Awesome Scans and Markers

Just wanted to document the week... it's a long one:

I wanted to take a moment to write about our good news. On Monday I was supposed to get my echo and my ultrasound, but my tummy woke up growling and when Skip asked me for food, I never even remembered I was supposed to be fasting. Well, it was a blessing because I didn’t have to wait and I was able to schedule it at the same place I had the first the following morning.

What we didn’t know was that when we were called it was going to be the same tech! (Though I secretly knew it would be her) I was so relieved because I remember how thorough she was. I thought this was so cool because now the radiologist could compare both reports. There was a little mix up with orders but she finally settles in to start the exam. She starts with the liver and I’m looking too. I was thinking it but not assuming it, and then she said something like a shock in her voice and then all I remember is, “there’s nothing to measure!” I instantly started crying. Forty percent of my liver was blocked only 8 weeks prior. One word, MIRACLE!! There is no way! We were in shock. She said she saw no fluid, my kidneys looked well and the thickening in the bladder was shrinking. The ONLY thing she saw was a faint lesion still on the spleen that seems to be hanging around. It’s expendable I guess. If its gotta go, it goes!

She basically walked us through everything, even though she is technically not allowed, which was AMAZING. We got up and Skip and I hugged hard and then I hugged her. Im pretty sure we were all crying. We had just witnessed a miracle. She said she had reviewed the prior study and thought, “wow I was thorough.” She also said she had told herself not the expect anything crazy. Well, this my friends, was crazy!! Crazy God amazing!

We left and literally ran to the fountain in the plaza and danced around the ledge of it laughing and crying and being amazed yet again. I called and texted all of my family, and told a few friends asking, and was waiting to tell our kids before letting the word leak onto facebook. I even turned tags off just in case. I had SOOO much energy!

We were running an hour behind at this point so I texted my next doctor to let him know we really didn’t need an exam but that if it was okay I would swing by for a hug and tell him my good news. This is one of my doctor daddies, Dr. Barber! When I arrived and checked in to let him know we were there, I hear, “Nadine!!” One of my breast cancer sisters from Dr. Namnoum was there!!! I’ll never forget when God made us friends. Dr. Namnoum will give you another survivor who is willing to share and be there for his new patients. I sat for an hour in the Publix parking lot talking to her. The next day after a series of emails, we find out we go to the same church!!! It was awesome. So I saw her, we got to chit chat for a little while and I was so happy! I was telling her the awesome news and we had our own little celebration in the waiting room.

They called me back, I know people had to be super unhappy with me since it was packed and I had just got there, but they just didn’t know my appointment was now a hug!! His nurse Jennifer saw me into a room. We had actually never met but apparently she had heard of me, had even found my blog and knew me as being Dr. Barber’s favorite patient. Shh, that’s a secret, HEHE, but that made my day even better. We started talking and I then I got to share the news. He was near speechless and I saw the tears in his eyes. This is a doctor who has texted me several times he would be praying for me. He gave me the Kelly May referral. I LOVE this doctor and was so glad I got to celebrate in person with him.

Then we shot over to the Tower where I get my IT chemo. Think it was #10! Wohoo! Two to go and we are weekly! I told Dr. May first the news, before I even sat down. I am not up to date on all her looks yet, but I’ll call that one shocked. I think for the fact that I knew before she did and that it was gone. I know I expected it to have shrunk, but to see it gone? That was unreal. My white blood cells sky-rocketed to 10,000 from the lowly 700, so the shot definitely worked. Praising God I had no side effects! Not a single one! Another unheard of thing with that drug.

We left there and headed to Flying Biscuit. I had been fasting for the ultrasound and had not had anything and Skip had an eggo. I don’t think it mattered what I had to eat at that point I was starving.

Finally we were home and encouraged Skip to go ride after madison got home so we could tell the kids together. He was packed and ready, and lay down on the bed with us as we watched Saving Santa. Well, we fell asleep while watching the movie, I think I just dozed for a second because sadly, I was “into” this movie. Yes, I will have to see the ending at some point. Anyway, I look at the clock and it was 4:45??!! I KNEW Madison had not arrived because the dog never barked, and instant panic hit me. I picked up my phone and I had a text with a picture, “bus broke down.” Relieved. Until I saw the reminder for Reflections Ceremony at the School in 10 minutes!!! Oh no!

So in a mad rush we go. Alana is in nothing appropriate, hair still not brushed from crazy day and now Madison cant be there! Which means we cant tell the kids and I want to tell everyone! But as always God’s perfect timing prevails. We drive to the corner and her bus pulls up! YES!!! So in the car on the way, so NOT how I envisioned this, we are telling the kids the AMAZING news!! Both kids clap just like me when Im excited and there were a lot of cheers!! We arrive in the parking lot snap a photo and boom! We have survived the day and came out with some pretty awesome news. Alana received two first place medals and then we celebrated with dinner out at Taco Mac and went home to watch more of our Star Wars marathon. One and a half movies left and then it’s IMAX December 18^th for episode 7!

Next we got reports of my tumor marker. It has decreased from 2,900 to 290 in 8 weeks. That is UNREAL! My heart also appears to be functioning better despite the chemo! So we continue with two more Adriamycin treatments. My dad at some point in our conversations asked if it had felt like a weight was lifted and I quickly responded without a need to think, “no.” Awesome to see it working absolutely, but I don’t think the weight will ever be lifted. There will always be maintenance drugs, there will always be scans, there will always be appointments and the wondering if its rearing it’s ugly head again. I am however empowered. To be showing signs of this ugly disease being brought down, the light at the end of the miniscule percent that I would make it, all have me in fight mode. Those results made me stronger. Now more than ever, I feel new hope. I never want to think that I should expect to be here another day, as each is a true gift, but I have so much joy in finally seeing that the possibility of overcoming some of the biggest fears in my life being stomped down.

For example, just the night before we had went to visit Santa in the mall. A super cute experience and we bought all the pictures (I know such a rip-off, but why not at this point!) We had such a fun time. I got home and the thought that ‘this could be my last Christmas’ was wrapping around me with long red and green ribbons. I fought it pretty hard and it left me alone. Getting this news made that fear crumble by my bed and now that I look back I smile. Like I said, bigger strength and new hope.

I know what is happening to me is happening for a reason bigger than me, my family or the army of team Nadine supporters. If you can’t see the miracles happening go back to my September blogs. It’s been a train of His hand showing up over and over and over again. I’ve been quite led to write my personal God story lately (testimony). About a month ago I thought I would write it so it could be read someday at my funeral, (yes, I did, don’t judge me!) but I feel like its something that I need to write now. Finding the blessings in the storm isn’t always easy while you’re weathering it, but I’m peaceful. The boat is rocking and I’m not moved. Good news comes and I am truly grateful and the strength continues to build. Not physical strength as I’m still up and down week to week, but spiritual, life-living, push harder strength.

I know that was long, thanks for listening if you made it this far. I have more days to fill in, but this for now is good. Going to take a nap for my last hour of Chemo #5 and then head home for a week of sleeping. Again no plans, so just planning to lay low, return to the doc Monday and then hopefully, God willing, we have not a single appointment for one entire week so we can spend the remainder in the mountains. And did you hear that? An entire 7 days OFF! It sounds soooooo good…

Psalm 9:1-2 I will praise you, Lord, with all my heart and tell about the wonders you have worked. God most high I will rejoice; I will celebrate and sing because of you.

Stay positive! Stay strong! Keep the faith! Let’s be the tiny percent together!