Meeting the Oncologist

So this was maybe not my favorite part, but here it goes.

I had a liver biopsy, a stent placed in my kidney (did I say how I want to KISS that doctor - mad pain relieved), and PET scan done. I finally am on the road to being released from the hospital, with one last event. Meet the oncologist.

Dr. May was highly referred to us by my breast surgeon and was basically interviewed for us by phone by my plastic surgeon. (He is my doctor daddy. He visited me like two or three times and texts all the time! LOVE!) So if he says okay, we are okay! She came in with not the best of bed side manners, but for now, we are going to say she was holding back as there were people in the room. Why she didn't ask them to leave is beyond me, but I'm giving benefit to the doubt. I truly do not know what she even said, but I remember asking several questions about not understanding parts of the ultrasound and CT and she just kept changing the subject or oddly ignoring me all together. Then, I might be crazy, but I'm pretty she didn't even say good bye! I was speechless.

So, the nurse comes in after her and I being who I am, asked for the PET scan results before leaving. Everyone left, I was discharged and in the wheelchair, and I begin reading. Now you have to understand, I've been reading these things for a long time, but never ever, did I expect what I saw. I knew it was on my liver, I knew it was in my abdomen, I knew it was on my sternum. When I got to the part about the base of the brain, I shuddered, and then as I kept reading. The next lines would break my heart. It was in my bones. Two parts of my spine and in my pelvis. Any hope I had found quickly disappeared. I got in the car looked at skip and said,"this is going to kill me. It's in my bones."

Deep breath. Writing that sucks.

Ok. So since then, I've vented to Dr. May's awesome sauce assistant who has literally called me every day and I think we are going to try again. Dr. May was ON IT when I went to the ER yesterday and we talked for a while which helped. We see her again Thursday and need to PRAY PRAY PRAY the results for the receptors are back. We cannot plan treatment without that confirmation.

Big hugs and love. Bear with me as I chain blog... Hopefully, I can get back to my fluffy/fun self soon without all the mega boring details. :)