Kicking myself my mom drove me all the way to Woodstock to see my PCP. He was even concerned but in the end, all was well and we now know what overdoing it really does. CHEESE!

Thanksgiving was lovely, with family and friends and more food than one could comprehend. I think we ate turkey and ham for 4 days! We stayed up through Saturday and came home well before dinner. We spent the rest of the weekend finishing Alana’s new room and took a day to chill.

I started Xeloda Saturday and so far so good. Maybe a little fatigue but that’s it really. I did finally get the PET results from the PCP since no one EVER called to share that little tid bit of information. So me and Dirk read them together. Basically everything was 50% worse. Two centimeter lesions were 4, on top of new ones in the liver and bones. I’m not sure what the wording was in the brain and totally forgot until just now to clarify with Dr. Simon or Kesari. So we were glad to get Xeloda and soon behind will be Opdivo. I get a brain MRI December 14, Skips 40^th birthday which I’m sure he will appreciate driving me all over town. Haha. And then the year is up! And do you know what that means besides hitting new deductibles?!? I’ve made it to another Christmas. TWO! So even though I want a pool for Christmas and a few little things (okay a lot of big things done in Ellijay) All I really want is for everyone to be together, happy, laughing and making memories.

This year has been especially rough on the kids, especially bratty teenagers. I’m sure if half of the kids knew what Madison had to deal with they’d love on her instead of causing more drama in her life. They take it home and bicker and whine. So my Christmas wish is that for two weeks my house is magically stress free. That we give much more than we receive as it is our turn to pay it forward! Our prayer warriors have helped us get this far, our clean team, our cooks, drivers, and last minute call upon angels… may your December be magical as well. Jesus was born so he could lead us to eternity, to have hope in a future beyond understanding. Pray with #teamnadine for the miracle of healing. It IS possible, I have hope again.